Awwwww....the Denver Broncos

Well folks, I just flew back from Denver and boy are my arms tired. I will say the altitude adjustment was rough. Even when I’m standing a mile high I was still shorter than everybody else. 

All joking aside about the Denver Broncos, the city of Denver was very relaxing. As a new vegetarian, it was great eating. As a hater of hipsters and unnecessary beards, I hated it. At least the parts I was in were very much dominated owned or run by youths. And these fuckers knew everything about anything. 

We drove around the city one morning and there was what appeared to be a swap meet for homeless people where college-aged students were supplying donations and all. But that day we were going to the best place I ate there: City O’City. It was more vegetarian than any other place we had gone. The meat substitutes they had prepared were unlike anything I had before. We had to wait first for maybe 45 minutes so we walked the town. We went by where the homeless swap meet was but when we began walking towards it I noticed the view of the mountains from the city. I think that moment I fell in love with Denver. 

Living in Pennsylvania I don’t get to see super mountains like these. 

Snow covered mountaintops looked even cooler when we were flying home. I looked down at the Great Plains then looked back towards Denver and saw the huge snow covered Rockies in the distance. 

My wife and I enjoyed our time there. I want to go back in the summer and would do a winter trip there again too. Missed out on snowmobiling but had just enough exposure to want to go back more than once in the future. 

Plus I want to go back to check my score: 

Dubold 2017 NFL Draft Predictions

No, this isn't about the players or teams involved. It's about the City of Philadelphia showing the NFL how we roll. 

1. Roger Goodell gets booed out the building. No way that the designers of the NFL draft outdoor theater DID NOT take acoustics into consideration when they built that erection. This isn't just like the introductory boo Chicago gave. I hope it is to the level of th NHL draft. Also, watch Roger get booed at thenEagles pick, hopefully the crowd cheers at the name, and then boos the notorious Goodell bronhug that follows. 
2. I would love the crowd to boo everybody who isn't the Eagles. That would be incredible. There is a special presenter for the Ravens. A kid with a rare or terminal disease (I apologize for forgetting the name but the kid is brace from what I recall). The crowd WILL cheer that kid then they will boo the crap out of the selection. 
3. The Eagles will not pick a player tonight with a red flag. The city is in that spotlight, one night atop the sports world. I hope the GM and owner and coaches are smart enough to not pick up a woman hitter or accused rapist. You cannot have this event in the city, knowing that #1 and 2 above will happen, and pick a questionable character person. 
4. Rich Eisen will have terrible Philadelphia jokes. I used to like him a lot. I used to listen to his show all the time. Then it became a three hour tedious event to labor through. No thanks. And when #1 and 2 above happen, we will be reminded about snow balls at Santa. Oh and the Eagles play on Christmas this year. 
5. We will be represented by national media coverage as cheesesteak eating fatasses who's greatest achievement was Rocky. That said, tomorrow's talk radio will be awesome and prideful. 

That's it! Deep down I hope the Eagles get Christian McCaffrey or I guess one of those two top receivers. You won't need to resign Jordan "Every Other" Matthews and Agholor can pack his terrible bags and finally catch something: the next plane out of town. I hope for McCaffrey or a top not-acccused-of-rape corner. I will seriously reconsider my fandom if they select Joe Mixon. 

Tonight two birds will rule Philadelphia: the Eagles and the boo birds!

Red eyes and black eyes

 

So an Asian, a plane crew, and some police walk into a plane....

Too soon? The only thing I think I will remember from the recent United Airlines event is the comical screams of the doctor as he was being forcibly removed from a plane. So they offer you money. You don't have to take it. They up. You don't have to take it. They COULD have maxed out at $1,350 but they didn't. I would've taken it. Then they explained why people were going to be selected. Then they called the doctor and told him. Gave him a chance to get off. Then after he is forced out the chair he falls into the seat across the aisle. The screaming stopped because he was knocked out. 

My only question here is why did he scream like a banshee? There are so many outraged people right now it's ridiculous. People need to find the airline guilty of overbooking, not treating their customers like shit.  Unfortunately for the man the airline rules that we all usually agree to were actually enforced. When somebody doesn't want to leave but they need to and you've already kind of sort of agreed to, how do you get the person out? You call the police. 

But alas we live in an era where everybody is a reporter. Everybody wants to be the next big sensation online. There was a scene on the plane and people start filming because they can't mind their own business. Don't get me started on how police are treated or how they treat others these days. You see far more bad than good. The scandal started then more videos came out. People actually recorded video of the man talking to United on the phone and when the bloodied man returned inexplicably to say, "Kill me..." over and over? Why was he acting like a teenage girl on the day of a test who just had a fight with her boyfriend? Keep in mind that since this doctor made a big deal about his exit, "the internet" revealed that this doctor had a strong showing in the World Series of Poker and also he was convicted of a prescription drug scandal recently. So maybe this isn't the nicest dude out there to begin with. If you aren't complying with rules, you need the police. If you refuse to get off a plane after being offered money, and claim to be a doctor or whatever, keep in mind nobody at the time could confirm that, and United had planes that led to the worst attack on our country, why wouldn't police do what they have to do? It's like wearing meat flavored shorts in shark infested waters. 

