The Avengers - The Perfect Movie

So, Saturday night, I had the privilege of seeing what I believe is one of the best movies I have seen in quite sometime. No jokes - The Avengers really is that good. There are very few things you need to know about the characters' prior movies except: Thor fights Loki, Captain America was frozen, the Hulk is green, and Iron Man is awesome. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I love movies with explosions and huge rule the earth type scenarios. Particularly key in these types of movies is the destruction of cities such as Washington D.C., Los Angeles, New York, and Paris. The movie Independence Day was the innovator at this in the movies. Armageddon had some of it. Then the various movies kept up the tradition. As superhero movies advanced, the focus become one particular city getting demolished. The Avengers movie leaves New York City completely leveled. I like that. I do not mean like a couple buildings explode, but rather like every building gets shattered and flattened. 

Several movies occurred prior to this release to already introduce the characters that would join together for ths story. It is hard to tell if the writers overall wrote the movies for Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Hulk with the Avengers in mind, as the intertwined stories came to a head as well as advancing the timeline of each character.

So, now that I have really revealed nothing about the movie, let me describe a little about each major character:

The Hulk: Played by Mark Ruffalo rather than Ed Norton, his character is the only one to be played by somebody new. I thought he did great, and making Ruffalo's face the base for the Hulk was more realistic. However, Bruce Banner always looked like he was about to crack up every second. This incarnation of the Hulk was incredible. No pun intended. His destruction of Loki was both painful and hilarious. The Hulk only appears twice, but each time is epic and for a long period of time.

Ironman: Just like Iron Man 2, Tony Stark has matured and realized he needs to be part of the greater good. The capabilities of Iron Man are awesome and he has become, in my opinion, the most realistic superhero of all of them. Even his remote controlled suit to attach to him while he is falling was pretty cool and realistic (for a movie about alien armies and gods).

Thor: I thought the Thor movie was awesome. He was pretty awesome as a team player and his fight with Iron Man was indeed epic. He was the only character whose hair actually appeared to get messed up during the couple day long span the movie occurred over, you know, while fighting an alien invasion. When he throws the hammer at the Hulk it basically traps him to ground and was a pretty cool movie scene. I like his medievil speak too.

Captain America: His movie was my least favorite, just because I was not too fond of the World War II era fights. He crashes a plain and buries an energy source with him. However, in this movie, his innocent mind and 1940s language was a good bit of comic relief.

Black Widow: Meh. I don't really even think she is as hot as everybody says she is. She is a good actress and plays a decent super spy. She actually has a pretty decent role in the movie and is responsible for bringing one of the key characters into the mix. Her character held her own.

Hawkeye: The Lamest of all the Heroes. However, he is crucial to the movie as one of Loki's serveants. It took till almost the end of the movie, but the man finally ran out of arrows. I am all for a guy with a great skill being a superhero, but does he have to fight with this bow as well? It is just weird and I wouldn't think it would be anything painful.

Other Characters:
Samuel L. Jackson was great and didn't even have to curse. Nick Fury's eye has some veins coming out of it, but his condition has never been explained in a movie as far as I know. That SHIELD agent who is in every one of these movies so far - Fury calls him creepy, he is a big fan of Captain America, he stands up to Loki, and actually shows some personality beyond dry humor. Some taller woman with shortly cropped black hair is Nick Fury's right hand woman, and I really don't think she was anything crucial to the movie.

Loki was way better of a villain in this movie than in Thor. I liked his philosophical speeches on humanity and why it should be ruled. It was not cheesy dialog for the sake of dialog. His army was pretty awesome, too. His defeat at the hands of the Hulk was one of the funniest things in the movie. It made total sense that the Hulk would ultimately flatten Loki.

If I have not spoiled the movie enough for you, then let me tell you the five best scenes, in no particular order:

1. The second Hulk scene during the battle in New York. The Hulk appears earlier when he is in a confused state, fighting a bunch of people in a confused rage. However, his second appearance is crucial to the movie and actually kind of dramatic for a green freak of nature. He turns the tide, that's all I will say.

