10. "Beast Mode" - The most overused phrase I have ever heard last year. Marshawn Lynch earned that nickname because he revived his season by playing better in the second half of the season then the first half, and he looks like a beast. Just because you go to the gym and yell during your set work does not make it "beast mode". In fact, if you are an average Joe, you have probably never done anything in "beast mode" spare for Halloween when you were a kid. The phrase beast mode is just one more horrendous thing associated with football that the Seattle Seahawks have brought the world.
9. Anything that Supports George W. Bush - I see so many things that people put on the internets who strongly support George Bush, making him out to be a saint and Obama to be a buffoon, all in the name of patriotism. I did not like George Bush, but I do not make it my life's goal to put him down forever. The same people who post things that declare Obama to be doing illegal things are also those who act like Bush almost solved all the world's problems but he ran out of time. You think that makes you a Patriot? You voted, you lost, and you have to deal with it. Accepting that way of democracy is more patriotic.
8. Lindsay Lohan News - Yes, she is a mess, and that is no longer news to me. Oh really? A human mess is being difficult to work with on the set of a made for TV movie? In other news, the world may be round.
7. Zombie Apocalypse - This is not real. I cannot believe I had to type this. Anybody who thinks they could survive such an event is wrong. Jason Babin of the Philadelphia Eagles is going to run with the bulls in Spain in July. An event that many people think he may get hurt during, thus jeopardizing his football career and the Eagles' season. He thinks because he owns a bull and has watched tapes of bull runs he will be fine. I can watch and take notes on the movie Zombieland but I am pretty sure I will trip over something eventually or run into another zombie if I am fleeing from one. You cannot survive an end of the world scenario.
6. Text Speak - ROFL. LMAO, LMFAO, SMH, SMDH, CTFU, STFU, LOL, BRB, HIV - Okay that last one is a legit term, one of these terms is the name of a party rap group, and one of them I do not know the meaning of. Why and when do people text like this? Something happened in the drinking water 5-10 years after I was born that brought everybody's brain cells to a reduced size. I have never in my life tried to write like this. Mostly this applies to men who text or post on facebook. It is a cutesy thing for girls to do, but really odd to me for a man to write like that. The only exception to this rule is if Dave Bell himself typed it, as I can actually hear his laugh in head. Knock it off, young people. I will leave the country the day I see a tweet from a president that says "Iran just won't stop w nukes! There goes the neighborhood. SMDH"
5. People who leave sporting events early - I am very fortunate to get to go to one or two games of anything a year. I struggle to pay everything I pay for, but I get by. I afford myself very few luxuries at all in life. Maybe my own fault, but I would rather save money toward my future so I cannot repeat the past mistakes I have made. However, in the rare instance I get to attend a baseball, football, or hockey game, I cannot think of any instance where I would want to leave. I have left games before, but not because of my own desire, but rather at the will of the person I traveled with to get there. I rarely drive to these events, so I am kind of shit out of luck. I went 30+ years without ever having gone to an Eagles game, and when I did, I saw people leaving early. If you didn't intend to stay, perhaps you could have called me sooner to give me your ticket.
4. People who park diagonally - I saw a guy with a bumper sticker on a Honda Civic that said "I park diagonally in a parallel universe". No, you park diagonally because you are an asshole. The only person who can park diagonally and not be a douche about it is somebody who drives a smart car
3. Similar reality shows on different channels - How many storage unit reality shows must there be? How many pawn shop shows? Who actually sets aside time to watch these shows? Good news to fans who are SICK of the antics of Dog the Bounty Hunter...because Al Roker will bring us a new breed of bounty hunter. Hooray for TLC, discovery, A&E, and so on, and so forth.
2. New York License Plated-Cars - You cannot drive for shit, and I have been over it before. Is there no speedometer in their cars? I seriously will never understand their ability to go 40 to 80 mph to 40 mph in the span of 10 miles at a time on NJ interstates. You tail gate and then get right in front of normal people, only to stop to a ridiculously low speed again. Assholes.
1. #, Hashtag - I do not understand this. What the hell does it mean when you put # in front of something. It has been explained to me before, but obviously not well. When you apply the #, are you trying to start a trend with your shitty thoughts? Everything now, combined with the ROTFL, SMDH CTFUs and associated # has created a new language that I cannot nor will ever try and want to understand.
Okay. This all seemed much better in my head. Not my best work, but thats the way it goes sometimes. Hopefully I can have a better idea soon. 5 straight months of blogging, and I think I hit a wall. I need a 1 day break.
4. People who park diagonally - I saw a guy with a bumper sticker on a Honda Civic that said "I park diagonally in a parallel universe". No, you park diagonally because you are an asshole. The only person who can park diagonally and not be a douche about it is somebody who drives a smart car
3. Similar reality shows on different channels - How many storage unit reality shows must there be? How many pawn shop shows? Who actually sets aside time to watch these shows? Good news to fans who are SICK of the antics of Dog the Bounty Hunter...because Al Roker will bring us a new breed of bounty hunter. Hooray for TLC, discovery, A&E, and so on, and so forth.
2. New York License Plated-Cars - You cannot drive for shit, and I have been over it before. Is there no speedometer in their cars? I seriously will never understand their ability to go 40 to 80 mph to 40 mph in the span of 10 miles at a time on NJ interstates. You tail gate and then get right in front of normal people, only to stop to a ridiculously low speed again. Assholes.
1. #, Hashtag - I do not understand this. What the hell does it mean when you put # in front of something. It has been explained to me before, but obviously not well. When you apply the #, are you trying to start a trend with your shitty thoughts? Everything now, combined with the ROTFL, SMDH CTFUs and associated # has created a new language that I cannot nor will ever try and want to understand.
Okay. This all seemed much better in my head. Not my best work, but thats the way it goes sometimes. Hopefully I can have a better idea soon. 5 straight months of blogging, and I think I hit a wall. I need a 1 day break.
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