My Purple and White Striped Shirt With a Black Collar and Black Elbow Patches

Ladies and gentlemen I do apologize for my absence.  It has been very long since I have been here. In the time since i last left you 3 weeks ago several things have happened.  First, I put in my resignation at my old job, then jetted to Florida with Kim and Rocco for the greatest surprise birthday gift ever, then started a new job upon my return. To prepare for the latter, I recently shopped for some new business casual clothing, specifically pants. Gone are the days of wearing the same jeans or cargo pants for a week. If they want to pay me like a big boy I might as well dress like one. So that led me to today where I wore a new pair of pants that were purchased on Friday night. Unfortunately I have reached a point in my life where my waist line is greater than my age. Yet I am older than my inseam is long. Anywho, I bought a pair that was a little too short, and thankfully it rained today as I was ready for a flood. It actually didn't look half bad, until I sat down and folded my legs.

This got me thinking of some of my worst clothed moments ever. I don't have swag. My fashion is more like lag. I wish (i.e., I am glad that I don't ) I had pictures of my five worst fashion faux pau moments...

5. The Inside Out Green Shirt: I. Spent my youth in the Boy Scouts and tried my best to be the best at it. However like every other suburban teenager, I didn't want to show it to those not in the Scouts. I spent one year at a summer camp with a different troop to help the younger scouts, from Troop 8 from Cinnaminson. They gave me a dark green shirt with Troop 8 on the left breast quadrant. The camp was great, and the shirt was a nice dark green. I. Proceeded to wear the shirt to functions, inside out, for years. This eventually graduated into me wearing blank tshirts in general. But it wasn't like I could hide the fact I was wearing a shirt inside out.

4. My Turtleneck and Button Down Shirt Phase: it was middle school, and my Cinnaminson Middle School yearbook that year had captured it magically. I had several hand me down shirts from brother for my middle school years (1990-1994). I had yellow, blue and red striped shirts. I. Remember some different ones, but they were my exterior layer. Tucked inside these buttoned and striped shirts was the bane of all shirts - the turtleneck.  I had black, blue, red, white, brown. Knowing what I looked like now i would advise "The Pubescent" Jim Duba to dress otherwise. As I got older I turned into a sweat mongering baby seal of a man and that look, even if it made a comeback (I don't know if it even started) it would be impossible for me to pull off. I looked liem an extra on Saved By the Bell.

3. Pants That Turned Into Shorts: I originally bought these pants for a trip I took with the Scouts to New Mexico. It was a 2 week hike across the woods/mountains and we experienced a variety of weather. The pants were very comfortable. Eventually during my Junior year in High School I started to wear them to class. This was around the time people started rolling one pant leg up. I wanted to be a trend setter, so I would walk around school with only one pant leg on. I would switch them over between classes, so if somebody saw me with the right leg off, they were confused when they saw me later with the right leg covered and left one off. As Brandon Barrett would say, "Sometimes your funny just has to be for you." These pants were actually quite a hit among the masses, but it was when the button broke off them that I should  have given them up. I had string for a belt and safety pins for buttons. I wore these pants a lot.

2. Parting My Hair Down The Middle: Not necessarily a clothing error, but rather a style error that further cemented the fact I have none. I had hair that typically came down to my eyeballs if I combed it straight down. I used to have crew cuts every summer, then my mom wanted me to make my hair grow out and part it to the right. I had kind of a Bob's Big Boy kind of look. I always wanted long hair that I could shake my head back to get it out of my eyes. So, I had to be resourceful. I just parted my hair down the middle rather than to the right. I would let it grow a little long so that when I wore a baseball hat, the neck hairs would be so long that they would curl up like I had long hair. When my hat came off I looked like a hairy set of butt cheeks with eyes nose and mouth below it. This was then superseded by the dumb and dumber look I rocked during my senior year.

