100th Blog Entry Spectaculum!! My Weakness - Fantasy Football

I have only really been a football fan kind of recently in my life. 10 years or just a little more. I only really knew Donovan McNabb as my quarterback and Andy Reid as my coach. I could watch any Eagles game, get excited for it, and maybe, just maybe, watch one of the other games on Sunday. As time went on it became more and more of a priority for me. Now, I research it all year long, read about it, listen to podcasts, and can recall many wins-losses from the past several years, mostly for the Eagles. However, through the blessed creation that is Fantasy Football, I have learned to love the game as a whole, plus my favorite team.

 

What better way to celebrate 100 total blogposts in 9 months than with the topic that will probably dominate this blog for the rest of the year (Dublog Reminder - Tune in on Friday for an all new "Flipping the Bird").

 

What entails is a tribute to my favorite thing second only to my family - Football and its child known as Fantasy Football. Please join me as I show you how I was once great, then humbled, and now ravenous for another title.

 

The Beginning...

My friend Brian asked me if I wanted to play in a fantasy football league in 2004. I never really knew much about football other than I rooted for the Eagles. My first team, The Pickers (an ode to the old blue collar black working man by Lynyrd Skynyrd's "The Ballad of Curtis Lowe") finished the season at 6-7. I was the 6th seed actually out of 10 total teams, 8 playoff teams. The league was so bad I won my first two rounds of playoffs by scores of 64-48 and 62-30. I was up against the 11-2, first seed who averaged 110+ points in the playoffs. I simply beat him 121-103 and won my first fantasy football championship.

 

The following year, I had moved out of my then in-laws house and into my home, where I had no internet access except at work. I finished the season with a staggering 13-1 record and 1048 points, almost 100 more than the second highest scorer. I remember one game I already had it all clinched and I rested my starters for my only loss of the season. I lost by 3 goddamn points in the first round of the playoffs and settled for third place. Okay, I got a little cocky there.

 

In 2006 I finished with a middling 7-6 record, good enough for the 5th seed in the playoffs. I breezed through it all, eventually changing my team name to just DUBA and secured a dazzling 2 point victory of Nigradomus in the finals. In 2007, I went 8-4-1 and had the only tie I can ever recall in fantasy football. Until the playoffs. I came in as the 3 seed. I dispatched of the first round opponent handedly, but then in the second round only scored 50 points. However, my opponent only scored 50 as well. Yahoo did its own coin flip, and once again Duba prevailed. It was my team Brocktoon, led by Derek Anderson, taking on Brian in the finals. Sho'nuff, a 64-30 drubbing secured my 4th place finish in 4 years, 3 championships in 4 years run. I returned to the league in 2008 only to finish 8th out of 12. Perhaps that many teams was too much for me to handle. I named my team something racist like an asshole. I started hanging out with Brandon again and became a member of his league. I picked Tom Brady as my first overall and he proceeded to tear his knee ligaments. Thus my season was over before it could start.

 

The middle...

Between the 2008 and 2009 seasons, my life changed. I got divorced and as such divorced myself from all things associated with that part of my life. I reconnected with my friends who mostly accepted me back with open arms. It was pleasant. It also renewed my passion for football again despite the rough year I had experienced. 2009 presented a new league to me that Brandon and some of my older friends and people I never met before were playing in. I think it was an ESPN league run by Scott and Tim that featured two quarterbacks to start. I remember the league was divided into two divisions. However, my division was the lamest as no record was better than 6-7. The other division had all winning records. Unfortunately, since Scott set up divisions, he needed at least the division winner for the shit division to be in the playoffs. The division winner? You guessed it - moi. I proceeded to bump Brandon from the playoffs that he dominated the year before. I cannot recall how everything else went, but I made it to the finals and was projected to lose to Tim in the Super Bowl. Brandon gave me a heads up that day that he dropped Adrian Peterson, whom I promptly scooped up. I proceeded to blow out Tim in the finals. Fact of the matter is, without AP's contributions, I would've still won by I think 10 points. This victory was great and helped me have some money to buy the new lovely lady in my life a little gift for Christmas. I think one player refused to pay me because I beat him in the first round. Thems the breaks, kid.

 

After much discussion with former league participants, I decided to head up the league. Brandon and I decided that there is no way in Hell another team with a losing record should win a championship. Hence, the birth of the Duba Invitational. I took the league to the NFL's website, set it up for perhaps 10 or 12 teams, that I cannot recall. The 2010 Duba Invitational saw me struggle as I tried to make move after move to bolster my lineup, only to ultimately give up future great players. I cannot recall how I fared, but I did have to change my team name to the Homo Squad and I didn't even make the playoffs. I had Vick as my quarterback then, but still couldn't get the job done.

 

However, I fared much better back in Yahoo land. I was in my first ever office league at work and was an outsider joining in with Dave Bell and his band of misfits. The Bell league had individual defensive players, and I faired well. I took second place overall as the team Bulk Hogan thanks to the breakout performances of Vick, Desean Jackson, and Peyton Hillis. It was my first ever 16 team, 4 division league, and I loved it. In my office league, I was hovering in 10th place for the beginning of the season. On October 6th of that year, I posted a message saying "Man am I horrible." Simply stated. So I renamed my team "Bunch of Sissies" and changed my team picture to that of me dressed as Snooki for Halloween. What followed was an 8 straight win-streak to vault me into first place, a first round bye, and the inevitable date with another fantasy championship.

