Well folks, this year's NFL playoffs has created quite an anomaly. For the first time ever, in American Sports, two coaches who are brothers will face off against each other. This much stronger than say the Manning brothers playing against each other. They don't play on the same side of the ball. It would be the equivalent of Tiki Barber's Giants playing against Ronde Barber's Buccaneers. Or on a lesser scale Brian Westbrook on the Eagles against his brother Byron Westbrook out of Washington D.C.
So to me the biggest storyline in this year's Super Bowl is that John and Jim Harbaugh will try to out think, out coach, out smart, out trick each other on the way to my favorite sport's greatest prize. They met once before on Thanksgiving last year, and the Ravens, coached by John, beat younger brother, Jim, and his 49ers. I will get to analyzing the actual game later, but I figured I would take a look at the greatest "brother vs. brother" moments in history.
First, when I think brother vs. brother, I must think about my own. I don't "feud" or "compete" with my brother in anyway, but here is a breakdown...
Age: Phil, 36. Jim, 32 (soon 33 this coming Saturday). Advantage - Phil
Number of Diaper Changes: Phil, at least 1. Jim, 0. Advantage - Phil
College Education: Phil, Masters. Jim, Masters. Advantage - Draw
Pets: Phil, 1 dog and 3 cats, previously one additional dog, and a lizard. Jim - None at the moment, however I have had the privilege of owning 5 hamsters. They all died though. Advantage - I guess a draw?
Height: Jim - 5'7" on a good day. Phil, at least 5'7.5". Advantage - Phil
Intelligence: Phil - had a job once where he couldn't tell me what he did, I still don't understand what he does, knows more about computers than I ever could. Jim - Scored slightly lower than Ryan Fitzpatrick on the Wunderlic test but higher than a chemical engineer, believed to be more street smart. Advantage - Draw
Strength: Phil - uses jar openers. Jim - Can press Phil's entire family over his head. Advantage - Jim
So, Phil wins three categories while I win one with three other draws. I feel we are evenly matched though.
Let us look back at the granddaddy of ALL brother vs. brother battles...
The United States Civil War
Residents of border states on both sides of the Mason Dixon line had to split their allegiance to either the north or the south, Union or Confederacy. The Mason Dixon line even traveled through some states. In this case, Maryland was divided. Captain William Goldsborough of the Confederacy captured his brother Charles and made him prisoner. Thanks Wikipedia! There is no detail provided on how this played out, but the close proximity of battle and perhaps seeing eye to eye with your enemy probably led to Charles' surrender in a peaceful manner.
Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart
Ah. A moment from my youth. The setting was Survivor Series, 1993. Jerry Lawler had been harassing the Hart family for almost a year by that point to the point all of Bret's younger brothers were involved and insulted. At SS, it was a 4 on 4 elimination match between the Hart Brothers and Shawn Michaels (filling in for an injured Lawler) and his three Knights. The Hart family survived, but not after Owen was eliminated. Bret was arguing with the ref on the side, and Owen begged his brother to stop. Shawn Michaels, then the sole survivor of his team, pushed Owen into Bret and rolled him up to eliminate him. When Bret made the final elimination, Owen did not come out and celebrate. Months later, Owen and Bret made up and fought for the tag titles against the Quebeccers. One of the worst teams ever. Bret "hurt" his knee, and Owen begged for a tag. Bret tried to win the match himself and was eventually pinned. Owen, with his brother prone on the ground, seemed to care about Bret's injury. Once Bret stood up, Owen kicked him in the back of the knee, thus making him the bad guy and abandoning his older brother. Bret later went on to tie as the Royal Rumble winner and advanced to a 2 title match main event in Wrestlemania. Bret won a coin toss to take the second and final match of the night, but first had to wrestle early on the card. His opponent, you guessed it, Frank Stallone! No, it was Owen. It was the best opening match in Wrestlemania history. Owen won, and even he was surprised by it. Later that night he watched his brother outlast the 500+ pound Yokozuna and become the new Champ. Owen went on to win the King of the Ring later that year and ultimately earned a shot at Bret at Summerslam for the championship in a steel cage. They fought tooth and nail, and Bret ultimately came out on top. By this point, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Bret/Owen's brother in law, came out on Owen's behalf. Bret started feuding with Bob Backlund, and they had a match at Survivor Series where the winner would be declared by the opponent's corner man throwing in the towel. Backlund had Owen in his corner, and Bret had his other brother in law, The British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith (complete with long hair and steroid muscles). Owen and Smith chased each other around for a while and Smith got knocked out. Backlund put Bret in the dreaded cross-face chicken wing submission, and nobody could throw in the towel. Owen, after seeing his brother in the hold for several minutes, pleaded with his mother at ringside to throw in the towel. Owen had tears for his brother by this point. His mother threw in Bret's towel and Bob Backlund, almost 20 years after his last title, was the new champion. Owen quickly turned his emotions around and taunted his brother and mother. I say Owen won the war, but he died a few years later and Bret is still alive. Winner - Bret.