1. My Purple and White Striped Shirt With a Black Collar and Black Elbow Patches: This was my favorite shirt of all time. I thought it had pinosh. I wore it proudly once a week. It looked exactly as I described it in the title of my post. I wore it so much the white stripes became off-white and the black parts became grey. When I had my mom buy it for me, she declared, in the middle of the store it was for "wiggers." She said it a little too loud and too disgusted for somebody saying a word that ends with "igger" in public. I think I wore this shirt for almost 10 years. One day when I finally had my own house, I looked in my closet as I was hanging up my "May I suggest the Sausage" T-shirt and noticed this mosnstrosity of a shirt. I looked at it and remembered all my life events to that point I had with it. Then I started wondering what people said behind my back about it. I wish I could find a picture of it, but alas it was truly one of a kind and I must've bought the only one.

DubAt The Movies: Summer Movie Preview

With the release of Iron Man 3 today, the Summer Blockbuster season is upon us!!! There's a slew of movies I want to see, so without further aduba, I present to you my reviews of movies I have not yet seen...


MAY

Iron Man 3 - The first of the blockbusters. The first in a series of movies that are sequels to another series of movies leading into a new series of movies. If you don't like anything Marvel has done movie-wise int he past several years, you are a clown. Iron Man 2 was okay, but this should be great. Thankfully it's just barely over 2 hours, but that 130th minute will no doubt have something to tease you for the next Thor or Captain America movie.

The Iceman - The story of a hitman for the mob who killed people and stored bodies in his ice cream truck. This story is amazing actually and shocking. However, when IMDB says "..that David Schwimmer (who is piecing together an admirable indie-film resume) is barely recognizable in his role." Well goddammit. I didn't want to recognize him.

What Maisie Knew - A girl caught up in her parents custody battle as the former spouses find significant others. Looks like, as a fellow step-parent - hold the step, a movie I may be interested in. It is probably the only sappy, non-over-the-top movie I could be interested in this summer.

Kiss of the Damned - Okay. This movie is being released on On Demand the day it hits theaters. More stupid vampires. More stupid names of stupid vampires. More people starring in it whose names I cannot pronounce. Sounds stupid.

The Great Gatsby - I don't know the book, so I fully expect to be entertained by this movie. This is what a team of "editors" at IMDB have declared about the movie:

he Buzz: Our love for certain novels doesn't desire to see them confined to the page or protected from being interpreted on film; take for example Cary Fukunaga's Jane Eyre, a perfect adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's dreary, soot-eyed romance, and an example of underdog cast and director choices at their most winning. When it comes to Leonardo DiCaprio reteaming with Baz Luhrmann to interpret F. Scott Fitzgerald's second-best novel, I often think that the people who have the power to green light (Gatsby reference) major projects aren't necessarily the best fit to star in them. Or act as their director. As respected as he aims to be, Leonardo DiCaprio is at his least effective handling serious drama; Luhrmann, with all of his mega-budget entitlement, has bewitched the industry, but let's see how his latest epic plays out in terms of audience appeal. ” - IMDb Editors

 What? The music sounds cool, and there's lots of colors. May be a Red Box movie.

Peeples - Meh. Tyler Perry tries to teach us a lesson by using the actor who I thought was Patrice O'neil.

Aftershock - Foreigners go to an underground club in Chile (which has several active fault lines). Surprise, there's an earthquake, and the tourists must survive. I would have to see a preview. It's an interest level of 1 out of 10 compared to the blockbusters.

Star Trek Into Darkness - On May 17, parents across the country will celebrate that they got their nerdy adult-aged kids out of the basement and will quickly move to change the locks on their doors. It's a prequel, a sequel to the first prequel, and I know nobody will die. It is very hard to get my interest.

Fast & Furious 6 - The fact this is 130 minutes is ludicrous. I think I have seen one or two of these movies, and they were just whatever to me. What I can't stand is the next summer full of teenagers and early 20 year olds thinking they are Vin Diesel driving a Honda Civic that they pretend is a Ferrari.

The Hangover Part III - Well, maybe its the same jokes all over again, but if something is funny its funny. The second one wasn't as funny. Everybody in the movie just seemed to be too cool for their own good. And it was a carbon copy of the original. Probably a Red Box rental for me, or if the commercials and reviews of it get better, maybe an ideal drive-in movie.

Epic - Kids cartoon movie. Rocco has a strong interest. Will probably go see it with him. If he behaves.

