Holy Smokes!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, animals - blessed and non-blessed, a new pope has been selected! This is a once in a life-time moment and it is an honor to have lived to see......wait a cotton pickin minute here! Didn't we just do this 8 years ago? And they elected Pope Benedict over all the other possible popes? I must say, it is refreshing to have an election not smeared with garbage claims from one opponent to the next. 

Did you get my "benedict over" joke?

I'm not going to lie. I don't know much about the pope. I know that bald Irish ladies do not like him.

I also know many people are clamoring for a black pope. There has only really ever been one official black pope, and he sucked.

Not a wrestling fan? How about this...

I do know that the pope is the longest reigning ruler of anything ever. That's pretty impressive and the Catholic Church certainly has been around since man first accidentally killed their savior. Good thing they found a leader before shit started getting real.

In all seriousness I get the idea of the pope. The pope is seen as the successor to Saint Peter, who Jesus dubbed as the shepherd for God's people (the sheep). So in the wake of the death of Jesus those who believed he was the son of God needed that man to pull them all together, hence the pope. Everybody needs a leader.

So I remember Pope John Paul Johns from my growing up years to his death when I was 25. The new pope retired which I think is an odd way to leave the seat. Even as John Paul was near death, he was still the pope. I did some research on the election process. The group of Cardinals ascend to the Sistine Chapel and go into a "sequestered meeting" that is known as the "conclave." To quote Wikipedia on the meaning of conclave...

so called because the cardinal electors are theoretically locked in, cum clave, i.e., with key, until they elect a new pope

So, the cardinals all vote on who they think will best represent God. They put their nominees in an envelope and seal it shut. The MC Cardinal reads the votes, and if one is not selected with a 2/3 majority vote, the votes are thrown into a fire along with some chemical to make black smoke (keep in mind they used to use wet straw before the Church made it okay to believe in science), signaling no agreement on a pope.

However, once an agreement can be made on a single pope, the votes are burned alone, and that is what happened a few short hours ago. The name has not been announced yet, but soon, somebody will be known.

Soon the "Senior Cardinal Deacon" will announce from a balcony presiding over Saint Peter's Square, "Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum! Habemus Papam!" Which I do believe is followed by the new man walking out and declaring "Ima da freakin pope!"

Fun Pope Facts:

• Nobody over 80 is considered.
• Pope is derived from the Greek word πάππας - Father
• The pope gets to choose his own pope name. Rejected pope names include: Pope Unarope, Pope Adope, Pope Ularahpinion, Pope Yulation, Pope Ingcherries

That wraps it up. I am glad the pope is elected so I can stop hearing people talk about it, and why the smoke is black or white. I just told you why. Now let's focus back on to the Free Agency Frenzy of the NFL! Boom!