The Bummers of Summer

With summer now officially here to ruin my days, I wanted to take a look at some of the things I cannot stand about this time of year. I do actually enjoy the summer, but as somebody who prefers the cold and sweats a ton, this is tortuous for me. 

I do not understand the purpose of ticks or poison ivy in the ecosystem. I believe in God, but I question if there is one when I see these eyesores of nature. In order for ticks to thrive, there needs to be a dense population of host animals. It makes sense that as development occurs and woods are chopped down that the deer and other forrest animals run out, scattering their parasitic partner the tick into our residential areas. The Soviet Union did it right - blasting everywhere with DDT to eliminate all of nature's bastards. And nobody could say a word about it. I just read that a guineafowl eats them up pretty good. According to wikipedia, two of these birds can clear two acres. Why they don't just say one bird can clear an acre of ticks is beyond me. If only there was a way to contain all the ticks in the world to one acre, starve a guineafowl for a year, and let it loose, then one problem is solved. There is also some wasp that lays its eggs in a tick, ultimately killing it when the wasps birth themselves out of the eggs. Wikipedia, the most trusted source for anything, does not state a purpose of the tick on this planet. I googled "why do ticks exist" and nobody has an answer. Don't give me that bullshit that ticks, like all other animals, fill a "niche" in the ecosystems. Sorry, but bloodborne pathogens don't need to exist and neither do the animals that are sitting in the forrest with a belly full of ticks. I get bit by at least one tick a year, and three years ago I developed Lymes Disease. I was very fortunate to have a quick reaction to the tick bite and was receiving medical attention within 4 days. It was a wiped out two weeks of medicine for me, but I was very fortunate compared to other stories I have heard.


If you find one on you, get the finest tipped tweasers you can find. Lift the body of the tick if you have to and grab the tick as close to the skin as possible. Do not jerk it but just steadily pull. The tick will either withdraw itself on its own or by this force. Do not mess with the tick body. Any jarring movement or squeezing could make that little fucker spit up in you and make you sick. If you don't have tweasers, wait till you can find some. If you will never have any, then use your fingers best you can. Once the tick is removed, SAVE IT! Morbid, yes, but the doctors may want to test it if you develop something. Clean the bite mark of any tick particles possibly remaining then boil (I mean use hot water and soap) the bite area. Keep an eye on the wound and be mindful of flu like symptoms. 

Next on my "Why God Why" list is Poison Ivy, and all its useless relatives. Basically, the urushiol oil excreted from the leaves/vines of the plant is what will get you. Did you know that it is only really known to be in North America. I think very very little poison ivy exists in Europe, but typically does not exist in high elevations. It is not an actual "ivy." Again, I could not find one benefit of it for nature with one exception - butterflies land on poison ivy, unaffected by the urushiol oil, because their predators know they cannot eat the leaves or land on them. There are a lot of sayings to use to help you avoid contact with poison ivy. The most common one is "Leaves of three, let it be." I just read one I liked - "Side leaflets like mittens, you will itch like the dickens."


So let me get this straight, the Soviet Union (i.e. Russia for the most part) has taken advantage of the short shelf life of DDT and is no viable home for poison ivy, thus eliminating ticks and the chance of walking through a patch of urushiol oil when going to my mailbox. People allergic to poison ivy may possibly have the same reaction to mangoes and or cashews. I enjoy two of these three items with no complications.


I type this as I am recovering from poison ivy on my arms. Typically, I have a reaction two to three days after I was exposed to it. This bout, I had the rash within 3 hours. I saw my doctor immediately who gave me this nifty little spray that has controlled all the symptoms. Thank you, shaman. I once had a reaction so bad from a time when my neighbor was burning leaves/logs/trees in his backyard. I knew there was poison ivy throughout my neighborhood, but this asshole had to disturb it and burn it, making me break out like I have never done before. I needed three rounds of steroids. My arms were twice their size, feeling like I was being cut on every square centimeter of my arms and eventually my legs. It was crawling around my eyelids as well. It was the worst I ever had. Plus, the oozing of the rash blisters was pouring out of my arms. I had gauze bandages and wore long sleeves and it was still dripping. Gross.


The steroids did not make me stronger.

And they do not make Uma Thurman hot, to me.


If you encounter poison ivy: if it is the super hero lady, run as she is probably insane; if the plant, then first chance you get scrub your skin with a rag. If you are like me you will get the rash regardless, but you can prevent how severe it is. The purpose is to soak up most of the oil. I would use a rag, then use Ivy-Dry on affected areas after showering. Staying cool helps halt the spread as well. Your pores expand in the heat and your sweat pushes the oils around. Also, there is no safe place to touch poison ivy - including the leaves, vines, and roots.


To me, the worst of summer is yet to come. The worst feeling on the planet is taking a nice cool shower after the gym only to start sweating again the second I walk out the door. Wah Wah Wah I know. When I was in the Coast Guard academy with my Ukranian roommate during the summer, we sweat just as much. I expect to sweat, but getting over those first few drops of it is tough. If I am full on sweating profusely, that's a different story.


I only really have one more thing that gets to me. It is not the shore traffic. I live and work in areas that serve as main arteries to the golden coasts of Needle Jersey. Is it hurricanes? No, as by the time it hits my area, they have little impact other than providing the much needed rain. Last year we had a hurricane rip through here that was not so bad locally at Philadelphia, but reaped havoc in the suburbs, New Jersey, and the shore areas.


The last thing that always bums me out about summer is the extra tiredness that being in the extreme heat, the draining sun, and humid air brings forth. I am not talking about the kind of tired resulting from the loss of fluids while swimming in the pool or ocean. Heat tiredness, NOT heat exhaustion, is also really dangerous. I worked in 100 degree weather last week that was tough, but I think I made it through just fine. But driving home I was almost falling asleep at the wheel and fell asleep to the point of 5 minutes after I was to take my dinner out the oven!


So, I know most of you lunatics are trying to bake in the sun and all, which you should definitely be careful, so I will not try to convince you to dislike the summer like me. Whatever you do, do it wet and hydratedly, be safe and watch out for the ones you love and other people you don't.