FAT Tuesday Preview

Other than opening weekend of the NFL, Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, Christmas, ultrasound's of my future son, any event with my current son, quiet moments with Kim, epic days with my friends, moving day, fantasy football draft day, the impending birthdate for my son, the day Game of Thrones resumes, sporting games/practices for Rocco, and Saturdays, the Tuesday that opens up NFL Free Agency is my favorite day of the year.  It is the longest running traditional column I have on my blog. See how right or most likely wrong I was in the past: 2012 and 2013.

Yeah, I know FAT stands for Free Agent Tuesday, and I essentially declare it Free Agent Tuesday Tuesday. We here at The Great Jim Duba don't care.
 

Last year was kind of dismal for free agent talent, and I only really got one of the non-obvious choices right. It's tough to predict, and last year I tried to look at a positions breakdown. I will go with the NFL's supposed list of the top 101 free agents and get the top few from each major position group.

QBs

Michael Vick: The pride of the Virginia prison system has done all he can in Philadelphia. I honestly enjoyed his time there, but much like I had to do with my butt doctor, it's time to break up. Rumor has it the Bills are interested along with possible landing spots in Oakland, Jets, and Texans. Okay, Texans are a no, and so are the Bills. He will not be a bandaid, but rather a bridge to the next guy. New York Jets, welcome to the circus.

Josh McCown: Dude is old and has proved that keeping a quality backup healthy is key to a team's continued success. He combined with Jay Cutler last year to be the third best fantasy quarterback in all the NFL. He can't expect much, but perhaps be the backup at a team that may be going somewhere. Know where he should go to ride into the sunset? Green Bay. Otherwise, perhaps a team in the AFC South can use him as a backup. Any one of them.

Josh Freeman: The single worst game I've ever watched in all my years of football involved the Freeman led Vikings vs the Giants this past year on Monday Night Football. He had a concussion, and the integrity of the entire Vikings team was questioned. I think if he gets a fresh start, he could be quite a player. Perhaps he's the type of player the Houston Texans can use. He's still young enough. He's still got a modicum of skills. He again could go to a team like Houston or Tennessee.

Matt Flynn: He is better served to stick with what brought him to the dance. Just stay the course and enjoy the ride in Green Bay. Spare us the debate and flashback to 2010.

RBs

LeGarrette Blount: So this guy punched his way to getting an overblown contract somewhere. He probably wants starter money, but is better served to be a backup. Just going on a limb, but I can point him to the welcome mat in Cleveland. Other options could be in Arizona to be the pounder that Andre Ellington won't be.

Ahmad Bradshaw: Just give it up man. You already had the gayest game winning touchdown in a Super Bowl ever. You risk serious injury every year. Please, you are a great tough running back, please take the lead of Rashard Mendenhall. He's not coming back.

Andre Brown: He could be the starter in New York. He could stay there and be the bridge to the next back the Giants integrate. He could go on to a backup elsewhere though. I think he should stay in New York.

Maurice Jones-Drew: MJD wanted for years to be paid more by Jacksonville. His wish has led to him most likely getting a pittance. He could have a Reggie Bush resurgence, so he needs to go to a place that would mix him in enough. New England, Miami, Giants, Carolina, Atlanta could be good spots. Perhaps the Saints have something up their sleeves. But keep those teams in mind.

Chris Johnson: They been trying to trade him, but to no avail. He will let his once amazingly promising career go into the fog. Cleveland, Atlanta, Washington, and Oakland could use a cheeky player like him.

Ben Tate: The obvious choice has been for him to go to Cleveland. I honestly have a worry that he goes to the Giants and can begin a rather good run, no pun intended. He unfortunately didn't have the year he was hoping to have in a contract year, but his whole team blew. I bet he is the first big name guy taken tomorrow.

Darren Sproles: Wow, where does he go now? He really hasn't proven himself over the past two years. Somebody who wants to use him as a third down back and not as a receiver could probably get more use out of him. That could include Houston, Denver. Either way, he's one of those guys people would be wanting on his team, but disappointed at the outcome. He may be the 2014 version of the 2011 Ronnie Brown.

WRs

Jason Avant: He will land somewhere and be productive/a contributor. I just threw him in here because he's my favorite Eagle behind Brian Dawkins and Correll Buckholder. Best of luck, Jason Avant.

 

Kenny Britt: He got arrested 8 times in 18 months. Suspended four games. He has so many bridges burnt to the ground. I love his talent, so hopefully he lands in a spot to showcase his worth. Detroit? Cleveland, New England, Jets, Bills, Washington could all use a receiver of his talent, and Britt could use a fresh start.

Eric Decker: The speculation he goes to the Colts to be the next big thing. I've heard and read him as being one of the guys who will be paid too much and do too little. Debated whether or not he was a good signing. He should go to the Colts, or any other dome team. That's why I can see Decker sneaking onto a team like the Texans

Julian Edelman: A guy who may only be good in the system that made us know his name. I can see some craziness like the Eagles trading Desean and Edelman becoming an Eagle. Or, a team like Detroit and San Diego can use him, and the dash and dash splash of Edelman and Danny Woodhead can thrive. And get halved.

Hakeem Nicks: The consensus is Carolina. But if they want to give up on Steve Smith, why would they take Nicks? Seattle could use him if they lose Sidney Rice and Golden Tate. He won't be asked to do much, and neither was Tate. There you go.

Dexter McCluster: I once had a fantasy team named "The McClusterfucks." Meh. He is whatever. I don't really care. The dude had the chance to make some talent, and he could be gobbled up by a team like New Orleans or Tampa. Even Carolina could use a guy like him, just to be different.