Now You See Me - Robin Hood does magic. Mild interest.

After Earth - Will Smith takes his kid to outer space and crash lands back at Earth. Sonny boy must go get help in an unknown Earth, after humanity has been erased. If it is like any other Will Smith glactic/futuristic mega movie, this could actually be pretty entertaining.

The East - Sounds like a female Jason Bourne. Sounds potentially very confusing. If I read that it is confusing, I will not see this.

JUNE

The Internship - Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn get fired and have to find internships at Google. They probably go on to be competitive with the youngins, get made fun of, make fun of the youngins back, and then probably kill the last 30 minutes of the movie by becoming friends with them. Probably 75 percent funny, 20 percent "I can't believe how boring the end was", 5 percent "They are two old for this." The IMDB editors declare that people who are outside of the range of 18 to 34 years old probably won't find this funny. T-minus 1 year until this movie will suck for me.

The Purge - For one night you can commit any crime with no penalty. Awesome concept. I think it will hit home with what human nature dictates people will inherently do. It is a short movie at 85 minutes. Ethan Hawke is kind of underrated in my opinion, but I hope this is a fun movie. Why it is called a "Purge" - If there are no rules why not just drop a nuclear bomb on cities you don't want around anymore? That would be the quickest purge instead of making a world totally based on fear. Maybe that happens anyway. Who knows.

This is the End - So the actors play themselves and have to go on a celebrity "every man for himself" style survival fight. The cover photo is enough to make me want to start laughing already. Paul Rudd and Danny McBride will make this movie extremely excellent. This is hopefully on the level of Hot Rod. Sinkhole De Mayo.

Man of Steel - Did you know it has been 7 years since the last Superman movie? I remember my ex-wife asking me why I couldn't be more like Superman. For real. But I digress. Super hero movies have changed tremendously for the better, so I don't see how this one will suck. I didn't think the last one sucked, but it wasn't great. It was like the first Hulk movie.

The Bling Ring - Some celebutards want to track celebrities, starring that girl from Harry Potter I don't care about.

World War Z - Another book turned movie, and I will rather spend 20 bucks and 2 hours watching what looks entertaining. I don't believe zombie apocalypses will ever happen, but if it does I am fully prepared to move to South Dakota. I like epic, big explosion/big action/big scenery type end of the world movies. I will not allow myself to not be entertained.

Monsters University - A prequel to Monsters, Inc., the preview we saw of this movie as a family last year was impressive. The animation looks incredible. I can't imagine it will be a bad movie, and hopefully Rocco will enjoy it. Glad he gets another movie to see in another summer month.

The Heat - Melissa McCarthy swears up a storm and makes Sandra Bullock do so as well. It may be good for one viewing, but that is all. However, I expect to be fully entertained in that one viewing. Possibly a laundromat DVD-guy purchase.

White House Down - Channing Tatum has to protect the President while on a tour of the White House. Probably cheese-dick central on this one, but I know Kim will want to see it. Probably. Not sure. Perhaps if he danced in it. Oh he happens to have a tank top on? Yeah, I think we will see it. I will consume massive amounts of Slim Fast and MetRx in the mean time.

Byzantium - Apparently two women show up to stay at a local resort and the locals die. I bet they die at night. I bet it is vampires. I bet at the end, either after the two ladies die or have left, you see somebody, presumably a child, reveal in some way he or she is now a vampire as well.

JULY
The Lone Ranger - Johnny Depp plays an Indian, and yet the Washington Redskins have to change their name. I think the Lone Ranger may have more success than the Redskins this year. Red Box Rental special on this one.

Despicable Me 2 - We love this movie as a family, but I like Megamind just a little bit more. Not much, but it is packed with laughs for kids and adults. I hope it doesn't turn into Cars 2 - i.e., a shitty movie. Looking forward to this the most of kids movies.

The Way , Way Back - Some kid makes friends with a girl who helps him find and/or touch himself. Steve Carrel plays a jerk, and is labeled as a hope to be the next "Little Miss Sunshine." If that is their aim, my aim is to not see it.

Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain - He sucks.