These events led to people, honest to God, holding up protest signs to boycott an airline that was doing something the man agreed to and needed police to intervene. To make it worse, a couple days later somebody boarded a plan and a frigggin scorpion fell down and stung a passenger. And this morning I read this: https://www.yahoo.com/style/united-airlines-kicks-couple-off-plane-en-route-wedding-181721817.html. 

Read that article. How do you get kicked off a flight because somebody else was in your seat? Oh and also an air marshall kicked them off, not the airline policy. The best is when the father of the bride says they expected something like this in Costa Rica (the destination of the wedding) but not the US? Why? Because those head hunters and cannibals in Costa Rica can't handle normal activity? Maybe your daughter and son acted on better than those barbarians down there. 

I think I hold them more responsible for the scorpion than anything else I've mentioned. You cause a scene that is unnecessary, perhaps this happens: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pofUsd9hEi8. 

Maybe you're the problem, not them. 

Snowboarder caught in avalanche, films ordeal - GrindTV.com

Snowboarder caught in avalanche, films ordeal - GrindTV.com

I want to rename this post, "How to be an absolute Douche."  The video is what it is.  The guy starts to snowboard, then all of a sudden it looks like his movement on the mountainside causes the avalanche, and he falls, fast, with the snow.  The rider appears smart enough to know all he can do is slide down with the snow.  Quick thinking if you ask me that maybe saved his life or saved him from severe injury.  The guy here, not the douche I'm referring to.  Comments on the video range from somebody saying they couldn't view it to another poster suggesting a guy kill himself for saying the video quality wasn't that good.  People then go on and on about how it's not an avalanche, just a small snow slide, but "get's the heart rate up nonetheless." Douches.  That last comment is saying like it was some kind of amateur "baby's first fall" when the guy commenting has probably been through a hellacious mudslide.

I have to say, I never understood the whole "GoPro" thing until I see things like this.  Okay, so a part of me still can't understand what this guy intends to do with the video he made if he didn't have an avalanche.  Somewhere, in the middle of Romania, there is a woman sitting on a couch who just watched her 400th snowboard video.

I do believe though that through other's misfortunes that were captured by a GoPro or other personal camera, you are able to find some extreme situations you can learn to survive.  The avalanche video taught me what would probably be my only chance to survive that type of fall.  Now, the video of a guy who was in the Red Bull extreme grand canyon bike racing/jumping contest does me no good, even if the rider is removed from the bicycle and falling to certain doom.  That is just a situation that I would not ever be in.  I hope that my end in this life isn't met with a dirty dusty fall from a children's way of moving around before they can drive.

Yeah that's right, I called the bicycle pretty much a children's toy.  There are several "cyclists" as they are called.  I think your group should be called "bikeys."  If a toddler rides a trikey, than you at any age ride a bikey.  Ever see the video of a guy riding his bikey through the woods, and then out of nowhere a bear starts chasing him?  Like a nasty brown bear?  I will admit, if he wasn't on the bikey, he was probably dead meat.  However, the speed he was already at helped him avoid the sideswipe attempt from the bear.  The only problem is though his path was the only thing his bike could really handle, leaving the bear plenty of open running space as well.  Eventually there's a tree down, like some other bear set this trap years ago for idiot bikeys.  The guy picks up his bike and runs through the woods, and, I shit you not, literally hides behind a tree to escape the bear.  I don't think I could run through the woods carrying the bike like that and hide behind a baby tree.  The guy is a better survivor than bikey.  I wouldn't survive that situation, but I also don't hop on a toy made for a child with my only contact with the outside world being a video that may or may not be eaten by a bear.  The comments on that video were like "what an amazing escape" and "new pants!" below the video feed.  The truth is the guy is stupid and would've risked hundreds of thousands of dollars had that bear got him in rescue efforts.  Just saying.

I honestly don't know if I could be friends with somebody who got excited about his/her GoPro.  You know who should wear GoPros? Doctors who perform surgeries.  Cops who may or may not go above the law, or just have as evidence if there is any doubt.  It shouldn't be for somebody wanting to show me how far they road down a dirt road.  Sorry brochacho, but I just don't care.

Tell me your story, how about that.  Tell me of the avalanche.  Honestly, if you told me about the avalanche, and then showed me the video, I couldn't think it would do what you actually went through any justice.  How do these people not have a 55-second clip of them yelling the f word? (the video is 55 seconds long).  How did the guy avoiding a bear attack not repeatedly say shit?  You can say the GoPro is made for the heroic or courageous recreationalist.  Or a bikey.