Warrior
A movie about two MMA fighters who had different paths in life meeting in a promotional, amateur tournament. The one brother had a straight laced life, but fought on the side against his wife's wishes. The other was a supposed war hero, exmarine who had a bad reputation and a troubled life. When the Spartan tournament came to Atlantic City, both brothers signed up. They were in opposing brackets. Every opponent the exmarine faced, he beat the crap out of them. One guy was under a minute. He walked in, destroyed the guy, and left before the ref counted to 10. We later learned this guy was actually a war criminal of sorts as he abandoned his post, resulting in several people dying, but saved some other soldiers on his way out of battle. The marines supported him, but once this story broke it was known that he would be arrested by military police for several wrongs on his way out of the military. The older brother, however, had fought several tough matches throughout the tournament, even taking a machine of a fighter played by Kurt Angle in the semifinals. He winds up breaking his marine brother's arm, and begging him to stop fighting. The exmarine did not back down, and eventually the older brother won. Great movie that I did not do justice.
Baldwin Brothers
A certainly notable acting family royalty, the 4 active brothers include Alec, Daniel, William (Billy) Baldwin, and Stephen Baldin, in order of age. Alec has certainly had the most success, still on TV to this day and pumping out movies. He is certainly the more recognizable brother. Steven is a skateboarding Jesus preacher. Daniel had a longstanding role in the show "Homicide" and several smaller budget movies. Billy had steamy roles with Cindy Crawford and Sharon Stone in the 1990s. I have heard all the brothers Baldwin on Howard Stern in the past, and Alec, despite being in the news lately more for negative stuff than his ongoing film career, still stands out among the best, to me.
Cain and Abel
The two sons of Adam and Eve. We all know that Eve went and screwed up the world by eating some apple, but their sons showed the worst side of humanity. Cain was a crop farmer and Abel was a shepherd. For whatever reason, Cain killed his brother. This made Cain the first murderer and Abel the first person to ever die. It is believed Cain was jealous of his brother's perceived favoritism from God, so he killed him. If I understand the Wikipedia entry, Cain was cast by God to roam the Earth, and never could be murdered, suffering until the day he died.
Kane and Undertaker
Another WWF reference, it was a huge story in the late 90's. Paul Bearer had gone on and on about how terrible the Undertaker was. It came to be revealed that the Undertaker had a brother, Kane, who everybody thought died in a fire caused by the Undertaker. At this point, the Undertaker started wearing a tear drop under his eye. Bearer kept telling Taker he had his brother and was the only father figure to him ever. Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker were set to battle in a Hell in a Cell for the first time, and midway through the match, Kane was revealed as a big read suited, masked monster. He ripped the door off the steel structure and attacked Undertaker, costing him the match. This culminated in several more attacks in the future and ultimately a match at the next year's Wrestlemania. The Undertaker won. They have faced each other three times, I believe, at Wrestlemania, and Undertaker has won all 3. They have a convoluted history of fighting and teaming up together. Ultimately I think they are now friends again, despite the Undertaker killing his real father, Paul Bearer, and Kane burying Undertaker alive one year. Crazy.
So, ponder these extreme circumstances of brothers fighting brothers in the history of humanity and entertainment. We get both this coming Sunday, February 3.
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