Pacific Rim - Aliens rise from the Pacific Ocean. Humans make Real Steel type of robots. Visually this looks awesome as shit. Maybe better than World War Z. It will make the creators of Battleship regret making Battleship.

Grown Ups 2 - I watched Grown Ups and predicted every joke that was coming. It was funny, but I don't. It was just a weak offering considering how hyped everybody in it made it. I was a little disappointed. I expect more of the same.

Turbo - A snail becomes fast. Hope it has funny commercials to make us interested in it. I fear that if we can only see one movie as a family a month, this will be left behind.

Red 2 - Looks like Expendables 4.

R.I.P.D. - Rest In Peace Department. Dead guys on a hunt for undead criminals. I think. Looks like an all white cast version of Men In Black. If it is a success, it will have at least 2 more movies. Looks a little dumb to me. But then again I am excited for Pacific Rim.

The Conjuring - Ghost hunters look for ghosts in a farm house. I like it. I will see it. I like movies that make Kim tremble.

The Wolverine - The Wolverine from X-Men stops healing. He fights bad guys. Hopefully more awesomer than the first.

Fruitvale Station - A dude goes through the streets on the last day of 2008, crossing paths with everybody ever. I think it's one of those camera always follows a guy type of movies. Maybe entertaining. Possibly a trip to the Ritz at the Bourse for us.

The Smurfs 2 - Go see this with your kid, and I bet you regret it.

AUGUST
300: Rise of an Empire - I liked three hundred. I'm glad this wasn't called something dumb like "301" or "299" (a prequel). I think it could be fun times. Actually, it is a prequel. If it is as cool as the first one and features another obscurely awesome Nine Inch Nails song, I'm in.

2 Guns - Two guys from the DEA and the Navy investigate each other only to learn they were set up by the mob. Stars Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg, which makes this movie already probably good. They are good actors. Did you know Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson were supposed to be the two? So it went from comedy to straight up action. I hope they went the action way because the guy who wrote it was better at action. Sounds a little Mr. & Mrs. Smith-ish, but hopefully much better.

Elysium - I skipped two movies on the IMDB list that I couldn't even fake enough interest in writing about anything I may care about in the movie. So, the privileged and healthy people live on a planet called Elysium, and the riff-raff lives on Earth. Matt Damon puts on a suit that looks like the half naked baby of Iron Man and Robocop and tries to liberate Earth. Potential awesomeness, if you can shy away from how weird Matt Damon looks.

We're the Millers - A man creates a fake family to transport pot from Mexico into the US. With Jason Sudeikis and the "for some reason I do find her funny" Jennifer Anniston I guess as the main characters, this could potentially be funny. From what I've read, it doesn't even seem like it is finished yet.

Planes - A cartoon about planes. The plot synopsis calls the main character a "cropdusting plane." It will be perfect for my cropdusting son.

Kick-Ass 2 - Sorry, but I don't get off on watching a very young girl use very fowl language. Maybe that makes me an old fart now, but the first time I saw this movie, I found it very disgusting. It is odd because I loved Human Centipede. I will rather staple my elbows together.

Prince Avalanche - Paul Rudd and Emilie Hirsch are highway workers who go on vacation together, but not in a Brokeback Mountain kind of way. Supposed to be a comedy. Paul Rudd, even in lesser comedies, can be quite entertaining. May be a definite Red Box Rental.

The To Do List - Any movie that is compared to "Easy A" gets negative points in my book. Some girl wants to be more sexually experienced before going to college. My bet is that she doesn't become that way and the guy she tries to get experienced with is hurt by this fact.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - Maybe the next Twilight or Harry Potter series, I look forward to hearing people other than me talk about these movies.

The World's End - The main character is played by Simon Pegg, who sounds British. Next.

You're Next - A couple celebrating their anniversary fights off killers. There's a reason this one comes out by summer's end and not at the beginning. Possibly a let down.

The Grand Master - The story of Ip Man, the dude who trained Bruce Lee. Probably one of those special effects, guys fly around everywhere type movies. May wait until it is on HBO. HBO Go, that is.



That concludes my summer movie preview. Coming up soon, perhaps an Orlando Vacation Review.