2. Hulk and Thor work together to destroy everything in New York. After they have defeated the last enemy in their way, the heroes walk side by side until something hilarious and unexpected happens.

3. Iron Man Vs. Captain America Vs. Thor. When the group has had enough of each other, Iron Man and Thor beat the crap out of each other until Captain America does his best to calm things down. The forrest they are in gets flattened, and everybody hugs it out at the end.

4. Loki Tricks Thor - How do I say any of this without giving ANYTHING away? Well, somehow Loki takes Thor as prisoner and proceeds to drop him to a certain death. The effects and camera angles of Thor falling and ultimately his way out were pretty unique. Cool scene.

5. The final battle. I thought the last hour of the third Transformers movie had the best final battle scene. This was right there, possible better. I would need to spend a loser of a Saturday watching both to determine this. When all the Avengers bond together, and the unexpected heros step, the expected happens, and the destruction and computer animation dominates the screen, you will love it all.


If you don't like nerdy, cynical jerkoffs talking during your movie experience, then wait maybe another week or two to see this. The smarmy teenagers sitting behind me thinking they were hilarious by saying "lol" at different parts of the previews got old quick. I was ready to turn around and ask the virgins to be quiet, but Kim calmed me and told me to not worry about it. I do think somebody behind me had seen it before, and every time something felt like it was about to happen the kid would say "watch this". No shit. Of course I'm going to watch this. I'm here. It was $11.50 per person.

Overall, I loved this movie. It was one of those once in a long time, if not once in a life time, movie. There is room for a second one, and if it is only half as good as this one, that will be great. There were more surprises than a Russian presidential election (i.e, no surprise) - which makes no sense. I am not a comic book fan, but I will read up about the characters in a movie prior to seeing it as far as superheroes are concerned. This movie set a bar for ensemble cast, special effects, action movies, and the entire superhero genre. If Jesus were a movie, then he would be the Dark Knight. God would be the Avengers. And the X-men would be like the other guy on the other cross.
Movies do not get better than this.

Finally...the end of the Beastie Boys

Look, I am not one to celebrate any person dying. And I know the next few days will be rough for me. However, I am willing to go through the next couple days if it means the world is now a better place.

What I am referring to is that one of these three guys below, named Adam Yauch, has died, thus the Beastie Boys Men are no more.

Obviously, they are now too old to recruit a new member, and are too young to retire. Who doesn't like a grey-haired rapper?

Okay, I kid, and I understand he died of cancer, which is a horrible way to go. However, you cannot look over the fact they had an album called "License to Ill" and Mr. Yauch was, well, ill.

Other than knowing he has a family somewhere out there in this world who are deeply saddened, the worst part of this will be the fact that every radio station will probably be tributing the Beastie Boys. The only song of theirs I ever enjoyed was "Sabotage" - barely. Every other song is I have heard of theirs on the radio has been what sounds like horrible scream-rap to stupid music. I do have some form of respect for some rap artists, as it is a talent for some to a certain degree. I just really do not see where the Beastie Boys had it. As I write this, I do remember that I liked the song "Intergalactic." Not good enough to remember I liked it, but enough to mention it if I remembered it.

Who in the class of 1998 from Cinnaminson High School could forget our town's most ardent supporter Mike Denkowicz's love of the Beastie Boys? The only thing more annoying for his love of this trio was his love of the Simpsons. I like the Simpsons. I just don't live like I'm in the Simpsons. I'm sure that is not the case anymore, as it has been a decade at least since I've seen him. His mom was always sweet, and he was actually always nice to me. So I guess I'm sorry for  your loss. Regardless, if anybody will actually be sad that he has passed, it would be Mike. It will now be time for people wanting to talk about how much they love the Beastie Boys when they probably hadn't gone out of their way for a while to listen to them.

Now, will any radio station NOT play a Beastie Boys song? I heard "Fight for your Right" today in the gym. I actually listened to the lyrics, and it was horrible. "Your mom threw away your best porno mag". Stupid. There's a line about homework in the song as well, and I don't know, I just don't like them. "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" - what the hell is that about? Even the two songs of theirs that I find remotely listenable are nonsense.

