Fliping the Bird: A Weekly Look at the "At Least We're Not The Jacksonville Jaguars" Philadelphia Eagles

Fresh off another defeat (4 in a row) I looked to the Thursday night game last night between the Colts and the Jaguars. I thought maybe the Colts were picking up steam, but I never thought the Jaguars could be that bad. This was my lasting memory and a reminder that Rashad Jennings equals Maurice Jones Drew for fantasy football purposes:

 

Now, I know that if the Eagles get blown out in this next game, especially against the rival Cowboys, we will have bags over our heads, too. I have taken the liberty of coming up with a few names:

• Bag-les (using bags, with Andy Reid Mustache)
• Balding Eagles (skin head caps that have "we suck" written on them)
• The Clock Stoppers (everybody where a series of old-school clocks around their necks like Flava Flave in reference to Andy Reid's propensity for establishing the timeout)
• Unemployment line (wear an all black wind-breaker jump suit with fake/real mustache ala Andy Reid's outfit or a number 7 jersey)

Seriously, what more can happen to this team this year? Below is the current Eagles' depth chart for this week:

 

 

 

 

Maybe it is too small to read unless you click the picture itself for maybe a bigger read of it, but just so you know the starting line is King Dunlap (LT), Evan Mathis (LG), Dallas Reynolds (C), Danny Watkins (RG), Todd Herremans (RT). Okay, so this depth chart is obviously outdated as Herremans is out for the year now and possibly into next season. I believe I heard yesterday that the revised line is Demetress Bell (LT), Evan Mathis (LG), Dallas Reynolds (C), Dennis Kelly (RG), King Dunlap (RT). Well, the only starting lineman to still be healthy is Evan Mathis, and he had a down to up year last year by season's end. Jason Peters went down so the Eagles picked up Demetress Bell, who lost the starting job to KING DUNLAP. This eventually turned into a rotation of Bell and Dunlap that still proved to be terrible, helping lead Vick to make poor throwing decisions/getting hit and McCoy not being anywhere near as effective when Peters was running downfield with him. Vick still makes his bonehead throws, but then again this happens also:

 

 

What happened hear is Celek had the ball thrown at him at the 1 yard line. It looked like maybe his arm was held, but replays later showed he was slow bringing his left hand around to grasp the ball. What happened next was #21 intercepted it, FELL TO THE GROUND, and ran it 99 yards for a touchdown. That's right, the Saints defense scored as many touchdowns as this vaunted Eagle's potentially prolific offense. Disgusting. Celek used to be a sure bet in my mind. Not any more. None of them are. I saw Vick do his scrambling routine in the second half, and when he was doing that and throwing a bomb to Desean Jackson for their only touchdown strike, I thought maybe they had a chance.However, when the Saints fumbled the following kick off and the Eagles picked up the ball in the red zone, an overthrow of Jeremy Maclin killed the game. I knew that once this now-momentum-having offense had another quick chance to strike and they established the field goal again, well, it was time to start rooting for Drew Brees again to rack up points for my fantasy team.

 

So, let's look ahead to Week 10 by going back in the past at my previous projections for this game:

 

Week 10: Dallas Cowboys at Eagles

Dallas got waxed the last time they came to Philadelphia and the hype around Demarco Murray died down a little. The Cowboys now have Brandon Carr to help against the speedy receivers, but the rest of their secondary has more holes than _______________(insert hole joke here). I always have an uneasy feeling watching the Eagles take on Dallas, as I think the fans tend to get TOO confident. Who knows, maybe this is the year Tony Romo finally keeps it together for a season? With Laurent Robinson gone, I think you will see Romo have a very bad game, Dez Bryant look mediocre again, and Miles Austin slowly become the pre-Miles Austin Miles Austin again. Not to be one of those too confident Eagles fans, but, c'mon. Eagles 40, Cowboys 21 (7-2)

 

Well,  there is no Demarco Murray this week. That is a plus. The Cowboys have Brandon Carr and a decent rookie cornerback who have helped shut down pass attacks. I am still waiting for a hole joke. The radio hosts are already condemning the Cowboys to lose. Tony Romo has the most turnovers in the NFL (just ahead of my own Michael Vick). Romo has had more bad games than good, almost at a 3-1 margin, Dez Bryant is stupid, and Miles Austin is back to the pre-Miles-Austin Miles Austin.

 

However, both of these teams are tied for second, in the NFC East, but at 3-5. Second place doesn't mean shit anymore in this division as it is not the once toughest division it used to be considered. The Giants are 6-3 and go on bye next week, I believe. This is a great chance for one of these two teams to get on a winning streak to make up some ground. Cowboys fans are ready to kill their team, and Eagles the same. If something goes wrong in the first series, whether it be offense or defense, the fans will boo. Put the bags on their faces. Put the balding caps on. Chant "We Want Foles" or "We Want Juan" or "Fire Andy." The latter was chanted like midway in the third quarter in the last home game to the Atlanta Falcons.

 

Regardless of record/fans, the Eagles AND the Cowboys are not statistically out of contention in the division, let alone a wild card. The wild card contention teams are hovering at or slightly above 0.500. The schedule for the Giants will only get tougher, but they show they can get it done. The Eagles schedule is supposedly getting easier, although they only put up a 13 spot on the Saints (who were the beginning point of this supposed easier run). I don't know, man. I never in my life have counted out the Eagles. Ever. Only time was when they accomplished over 8 losses during the Mike McMahon year (McNabb had a sports hernia that year). Maybe this is the week the Eagles forget the criticism, forget the fans chanting, forget how to lose. I really like the idea of an early round draft pick, but never thought I would see the day when we are competing with teams like Kansas City, Jacksonville, Redskins, Rams, Browns, Bills, Panthers for a lowly spot. Unfortunately, that is how the Eagles are playing.

 

The only thing there is is hope. Maybe a week of practice with this makeshift line will help them get together. They came together last year after suffering key injuries. Maybe they give up on Celek and make him block more? Maybe they make Havili do a chip block here and there, and get him the ball in the flat? Maybe they have Bryce Brown lead block for McCoy to get his game going? Maybe the Eagles just try not to suck for a week?

 

I think the only thing the struggling key components of this Eagles team (i.e, Reid, Vick, Asomugha, Babin, DRC, Desean Jackson, Celek) is the verocity the fans will have towards the Cowboys. That energy can hopefully be consumed and incorporated by the Eagles. I will never forget the day, 4 seasons ago, when Oakland found a way to beat Tampa in the last game of the year, eliminating the Buccanneers from the playoffs and giving the final spot to the winner of Cowboys at Eagles. That crowd was jacked and I think it was a 44-3 victory for the Eagles. Again, we look at two desperate teams now, facing off in a semi-national spotlight. As much as the Eagles fans want change, they know in the bottom of their heart there is still a possible miracle, the smallest beam of light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully the players and coaches know it and play like know it. I saw a really shitty Jaguars team last night that I hope doesn't and still don't see how it can become the reality for the Eagles. Rise above. Don't be a Jaguar. Eagles 21, Cowboys 13. Winner takes at LEAST a wildcard spot in the playoffs. Mark my words (which have been pretty much wrong all year).