Duba Predicts the ENTIRE 2013 NFL Schedule

The Draft has come and gone. The Jets still look like the team to beat. I mean if your team plays them, your team should beat them. I have no detailed analysis other than what I dive into below. I will check this blog post all season long to see how well I did. It can't be any worse than when I predicted the Eagles schedule last year, producing an inverse record.

WEEK 1

Ravens Vs. Broncos - The defending champions do not get the privilege of playing the first game at their home field. Some say the Orioles are to blame, but I say blame the NFL. Major League Baseball and the Orioles are not responsible for the NFL schedule. The second an NFL team is in the playoffs, the NFL should begin working out their scheduling issues at that moment. I knew Washington wasn't going to win the Superbowl, but Hell, arrangements should have been made to prevent a scheduling conflict. That said, the new look Ravens (read shitty Ravens) will struggle in the beginning of the season. If Peyton Manning does one thing extremely well, it's serving up a nice dish of revenge. That somebody also pooped on. Broncos, 33-20.

Patriots Vs. Bills - Nice try, Buffalo. Patriots, 35-17

Titans Vs. Steelers - Bad luck for the Titans to start the season. Consider this an additional pre-season game for Pittsburgh. Steelers, 24-10.

Falcons Vs. Saints - This should be great. Sean Payton's first game back, Drew Brees hates the NFL. Hates he saw the Falcons almost get to the NFC game and lose. The Saints also hate that they opened the season last year with a loss to the Redskins. This game will be explosive, but Saints have suffered far too long. Saints, 42-35.

Buccaneers Vs. Jets - The Bucs tried again to create the best team ever, and they are bringing home Revis to the Jets (if he is healthy enough to play). If Tampa struggles, expect the questions of the next QB in line. They are playing the Jets, though. Tampa, 24-12. That's right, draft the Jets Kicker in fantasy.

Chiefs Vs. Jaguars - The Andy Reid era begins in Kansas City. The Gus Bradley era begins in Jacksonville. Somebody has to start their tenure with a loss. Since I have seen it so many times in Philadelphia, Bradley will prevail. This game will be a highlight real for both teams with a lot of positives coming out of it. Jaguars, 17-14.

Seahawks Vs. Panthers - I'm already getting tired here. Last year the Seahawks struggled with the Panthers. I think that was when Russel Wilson was finally becoming Russel Wilson, so expect the same ass kicking Seahawks to have their way with the Panthers. Seahawks, 21-13.

Bengals Vs. Bears - Juicy matchup. New coach for the Bears that nobody knows what to expect. Jay Cutler to Brandon Marshall, I know that much. This will be an interesting game. I think continuity on the Bengals wins out in a close slugfest. Bengals, 17-13.

Dolphins Vs. Browns - The 2012 Dolphins could win this one blindfolded. Dolphins, 28-17.

Vikings Vs. Lions - The Vikings better hope to get off to a hot start, but luckily they get the porous Lions defense. Or perhaps this is the rise of Ziggy Ansah. I don't know. Ansah has never played against anyone like Adrian Peterson. Vikings, 24-21.

Raiders Vs. Colts - Good luck, anybody in Black and Silver. This will be a showcase for Andrew Luck. Colts, 30-10.

Packers Vs. 49ers - Awesome first week matchup that should have been the Sunday night game. It is one of two featured 4:25 games, and will be broadcast throughout the country. The fact that the 49ers burned the Packers twice is fuel enough to somebody like Aaron Rogers. The 49ers showed their weaknesses in the Superbowl, so I think the Packers, combined with depth loss for the 49ers, makes it go their way. Packers, 24-20.

Cardinals Vs. Rams - This is easy to call. I also know the broadcast team will consist of that guy who was homeless with the great broadcaster voice and Artie Lange on color commentary. Rams, 38-24.

Giants Vs. Cowboys - As much as I hate to say it, I will watch this game in its entirety. I feel the Giants want that hot start more than the Cowboys who have made it a habit of expecting to play into the last week with a chance at the playoffs rather than securing their spot. Giants, 20-17.

