Duba Awkward Moments

So, I saw an Asian guy at the gym this morning wearing an all yellow outfit. Naturally my mind wandered to thinking about how a racist person would see that and think to him/herself, "I knew them there Asians were yellah!" (said in southern accent). That made me think of an awkward moment one of my friend's brothers put us in, but that story will be for another day.

Therefore, I want to chronicle some of the more awkward moments I have had (as you can imagine I have had several - most recently giving my condolences to someone for the loss of her brother only for her to tell me thanks but her son died) that have a story behind them.

My first tale begins in I believe the year 1999 or 2000. I don't remember though. Either way, it was a Labor Day weekend of partying at TCNJ one night and heading to Rutgers the next night. Tim met us at TCNJ, and we went to some crazy party. Then, Tim took Anderson, Landis, and me back to Rutgers with him in anticipation to go to another party.

It was some group that Tim knew, and they were all nice. Anderson as always was topless I believe and was macking on some girl, as always. The drinks were going down like a Russian mail order bride grateful to be in the United States (just kidding I love my Russian Readers). We were playing what I believe was a game of "Asshole" - which I indefinitely won.

The host of the party had this pretty attractive girlfriend who was pretty cool and we were busting each others' chops all night long. So we are playing cards while the girl is sitting on her boyfriend's lap. It was now pretty late into the party. Lo and behold I look at the girl and notice a smudge on her face. Amidst all the surrounding noise of complete strangers talking, I say quietly, "Hey I think your mascara is running." She did not hear me as I was trying not to call out her facial problem to the masses. Her boyfriend must have heard me and he was giving me the hand across the neck - say no more gesture. I repeated myself and got louder until she heard me and she said something to the effect that she did not have mascara on. I then proceeded to outline the blemish. She then cried and yelled, "That's my birthmark you asshole!" Little did I know that the whole party had just witnessed me outline a girl's barely noticeable birthmark. I think we left like 20 minutes after that. However, our man Anderson stayed behind.

This resulted in another awkward moment involving him breaking a table while making out with a girl from the party house. Apparently, he got so hot and heavy he somehow kicked up the table glass and it smashed upon descent. That killed everything and he slept alone on the couch only for the girls at the house to start yelling at him first thing after the sun came up. Poor guy. We didn't get his call for like 2 or 3 hours to pick him up immediately. We picked him up, a battered man, lucky to escape with our hides.