Supa Duba! Preview of Super Bowl XLIXVIIIXLC

Was the first Super Bowl designated with a 1? Or an I?  I wasn't a part of the beginning of the Super Bowl Era in the NFL, and nor am I really a part of it right now I guess.  What I am, though, is a fan.  I had some discrepancies with the moral compass laid out earlier this year by the NFL, but I realize no matter what I will never not be a fan.  Football is an amazing game.  This year two amazing teams get to play for the big trophy, and let's hope anything is better than last year.

Last year we saw the number one offense versus the number 1 defense, and it showed defense rules supreme. This year, it is being billed as two teams nobody likes going against each other.  I personally still like the Seahawks.  It's mostly their receivers I cannot tolerate.  I agree with the notion that you can't spout off for the second year in a row that nobody believed in you when you were an 8 point favorite at home, defending Super Bowl champions with the #1 seed in the entire NFL once again.  It doesn't work like that.  That makes people hate you.  The Patriots, well, they deal with their own self-created drama where we got to hear for one weak how Tom Brady likes his balls handled.  Aaron Rodgers likes him some firm balls, while Tom Brady likes his a little saggier.  In the Philadelphia area, people will more likely root against the Patriots rather than cheer the Seahawks.  Nationally we are constantly being told that nobody outside of New England and Washington state will care.  Which reminds me of Summerslam 1992 from Wembley Stadium, England.  It was two of the more popular bad guy acts in all of the WWF.  

Shawn, on the left, was originally managed by Sensational Sherri.  She sung his theme song, which when it was just her voice and her walking down with him looking like a total whore was the best entrance you could ever have in pro wrestling at the time.  However, Rick Martel, who was known as the Model, started butting his nose in their business, often finding himself flirting with Sherri.  It set up a match between two of the more hated guys.  The hate that you want to see them get beat up.  I remember leading up to the show, a twelve year old me excited to see them beat the crap out of each other.  Only I never saw it until i prepped for this post.  I used to listen to it on the PPV channel back in the day where the audio came in well, but the picture was mostly scrambled or a negative.

It should be noted that these two wrestlers went to a double countout, a draw or tie, if you will.  Sherri passed out as the two battled trying to revive her.  The two bad guys had a deal that they could do anything they needed to win, but punch in the face.  During the match, it went outside for a few minutes.  Shawn eventually got knocked down.  Martel approached Sherri and gave her an erotic awkward hug and it looked like they may have briefly kissed.  Eventually things broke down in the ring, and they hit each other in the face.  Sherri passed out.  They check on her. Martel knocks Shawn out again.  Martel tries to revive Sherri with erotic looking chest thrusts.  They both get counted out.

It should be noted that Sherr's last name was Martel, and she was in real life Rick Martel's sister.  I know it's not where the phrase came from, but it is true that a tie is like kissing your sister. Or molesting her.  For PPV-caliber money.

So yeah, this game will be like molesting your own sister.  Yikes, this got dark...sorry, let's get back to the game.  How could you not be excited for this game between the two best in the league going at it for a second year?  

And here's a fun picture of a Seahawk with a bunch of dinosaurs.

Perhaps the Katie Perry Half Time Show with like a billion guests will keep everybody involved.  Lenny Kravitz will be there.  Yeah. This guy who makes every song sound like NOT "Are You Gonna Go My Way."  Yeah, this guy is rock and roll.

Probably couldn't get a cab.  So, on to the actual game.  Here's what I'm looking forward to:

1. Herculean effort by Russel Wilson:  The week before Championship Sunday had the experts saying the Seahawks need to strike first because they aren't built to come from behind.  Especially against Aaron Rodgers.  The Packers sure enough went up by really 3 scores.  Wilson was picked off 4 times.  He eventually got the ball rolling (into his receivers' hands) and they came back with a three play drive in OT to score the game winning touchdown.  His game stats looked weak, but his poise and determination was shown, and I think I can always find myself cheering this guy on.

2.  Deflated-balls type taunt: If the Seahawks make a go ahead touchdown late or blow out the Patriots in the early going, expect something like this from the Frick and Frack of NFL, Jermaine Kearse or Doug Baldwin.  They are team players, but they have less class than I have ovaries.  Actually, if any ball references are made by hand gestures, I expect it to be from Marshawn Lynch.  But maybe that's what he wants you to expect....hmmmm....maybe he should just do a DX crotch chop.

3.  If the announcers address Seahwaks fans leaving one of the most epic games I ever saw early: I will never ever understand why you would leave a conference championship game.  The loudest and "best fans" in the NFL were not as loud or best as they normally are two weeks ago.  There is nothing else in that city to root for, except, as SNL portrayed last night in their Super Bowl themed show, "Coffee and rain!!"  I guess this item will be more about other people's reactions on social media to statements about the "12's".