Eagles Vs. Redskins - The key here is if RG3 is up to par and probably an offensive explosion from the Eagles. I expect a fraction of craziness that people predict for the Eagles offense, and I also expect Chip Kelly to prepare to the max to not have his team lose his first spotlight game, first ever pro game as a coach. I think the players want to make an immediate difference. The only question would be how well the defense keeps up with whatever form of offense the Redskins can provide. I fear this may be a year of sprint race offense and sluggish defense (to start). Eagles, 31-27.

Texans Vs. Chargers - I fully expect, at the end of the first week of the NFL, Texans player and the sports media to say, "You got your manhood back, Coach Kubiak." Texan, 24-14.

WEEK 2

Jets Vs. Patriots - Man, NFL Network likes to punish itself. Relive the "Butt Fumble" game. This game was terrible late last year, and will be terrible again. The Patriots don't mess around. If other teams are flies to Bill Belichek, the Jets have become gnats. Shoo flies, squash gnats. Patriots, 42-20.

Rams Vs. Falcons - Hot off a loss for the Falcons, the Rams are in trouble. I think they put up one hell of a fight and have everything in place this early in the season to pull off a major upset, but I think this game and week belongs to the home teams. Falcons, 21-16. Legatron will have his feet full.

Chargers Vs. Eagles - Chip Kelly has seemingly endeared himself to the Philadelphia fans already. Some may still be skeptical, and Chip Kelly doesn't care about them. You want action, the Eagles will provide it. They come out hot for the first time in a long time in a home opener. Eagles, 23-21.

Cowboys Vs. Chiefs - You would think the Cowboys should own this game. The fact of the matter is, minus one year (2009), Andy Reid has challenged the Cowboys every year in the NFC East, even with his worst teams. The Chiefs open up in grand fashion. Chiefs, 20-17.

Dolphins Vs. Colts - So weird. The Dolphins on paper have improved immensely. The Colts took a great leap from 2011 to 2012. Now the Colts must fight the sophomore slump while the Dolphins have new toys to deploy. This will be a good game, and I think Tannehill wants to show he is just as important to this league as Andrew Luck. Dolphins, 27-21.

Titans Vs. Texans - Keep laying them up for the Texans. Texans, 20-13.

Redskins Vs. Packers - Yikes. The Redskins still have concerns on defense and if you aren't from Green Bay you have concerns playing against the Packers offense. RG3 or even Kirk Cousins could perhaps do their own carving up of the Packers, but Aaron will not lose after taking blood from San Francisco in Week 1. Packers, 27-20.

Browns Vs. Ravens - Believe it or not, this will be a slugfest. The Browns I am sure are very very tired of being jokes in the AFC North. The Browns have heart, but that won't beat a Superbowl champ coming off the heels of a let down they have had 10 days to lament on. Ravens, 21-13.

Panthers Vs. Bills - The Buffalo home stand continues, and I think the disappointment does as well. The Panthers find a way to get in the W column. Panthers, 23-17.

Vikings Vs. Bears - A real test for the Bears. I think the Vikings may have trouble here. Bears, 26-18. (Why not a weird score).

Saints Vs. Buccaneers - Second tough division battle in a row. Freeman does not out-gun-sling Drew Brees. Saints, 35-24.

Lions Vs. Cardinals - The Cardinals have been starting out hot recently, and I think Carson Palmer hits all the right spots. Cardinals, 24-20.

Jaguars Vs. Raiders - Despite picking number two overall, I think the Jaguars would beat Oakland 9 times out of 9. Jaguars, 17-10.

Broncos Vs. Giants - Eli face, all game. Broncos, 23-14.

49ers Vs. Seahawks - I love watching these teams play. I love cheering for Russel Wilson. Seahawks, 30-20.

Steelers Vs. Bengals - Bengals start to show they are the class of the AFC North. Bengals, 23-14.

Week 3

Chiefs Vs. Eagles - Perhaps the last marquee matchup of the season for both teams. Unlike when McNabb came back, there will be no warm reception for Andy. Eagles, 23-14.

Texans Vs. Ravens - I think the Texans are tired of losing to the Ravens. This does not look like the Superbowl Champions. Texans, 28-20.