 

However, that's where it has all ended. In 6 years of fantasy football, I racked up 5 championships (4 Yahoo, one ESPN), and one second and third place finish each. Last year, things drastically went downhill. The office league had 10 bench spots, which was one more total spots than the active roster had. I was beset by injuries and worked up such a negative kharma through my egotistical mocking of opponents that I couldn't even trade Mathew Stafford for a RB3. It was awful. I finished 8 out 10 and was morally down. Until the 2011 Duba Invitational unfolded and I was down yet again. It was due to a loss at the mighty hands of future AFC Championship Game Goat Billy Cundiff. Had he not kicked an extra point I would have beat Rich Song and perhaps been 7-6 and made the playoffs. Rather, once again in Yahoo and ultimately bringing down my rating, I finished 7th out of 16. I finished ahead of Mandi at least but unfortunately behind Horn.

 

THE NOW!

So it is a new football year, starting tonight. I have three teams. One, is the 2012 Duba Invitational held on CBS' website with the same 16 team, 4 division format. I have already brought up our draft party, but perhaps I should detail my team as it stands, heading into Week 1 ready for Battle against the evil Christopher "The Joe" Kerr:

 

Team Name: Steve Breastonlargement

QB - Drew Brees, Russel Wilson (BN)

RB - Fred Jackson, Kevin Smith, Willis McGahee (Flex), Ryan Williams (BN), Ben Tate (BN)

WR - Torrey Smith, Percy Harvin, Jeremy Maclin (BN), Greg Little (BN)

TE - Jermaine Gresham

DST - Broncos

K - Nate Kaeding (who was also on my first ever championship team 8 years ago, as was Drew Brees).

 

I am happy with this team compared to most of the teams in the league. I just dumped off Frank Gore for Willis McGahee and believe I am set albeit for that one super gem of a wide receiver. I hope they pan out and Torrey Smith lives up the hype. We shall see as I play against Jay Cutler and Matt Forte hosting the Colts.

 

I have rejoined the office league after debating if I wanted to do more than one team again this year. Being a commissioner of my league and writing weekly recaps is time consuming enough, let alone another team to mess with and taunt other players. Please keep in mind that the "Duba Rule" is in effect - $1 owed per add/drop as the year I won I made 52 total moves. I payed close to that last year. Anywho, as far as the draft goes, I got in I think in the middle of round 6. I promptly typed "Suck it bitches" in the chat and took Hernandez, Rivers, Wilson, and Blackmon. As such, I autodrafted the majority of my team with the number three spot and here is my so called lineup for Week 1:

 

Team Name: Medulla Amendola

QB - Philip Rivers, Russel Wilson (BN)

RB - Lesean McCoy, Fred Jackson, Stevan Ridley (Flex), Marshawn Lynch (BN), Ben Tate (BN)

WR - Greg Jennings, Steve Smith (the good one), Justin Blackmon (BN), Kenny Britt (BN), Danny Amendola (BN - I had to have him)

TE - Aaron Hernandez

DST - Lions

K - Alex Henery

 

I am trying to ship off Rivers and Lynch for Tom Brady to somebody with NO running backs. Just trying to be a good man.

 

And finally, my third and final team is a first for me. Despite a desperate plea for worldwide attention and the quick death of the The Great Jim Duba Intercontinental Invitational Fantasy Football Championship Challenge, I opted to represent my entire blog and its supporters/fans with a randomly drafted team in a random NFL.com league to test my might against total strangers. Unfamiliar players in a league have netted me 4 championships every time I joined something new. Let us hope for the sake of this blog and my faithful audience from Russia to Hong Kong, Sweden to Senegal, that I am victorious. My team is as follows:

 

Team Name: The Great Jim Duba

QB - Peyton Manning, Jay Cutler (BN), Russel Wilson (BN)

RB - Arian Foster, Trent Richardson, Peyton Hillis (BN)

WR - Jordy Nelson, Justin Blackmon, Greg Jennings (BN), Percy Harvin (BN)

TE - Antonio Gates, Dustin Keller (BN)

DST - Eagles

K - Akers

 

I fear I may be playing my bench spots wrong this week for this team, but I will do my best to figure it out before Sunday.

 

I have moderately good spirits about this year. I feel like in the Duba Invitational league I drafted an injury free team and was able to get rid of my garbage before I hated myself for having them. I don't like Frank Gore. He has no sizzle. I understand he can be productive, but I want productive with that possible home run too. Therefore the McGahee trade and my pursuit of Fred Jackson. I think I could certainly have done a little better at wide receiver as I think Julio Jones or Roddy White was there for me in the second round, but alas I skipped for Jackson I believe. I do like Harvin, a lot, but I fear Maclin may disappear at times. 16 team leagues are tough, especially when you draft in week 1 of the preseason and many other team's starters go down with nagging injuries. I stand atop a perch with a couple other teams that are unaffected and I think I stand to do something never done in the three year history of the Duba Invitational - Win my own Trophy.

 

The office league will be tough this year with 3 total new players, all who seem to have some major fantasy football sense. Our first timer and recent new hire Chris was number 1 pick plus was awarded the Yahoo Kiss of Death, I mean "Best Draft" award. I was around his age when I first joined Fantasy football so hopefully that helps me bring back that youthful energy I once displayed in earlier Yahoo league victories.

 

The Great Jim Duba, well, only time will tell. When you put the words "The Great" in front of your name, you better do something about it. I think a middle of the standings performance and then rolling into the playoffs is a safe bet for this team. If Peyton Manning stays healthy, I have a lot of trade bait on my team.

 

There you have it. My entire fantasy football career, starting off great, then fizzling quicker than a Russian protest.