4.  This:

That's a parade of Patriots passing by Tom Brady in a high five misfire seen by a lot of people.  It's okay, joke is actually on them as this is Tom Brady on a non-playing day:

Seriously, I think that is why people hate Tom Brady.  He's a pretty boy with a charmed life, supermodel wife, and all the money we could ever envy.  Just don't forget he earned it all, and yeah it's by throwing a football, but who cares, you still want to watch him get beat up, and if he was your quarterback you wouldn't have it any other way.

5.  Hits: I think both teams are easily agitated and physical.  The Patriots are crammed down America's throat in prime time games so I've seen them play a lot.  Legarrette Blount is awesome.  Lynch is destructive.  The secondaries on both teams play physical.  The linebackers are quick and cunning.  The Patriots receivers look like they chirp a lot, but they are the size of my 8 year old.  The Seahawks wide receivers are tiny, and they go ghetto fabulous on a great play.  That type of attitude gets you hit.  Plus, if you played defense in the Super Bowl, wouldn't you just want to get that game changing hit on Tom Brady?  How about being the guy that finally figures out how to be a brick wall to Russell Wilson?

6.  Commercials:  I haven't given up hope yet that I won't laugh my ass off this year at some.  I hate seeing ads on the side of some websites saying "Watch the new Budweiser ad and then wipe away your tears and remind yourself your a man."  No. If you cry at a commercial, you are a tool.  I mean a bear commercial.  They also say their is some domestic violence PSA coming out from the NFL.  I really want to know when it is going to air, so I don't have to explain to my 8 year old what domestic violence is and why I watch a sport with athletes who do it if it is so wrong.

7.  Collinsowrth coming up with new ways to praise everybody everywhere:  I think if you had Chris Collinsworth team up Joe Buck, that would be the worst broadcast team in America.  Al Michaels is great, but he tends to ride along the compliment train with Colinsworth by the end of a game.  I hope he can just stick to the game at hand rather than stuff like "they say this..." and "...you know the old saying..." and "...I've talked to many around the league who think this guy is/can/would've/could've/is going to be..."

Geez I guess I didn't make this Super Bowl sound too exciting.  Bottom line is I am excited.  The Tom Brady-Bill Belichek Patriots are a different team than the Peyton Manning All-Star Broncos.  The world told the Patriots they were finished after 4 games this year, seemingly in an insurmountable hole.  They went on to practically steam roll every other team but the Packers and Ravens.  The Seahawks seemed like a sure fire Wild Card team.  Yet, they clawed their way in to the best team in the NFL status.  You can argue the Cardinals losing two quarterbacks helped them, but I have a feeling the Seahawks would've rose anyway.  Next year may be a different story.

This year, I hope to watch the Patriots evolve their play mid-game.  I hope to watch a relentless Marshawn Lynch make defenders explode away from him and that defense attack every part of the offense.  I will be rooting for the Seahawks, as this will be the last year they are in the Super Bowl for a while.  I think, however the Patriots will win.  I heard yesterday that 3/4 defenders in their secondary have injuries that would keep them out of any other type of game.  One of them is expecting a baby today and may not be there.  If the baby was born this morning, then look out, Patriots, that could change everything momentum wise if one of the defensive leaders births a child this morning, what better way to celebrate and inaugurate the king child?  Bottom line is, thinking about this - I think the Patriots Offense is better equipped to score on the Seahawks defense than the Seattle offense is capable of scoring on New England.  However, the best performances against the Patriots has been the run game.  The Seahawks lack of true receiver strength could help them avoid having a star blanketed by Darrell Revis.  If the Seahawks win, Luke Wilson or Russell Wilson are MVP.  They will need a major effort from both these guys to tack on points and yards.  If the Patriots win, I expect Brady, Gronkowski, or Blount to win the MVP.  So, I see it playing out like this:

1st Quarter - Feeling out process, Patriots 3, Seattle 0

2nd Quarter - Some big plays develop, but both teams show wrinkles of great playmaking, Patriots 13, Seattle 6.

3rd Quarter - Adjustments and Seahawks start with the ball, even steven quarter, 16-16. Deuces.

4th Quarter - Back and forth and both teams playing not to lose, 23-23. Deuces wild.

Overtime - Yes, I think this continues on and the announcers don't wish for this to end, as everybody on the east coast hopes it does soon.  26-23, Patriots.

There you have it, a historic game that adds so much more to history of the NFL.  Patriots' coach-quarterback combo wins a Super Bowl 10 years after it's last one, Brady joins the likes of only 2 other quarterbacks in history, with a unique spin.  If you ever want to be known for than being more than a cheater, this is the game to prove it, and I think they will.