Giants Vs. Panthers - Remember when the Giants ran all over the Panthers last year on Monday night? So does Tom Coughlin. Giants, 27-17.

Lions Vs. Redskins - I think a one-legged RG3 can outduel the Lions at home in this one. Redskins, 30-24.

Chargers Vs. Titans - Big test for the Chargers going coast to coast. They pass the test though, and they start figuring things out. Chargers, 17-10.

Cardinals Vs. Saints - No way this game is watchable. Saints, 30-14.

Buccaneers Vs. Patriots - Again, no way this game is watchable. Patriots, 34-20.

Packers Vs. Bengals - If the Packers want another Superbowl berth in the Aaron Rogers era, it won't be easy. I see a shocker here. Bengals, 21-20.

Rams Vs. Cowboys - The Upstarts vs. The Downfalls. Although I don't think the Cowboys will like losing this much and barely win. Cowboys, 23-20.

Browns Vs. Vikings - I wonder who will be the star of the Game? Adrian Petersons, 21-10.

Falcons Vs. Dolphins - Revamp all you want. There's a reason people are always high on the regular season juggernauts in Atlanta. Falcons, 27-17.

Bills Vs. Jets - No more Tim Tebow! Wait, he did nothing last year, either? Bills, 30-17.

Colts Vs. 49ers - How do they have two losses already? Poor Andrew Luck. 49ers, 38-20.

Jaguars Vs. Seahawks - Welcome home, Gus. Now here are the directions to the hospital to see your players...Seahawks, 28-10.

Bears Vs. Steelers - Juicy matchup. Tough battle. Enough turnover on both teams to keep anybody guessing. I will now flip a coin 3 times, best two of three. Heads, Bears. Tails, Steelers. Bears, 17-10.

Raiders Vs. Broncos - You're welcome for the prime time game. Now go home until the 2014 draft. Broncos, 35-17.

Week 4

49ers Vs. Rams - Thursday night delight. Rams know how to play the 49ers well for an underdog. Their defense is improved and the Colin K-somethingorother gets attacked all day. Rams, 20-14.

Ravens Vs. Bills - Yay! They look like Superbowl Champs again! Ravens, 26-20.

Cardinals Vs. Buccaneers - Make or break week for the Bucs. They will show heart. Buccaneers, 27-21.

Steelers Vs. Vikings - I think this game is in London. That is no way to reward the fans of a team with the best player in the league. AP does it all day. Vikings, 14-13.

Giants Vs. Chiefs - By this point, the NFL probably figures it's the same shit with Andy Reid. Plus they have handled Alex Smith before. Giants, 24-13.

Colts Vs. Jaguars - Jags give it their all. But so do the Colts. Colts, 24-14.

Seahawks Vs. Texans - Awesome potential game. Coin flip(s). Texans, 21-17.

Bengals Vs. Browns - Bengals, 23-10.

Bears Vs. Lions - The Lions have to win at some point, right? WRONG! Bears, 35-27.

Jets Vs. Titans - Chris Johnson remembers his 90-yard touchdown run from last year. He finished with 97 yards that day. He would like to go for 197 yards, please. Titans, 21-10.

Redskins Vs. Raiders - Mike Shanahan himself could beat them if he played quarterback. Redskins, 38-24.

Eagles Vs. Broncos - As Jah Rule would say, "Murderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" Broncos, 30-17.

Cowboys Vs. Chargers - I just don't think the Cowboys are into this game after last week's big win. Chargers, 17-14.

Patriots Vs. Falcons - Probably the Superbowl the league wanted. Might as well get the most out of this one. When did the Patriots last play in a dome? Don't know either. Falcons, 30-27.

Dolphins Vs. Saints - Saints, 27-18.

Week 5

Bills Vs. Browns - Thursday Night Snooze. Browns, 17-10.

Patriots Vs. Bengals - Patriot road trip continues, and I don't think they let themselves lose three in a row. I haven't played out this whole schedule, but I think this is a playoff preview. Patriots, 21-20.

Lions Vs. Packers - Jim Schwartz's seat is almost too hot to sit in. Packers, 38-24.