I guess at a time like this I could lay off the criticism. The body is still warm, afterall. I am just writing this as an open forum to the world to request that the radio stations do not get out of control and play a different Beastie Boy song every hour.

I'm sorry for how he passed, but I am grateful that the tyrannical reign of the Beastie Boys is now over.

Duba Doppleganger!

This is the "Not So Great" Jim Duba Doppleganger. This is a picture taken from this Yahoo! article talking about prisoners and cats, but who cares about that. My Russian fans, can you imagine if you were some kind of freak and were looking up "prison p_$$y" (sorry I shan't write that graphic word up here on my PG-16 blog) and then you were like, "Heyski! That'ski iski The Great Dubaski!" Oh you Ruskis.

That's all I got today. Thanks to my friend MWT for this.

My Last Wrestling Match at Cinnaminson High School

Upon googling my name the other day, I was very proud to see the real me, my pictures, my blog, my blog's facebook page - all in the first several pages of the results. However, on the second page I saw this: an underwhelming recap of final high school wrestling match ever. Just in case it ever gets pulled off the interwebs, I will copy and paste the story below:

Cinnaminson Stages Rally, But Falls Short To Cherokee

February 19, 1998|By Scott Brown, INQUIRER CORRESPONDENT

CINNAMINSON — Before last night's nonleague wrestling match with Cherokee, Cinnaminson honored recently retired coach Doug Cunningham, and it bid farewell to its seniors.
The senior-laden lineup almost delivered a dramatic win.
After falling behind by 26-15, Cinnaminson got a pair of close wins from Tim Robinson and Ryan Scarduzio, and senior Jim Robinson registered a quick pin at 215 pounds to draw the Pirates to within five points.
But Cherokee's Al Darrah controlled Shaun Fraser in the heavyweight bout on the way to a 4-1 decision, and the Chiefs held off the resilient Pirates, 35-27.

``I'm proud of the whole team. It was a total team effort,'' Cherokee coach Dave Chambers said after his team improved to 11-8. ``I knew coming in it was going to be a really tough match. He [Cinnaminson coach T.J. McStravick] has them really fired up.''
Looming large in the outcome was the 135-pound match, in which a potential 12-point swing occurred. Still fighting the effects of the flu, Cherokee's Mike Taylor was deposited on his back in the middle of the first period and spent the rest of the period locked in a Jim Duba cradle.
However, Duba had to settle for three back points when he couldn't get the pin. And in the second period, a rejuvenated Taylor took Duba down early and pinned him in just 41 seconds. Instead of taking a commanding 21-10 lead, the Pirates wound up on the short end of a 16-15 score.
The Chiefs also got a big win at 140 when Mike Watson edged Bill Hughes, 6-4. In the match, Hughes, who was filling in for Rob Kaczak (flu), let Watson escape three times. He yielded another point late in the match when he was hit with a stall.
Cinnaminson (10-5) stayed close through the light and middle weights thanks to pins by Sal Simonetti-Rayca (103) and Fred Barone (130). After Cherokee took control of the match with four consecutive victories, the Pirates rallied.
Tim Robinson held on for a 7-6 win over Josh Merlino at 160, and in perhaps the feature match of the night, Scarduzio took Jim Letchford down 33 seconds into the overtime period after the two had dueled to a 5-5 tie.
However, Doug Easlick pushed the Cherokee lead to 11 points with a pin at 189, and Darrah was never seriously threatened in the heavyweight bout after Jim Robinson's pin at 215 gave the Pirates a chance to send off their seniors in dramatic fashion.
The results
103: Sal Simonetti-Rayca (CI) pinned Steve Shaffer, 1:02. 112: Harry Morad (CH) pinned Greg Reymann, 5:40. 119: Wes Roach (CI) maj. dec. Matt DiMasi, 11-2. 125: Ted Seemuller (CI) dec. Dustin Roach, 4-2. 130: Fred Barone (CI) pinned Nick Altieri, 1:37. 135: Mike Taylor (CH) pinned Jim Duba, 2:41. 140: Mike Watson (CH) dec. Bill Hughes, 6-4.
145: Jon Pike (CH) maj. dec. Jon DiMasi, 18-10. 152: Chris Bryski (CH) dec. Chris Anderson, 12-6. 160: Tim Robinson (CI) dec. Josh Merlino, 7-6. 171: Ryan Scarduzio (CI) dec. Jim Letchford, 7-5 OT. 189: Doug Easlick (CH) pinned Chris Szetenderowicz, 1:50. 215: Jim Robinson (CI) pinned Brian Crane, 1:18. Hwt.: Al Darrah (CH) dec. Shaun Fraser, 4-1.

