Well folks, I read it. I reviewed it. I edited it. And yet, I still was not pleased with my last attempt at this top 10 list. In fact, I am very not proud to have done the last entry. You may not enjoy this one either, but I certainly feel better writing it. So without further aduba, I re-present to you, while representing, the abridge, adjusted, accountable, accurate, academic, astute, all-encompassing list of....
The Top 10 Things I Can Do Without
10. The guy who absolutely devastates the mens room before 9 a.m. at my office. How does your body produce something so horrendous and vile that early in the day. There is only one guy worse than him...
9. The guy, who strikes between 9 and 10 a.m., who does his business, not as bad as the pre-9 a.m. human garbage dump, who finds it his environmental responsibility to turn off the lights/fan upon exit. Go green? The only green happening is the face of the first person to walk in there into an uncirculated air stink bomb. Thanks for nothing you unhealthy mother f*&^er.
8. Eli - ELIte talk - Yeah, he found a way to win two superbowls. He has done something right, a couple times now. Can we please just drop it already? Would I take him over Michael Vick? You know, I would have to say no. Just because that is a totally irrational question because it cannot happen. Let us all hope and pray that the next annoying football phrase goes from Eli - ELIte to Vick-Torious!
7. Beast mode - Yeah, a repeat from the last one, but I really hated this phrase. Especially when the over-hyper fan boys who have their own radio show use it like "Oh yeah, one time a guy got in my grill and purposely spilled his drink...So what did you do?...Well, I had to. Had to go beast mode bro...BEAST MODE!!!....Yeah that beast mode is great." Again, Seattle Seahawks you continue to provide nothing but terribleness to the NFL.
6. Adele - I think there is some accent somewhere on her name. I will admit it, that thing can sing. I even feel like one or two of her songs were actually pretty fresh. But then she slowed it down, and it got a little repetitive. Then she just flat out ran out of ideas. I actually looked right at my radio and said "That's enough, Adele". Maybe if you stopped looking for things to sing about thus making you a struggling musician, perhaps things with that guy would have worked out better.
5. Another repeat - The use of acronyms that somebody else decided was acceptable. It definitely was not a parent. LOL seemed like an innovation - but one I could have lived without. Nobody really laughs like that. I find "ha" to be more acceptable of a phrase. But the ROFL and SMDH of the world is just plain lazy. It then goes to words like probably to prolly, because to cuz, T U for thank you. Well, here is the only acronym I will use - YKHRTEL: You Kids Have Ruined The English Language.
4. These "E-cards"/"Some Cards" that people are posting everywhere on facebook. Ooh witty phrases on old timey pictures. Neat. If you live and die by these cards, I think you are half douche, half bag.
3. Johnny Depp movies where he does not look like Johnny Depp. Dark Shadows, the movie, came and went, and I know a lot of people, too many people, who wanted to see it. I should send them an e-card that uses a well placed curse word to express my hatred of it. Mr. Depp, you are a very good actor. I had no desire to see you as a pirate, a chocolate factory having child predator, and a homoerotic vampire.
2. People who actually have a thought and eventually the time to voice his/her opinion against gay marriage. I think the only reason you have so many people speaking up FOR gay marriage is because somebody actually doubts it should be allowed. It is the one last sanctity type of thing a real conservative person has left to hold on to. You guys lost the ability to hold down women. You allowed black people to become your equals. Yet, you have to hold on to one thing. You still need one group of people that you need to be higher and mightier than. If you put a religious point of view on it, then you are not valid and should not have any political influence on the matter. All men are created equal, whether they love a woman, another man, god, an animal god, nobody, or just himself. All men ARE created equal. Don't worry closeted gay friends. One day, you will get your chance to step out in public and not ever be judged for who you are.
1. Again, the same as the last one - the almightyly stupid #. I saw somebody on Facebook today use two #s in a status update, and gave him the finger. Workaholics is on right now. I'm sorry. #workaholics. I just self pounded my name on google. The results for #duba was a small town on the coast of the Red Sea, second result was the Michigan attorneys Duba & Duba. I do not know what to use the # for. Seriously. I still need clarification.
No comments:
Post a Comment