TEs

Scott Chandler: Yeah where's he going. Buffalo would be stupid to let him go. He'll back for two more years in a Bills uniform.

Ed Dickson: He needs to perhaps go somewhere under the radar. Much like he is. I can't really figure out where he could or should go. The Ravens don't need him any more. Does he block? I don't know. He's okay talent at best. Maybe he goes to Miami to fill in for Dustin Keller. Yeah. Why not. Have fun in the sun, with a team that just can't win.

Jermichael Finley: Another guy who should heed the doctor's warning. He had such a cringe-inducing year. His injuries were scary to watch, and if you are human, you felt awful watching him. The more I think about Finley, I believe he needs to follow the Rashard Mendenhall approach. That guy may have just about had it right. That said, he will go somewhere like the Jets or Bills where they will need his skill level at a low cost.

Jimmy Graham: He's franchised, but some teams would possibly desire him enough to give up the proper picks needed to make their team instantly better. He needs to go elsewhere, cause another storm is brewing in New Orleans that will only affect 53 people. I think he stays, but he'd be better off going elsewhere.

OLine

Branden Albert: Now I'm not getting too particular because I don't know enough, but some teams need O-line help, like the Falcons, Dolphins, Colts.

Michael Oher: The Blindside star is now a run of the mill guy, but he could probably go to one of those teams or a team with an established line and be a depth player. Maybe Denver could use his services.

Guy Whimper: I know nothing about him, except his name caught my eye. Guy Whimper. Sounds like a player eligible to play on the Cowboys.

Defense

Jared Allen (DE): A guy who wears the number 69 because he was probably that cool kid in high school who got to pick his number first. Tail end of career, could pump some life and leadership into a defense needing that extra cog. He should go to a team that could use him wisely and preserve him. The Jaguars, Titans, Cardinals, Patriots, Broncos could use a guy like him.

Lamarr Houston (DE): Don't know much about him except hearing analysts say, "How will offensive player X handle Lamar Houston?" Same consequences for Jared Allen, but much younger. I'll take him in Philadelphia, but I don't think that's his style defense. He should go get in the mix in Kansas City as their main players spent too much time in the trainer room.

John Beason (ILB): A guy who made the Giants defense much better last year. He will go to a team that promises him the moon. Brandon Spikes is out in New England, perhaps that's his landing spot.

Karlos Dansby: I don't know. Maybe stick with the Cardinals?

London Fletcher: He belongs in Washington if he wants to be known as the guy of utmost integrity. I hate the Redskins, but have no problem with London Fletcher. Why did I include defensive players?

Brandon Spikes: Yeah I really don't know what more to do say or write about now. He seemingly had some kind of falling out with the Patriots. Maybe go to a team that needs help stopping the run while also rebuilding. Maybe the Titans.

Champ Bailey (CB): Maybe he goes full circle and comes back to Washington. They don't have that first pick in the draft and can get him cheap to be a senior presence in a secondary that blows.

Antonio Cromartie: A bad year can mean the end of your career in the NFL. Belichek hates Rex Ryan, so don't put it past him to pick up Cromartie. Otherwise, Cleveland, Denver, Chicago, Miami, or the Colts could use his services.

Vontae Davis: He's that bug-eyed guy who needed to call his Grandma in Hard Knocks two years ago. I don't care where he goes.

Captain Munnerlyn: Don't know much about him except he held Rob Gronkowski when the Panthers beat the Patriots on Monday Night Football. Whatever, wherever.

Asante Samuel: Brandon always said he looks like a drag queen. To Wong Fu, go fist yourself.

Alterraun Verner: He is one of the reasons the Titans secondary wasn't half bad. He can go to a middling or worse team, maybe one of those teams missing another piece to be a more dominant defense. Maybe Carolina, Rams, or the Lions.

Antoine Bethea (S): He's old, right? I don't know. Maybe he will go to somewhere I don't care about.

Jairus Byrd: The prize safety. I hope the Eagles get him. Although then every idiot who calls into sports radio would continue to call him Jarius. It's Jairus. I hope he is the start of something great. I feel they will screw it up, and Byrd will fly away to more championship ready teams like Denver. He will be going more for wins and little money than being rich and on a sucky team.

James Ihedigbo: Isn't like Chris Kluwe? He wrote to a senator about gay rights, and was asked to stop. He is an okay player, and could be a bridge or bandaid player.

T.J. Ward: The runner up to the Jairus Byrd contest. Just stay in Cleveland, dude. Your defense kept you in games.

Donte Whitner. Hitner! Supposedly the Niners want to keep him there. I would take him, but he isn't getting younger.

Special Guys

Devin Hester: I will never forget the first play of the Super Bowl he was in and took the first one all the way. I would love him on the Eagles, especially if it is true Desean Jackson may be traded. the Bills could use him to since they will be losing Byrd.

Phil Dawson (K): He replaced Akers, and I'm sure he's not the reason why they lost the NFC title game. He should stay. If he leaves, that opens the door for Billy "I suck the life out of life" Cundiff.

Adam Vinatieri (K): Just stay the course man. You get 10 games in a dome next year. Every kicker's dream.

Steven Hauschka (K): Don't take a lot of money. Just stay. You're on the Super Bowl Championship winning team. Why leave? They didn't win because of you or in spite of you.

Donnie Jones (P): I just hope the Eagles keep him. He was the best punter since Sav Rocca.

Sav Rocca (P): Please come back to the Eagles.

Whew. That was long. I'm all fagged out.

Best of luck, Jason Avant. Thanks for the memories.