I wonder if I won that match if I would have been the story in the paper. I earned a 4 year varsity award for wrestling along with Ryan Scarduzio. We were the first recipients of that for a year or two. Ryan was pretty good. I wasn't. But I had the knowledge. My freshman year, I rarely won. My sophomore year, had a few scattered victories. Junior year, I tore my MCL on the first practice but came back in about 6-7 weeks. I had the infamous Duba Vs. Duda matchup. I also developed a major pain in my back that I tried to work through. Same in my senior year, but it was really bad then. I wore two back braces while I wrestled, plus my new brace, and I could barely walk on days I wasn't on the adrenaline rush of a wrestling match.

What else bothers me about this article is that the times I ever won a match, there was never an article about it, not even a sentence that included my name with other winners. In the record section for the newspaper, my wins always had my name spelled wrong: Kim Duba, Oim Duba, Dim Juba, Im Uba - for real? My picture was in the paper once or twice though. I did like that, but I don't think I have those clippings anymore.

When I had that kid in the cradle on his back, I looked over and saw the Cherokee coach throw his clipboard in the air in disgust. My home crowd was going BERSERK. I never experienced anything like that. I looked over at coach TJ who shrugged his shoulders like I had the pin and just to wait for it. I looked into the crowd and saw Coach Cunningham who was screaming for me to reposition, and score enough points. He made me feel like I could get a technical fall in the first period alone (scoring 15 points more than the opponent at any time). Possibly. However, due to my back, I couldn't pull or push this kid any way I wanted. I was stuck. If I let go, I surely would get painfully wallopped and embarassed.

I remember that was our second to last match for the season. I hadn't done too well, losing my spot several times to a sophomore. I had a team mentality, but unfortunately also a losing mentality. Coach TJ was trying to figure out what to do with the lineup, practically giving me a spot in districts since I was a senior, but I wanted what was best for the team. I approached coach and Ray (who was also the 135 lb wrestler who was beating me) and suggested I get to take the Cherokee match as my last match as a senior. I am not well enough to last a tournament. Ray is healthy and has a better shot. So, the deal was done, and I was pumped.

That one night has always been one of those legacy type memories to me that probably most everybody else forgets. I wish I had the strength back then that I have today. I wish my back felt back then how it feels now. I could've done things. The year started pretty good for me. Returning to the Varsity lineup as a last seed in a tournament. I demolished a kid in 45 seconds, then took the number one seed to the limit. He came up to me afterwards, told me that his match with me wore him out and he finished 3rd or 4th. I had also completed a wrestling camp at the Naval Academy that summer. But the back pain got worse and worse every day. I would fall out of bed just so I could get my feet on the ground.

I am not trying to make excuses for my wrestling career. It's just that if I had only that ONE win that ONE night, it would have all been worth it. It was still worth it, for the lessons coach Doug Cunningham taught me that I take with me still to this day. I don't seek glory. I get it through this blog. I just wish I had it on that one night. Oh well. I get some pretty good glory every day when I come home to my apartment where my family anxiously awaits my return.

Music for Weirdos - A Review of the New Album "Born Villain" by Marilyn Manson

For the longest time, I was a HUGE Marilyn Manson fan. Growing up and up until a few years ago I suffered severely from depression that put my mind through Hell. One thing that always cheered me and inspired me was the music of Marilyn Manson.

Say what??? Isn't he the reason those kids shot up Columbine? No, he was not the reason, nor do I feel that any of his music ever really calls for that.

What I went through I hid from EVERYBODY! However, once you got through the shocking tone lyrics and stylings of Marilyn Manson, I heard a man singing and screaming about being in his own pain and to stand up for myself and I was not alone.

