Party Review - Baby Friend's 2 Years Old!

Well folks, another month, another friggin' birthday party. It is just a warm up to the months of March through July where everybody I know was born. EVERYBODY. Way to go, parents. Why does nobody consider how feel about these things?

Anywho, Yesterday was the birthday of my best baby friend - Starling Winter Barrett. Without further aduba, I present to you the

The Starling Barrett Second Annual Grand Invitational

Location: Mandon Barretts House in Dirty Shade, New Jersey.

Time: Despite the invitation saying 6 p.m. to 4 a.m., we arrived early at 4 p.m. I instantly noticed that nobody else was there. Kim starts to get a case of steam out the ears as she tells me she was really hungry. At this point we see Brandon walk out of the house. She tells me to say hi to him but I stay perfectly still - like avoiding eye contact with a mountain lion while lost on a, uh, mountain. We eventually hit up the mall and returned at 6:08. Plenty of people were there then. However, parking was ample.

Arts and Crafts - Despite the first party of the year having arts and crafts, the party hosts clearly missed this opportunity to capitalize on such an activity's popularity. Zero points were awarded for this category.

Fake Kitchen Toys Review - However, a new category that I considered after the first party of the year, was phenomenally done. Rocco proceeded to make me a fake egg soufle, cupcakes, pizza (although this was a dog toy he insisted on playing with). Well done. Also, the bonus treasure of cold war toys entertained the masses.

Guests - Although they are known to scare children, both Bach and Dach were there, the Barrett family and extended family, Uncle Slade and his girl Misty, Mrs. Landis and Baby AJ, Mr. and Mrs. Puddin' and baby Puddin', Nick, Thea, Jay and Tiff and his kids, a couple other people I don't know and their kids. If I forgot you, that is because you are forgettable. Just kidding. Or am I? Muwhahahahahahahahahahaha

Food - I told Brandon earlier in the week that the doctor ordered me recently to not eat vegetables. So, what does he have sitting on top of his mozzorella cheese? Tomatoes! Oh, you say that is a fruit? Well guess what Einsteins...I cannot eat those either. Regardless, it was delicious. I highly enjoyed the cheesesteak stromboli and chicken. Indeed, it was your best culinary creation. Sorry Mandi, I did not get to try other items due to doctor orders.

Movies in the background - Beauty and the Beast, followed by the Little Mermaid kept Rocco's attention throughout the evening. If you have not noticed, I judge parties on how full I get and how entertained Rocco is.

Room Temperature - Just when I started to feel a little warm, Brandon's internal thermostat kicked in and he turned on thee ceiling fan to cool down the main sittin' room. Excellent use of resources.

Party Parting Bag - Meh. Mostly kid toys. Not enough consideration of the adults in said party bag. Only one peanut butter cup? For shame. I had to lie to Rocco that there was not a peanut butter cup in there to begin with! Thanks for making me a liar, guys.

All in all, I will give this party a 9.5 out of 10. Nothing is ever perfect, so do not get offended. If the party was down the street and in September, maybe that would be a different story. However, I consider the Barretts a second family and thus they treat me as their own. I am proud to be Starling's Uncle DuDu. I know I will always get a good meal at Mandon's house, be entertained, and all around have a good time.

So, there was a lot of sarcasm in there and this review was all in good fun. I love getting together with my friends and bringing my family along with me. Thanks for the good times, Mandi and Brandon.

Duba, out!