Okay so the man wore assless chaps at the MTV Awards in 1996. Who didn't?

Chris Rock then so quotefully said "Get yo ass ta church!"

I found that performance to be very crazy and cool and was very happy to see that the band did not change who they were to be on MTV.

So, the last album of theirs (yes I refer to Marilyn Manson in the plural as that is the band, plus the frontman's name) I bought when I was halfway through my year of therapy. That album was called "The High End of Low." As I was becoming more self aware and positive, I listened closely to this album. What I heard was not what I was used to hearing from this band. I almost felt let down. Their last album had a different sound, but I just took it as a blip on the Manson radar. Nothing could compare to Holywood, Mechanical Animals, Antichrist Superstar, and Portrait of an American Family. Ever. But then I realized that what I heard was an evolution. I like when a band decides to evolve. It is usually to bad results though from the public. Nine Inch Nails did it the best, but only the hardcore fans appreciated it. Manson's evolution has been pretty good in my opinion, and this album continues the evolution.

The title is "Born Villain" - Mr. Manson, I believe it is time to stop labeling yourself as a scapegoat. I get the idea of the lyrics you have said as part of your "art" can be misconstrued by the media and made into the reason of some horrible tragedies. However, those people still have parents who should be looking out for their kids. My mom would not by my brother a Guns 'N Roses CD once because it had a song on it called "Back Off Bitch." However, the song Born Villain is one of the best done on the album. It could be a great entrance theme for a dark professional wrestler.

The music is not necessarily heavy like on Antichrist Superstar, but it is not weak like the last two albums. It is a little heavier rock than previous releases, where Manson tries to sing. Sometimes it sounds good, sometimes not, but I find that to be one of the things I like about their songs. It grows in me. The first four or five songs sound like a mishmash of music and attempts at singing. Each song has its bright spot, with the first single "No Reflection" being the best out of all of them. I actually have seen the video for "No Reflection" enough to enjoy the song completely.

One thing that Marilyn Manson was always good at, in my opinion, was using his play on words in the chorus of his songs. I know it's simple, but saying "I got an F and C and I got a K too and all I need is U" could have been created by anybody, but he said it first, and it is in a catchy part of that song. That type of song comes in on a track called "Pistol Whipped." Sounds like he is saying he gets beaten up by a girl because she is a pistol, and he is pistol whipped. Or maybe he does the beating. Either way, perhaps this song is a call for help. I would not doubt he gets beaten as I believe this is the same "shock rocker" who sued an exwife or exgirlfriend over custody of his cat.

Starting with a song called "Slo-Mo-Tion" the album and remaining songs sound more organized. His songs build up to heavier parts buffeted by some nice music/better singing.

All in all, not the best Marilyn Manson album ever. The band itself compares it to Mechanical Animals, the album critics point at as their greatest release ever. I am more of a fan of the Golden Age of Grotesque as their best album. This is in the upper half of best albums.

There is also a cover of "You're So Vain" featuring that creepy Johnny Depp. Where Depp comes in at on the song, I don't know. Thankfully I don't hear another actor trying to sing on this song. The song is probably the best cover he has done. Very well done and catchy.

If you are a big fan of this band, you should get this album. I am sure I will have it in my rotation for the next couple months, eventually it dropping off into the pile of "random shuffle". Then again, most music I have downloaded has done that. Very few bands stay as a "listen to at anytime" band for me. DevilDriver, Volbeat, Mushroomhead, Nine Inch Nails, and Marilyn Manson, in that order, usually are my go to bands. Stone Temple Pilots used to be number one, and believe me STP still rules. They just only have 6 albums compared to some of these other bands, and I have listened to them for almost twenty years. Jesum Crow, 20 years ago some of my favorite bands came out. This aging thing is getting scary now.

So, I am no music critic, and I realize how snarky a lot of what I wrote came across. I assume that you wouldn't have read this far if you didn't care about my words anyways. Afterall, not many people are a fan of this guy.

Stay tuned for a guest editorial from Dave "Parents Like A Sasquatch" Bell.