Seahawks Vs. Colts - Colts did a miracle last year vs. the Packers at home. Playing a second place schedule is not favorable for the Colts, though. Seahawks, 27-20.

Ravens Vs. Dolphins - They don't look like Superbowl Champs. Miami, SUPERBOWL!!! Miami, 20-14.

Saints Vs. Bears - Listed on nfl.com as the only real good matchup (I think Pats/Bengals is better), this deserves a coin flip. Saints, 24-21.

Eagles Vs. Giants - No miracle needed. No miracle expected. Giants, 28-14.

Chiefs Vs. Titans - Alex Smith will look awesome here. Chiefs, 30-17.

Jaguars Vs. Rams - Welcome back to oblivion, Jaguars. Rams, 27-14.

Panthers Vs. Cardinals - A well rested Panthers team makes Arizona look sharp. At least one Superman pose by Newton. And that is early in the game. Cadinals, 20-7.

Broncos vs. Cowboys - If the weekness in the secondary still exits in the Broncos, they may find it in this game. Cowboys, 20-17. I can't believe I just picked Tony Romo to beat Peyton.

Chargers Vs. Raider - The "Shits and Giggles" bowl. Chargers, 30-14.

Texans Vs. 49ers - Barn Burner. Texas has barns. 49ers, 21-17.

Jets Vs. Falcons - Is the NFL trying to tank ESPN? Falcons, 23,547-3.

Week 6
Giants Vs. Bears - Okay, a good Thursday night matchup. Six games in to the season, and I believe the Bears are desperate for a win. Home teams usually do well in the Thursday night specials, so...Bears, 23-14.

Packers Vs. Ravens - They do not look like the Superbowl champs. Packers, 28-17.

Bengals Vs. Bills - The two TE set is finally coming alive in Cincinnati, at the expense of the Bills. Bengals, 34-20.

Lions Vs. Browns - Yuck. I don't think the Lions can legitimately go this long without a win. Lions, 30-13.

Rams Vs. Texans - The two top drafted rookie receivers play a game of one-upsmanship. I think this goes to the home team, though. Texans, 21-14.

Panthers Vs. Vikings - A real test for the Panther's draft class. AP again straps 10 guys on...his back to win it at home. Vikings, 27-17.

Raiders Vs. Chiefs - Rivalry!!! The Chiefs roll easily. Chiefs, 35-17.

Steelers Vs. Jets - Try as they might to improve, the Jets are still the Jets. Steelers, 21-10.

Eagles Vs. Buccaneers - The best game the Eagles played last year gets to happen again, at the same venue. The Buccaneers have improved their secondary so no more long amazing Jason Avant catches. Tough to call, as Tampa should still have a good run defense. I hate myself for this. Buccaneers, 21-17.

Jaguars Vs. Broncos - Broncos, 27-10. No doy!

Titans Vs. Seahawks - See above. Seahawks, 28-14.

Saints Vs. Patriots - A money matchup. I think this game means more to both quarterbacks than we could realize. I have to go to a coin flip on this one, best out of 5...Saints, 35-31 (three straight coin flips went to New Orleans).

Cardinals Vs. 49ers - A great test for Bruce Arians and Carson Palmer. They need to study a little more as San Francisco starts its comeback charge in the standings. 49ers, 27-18.

Redskins Vs. Cowboys - Ugh. I hate this game. But I will watch this game. Redskins, 30-24.

Colts Vs. Chargers - Perhaps Andrew Luck will change his while playing on the road. The shock of their record thus far changes here. Colts, 20-13.


Week 7
Seahawks Vs. Cardinals - Thursday night smash to the mouth. The Cardinals just lost too much of a heartbreaker to the 49ers. I suspect they play their hearts out and steal a win here. Cardinals, 17-14.

Buccaneers Vs. Falcons - As much as they want to compete, the Buccaneers are a year away. Falcons, 31-20.

Bears Vs. Redskins - I think the defense in Washington can't keep up with Brandon Marshall or Matt Forte. RG3 plays like a hero, falling short at the last second. Bears, 20-16.

Cowboys Vs. Eagles - I'm sure Chip Kelly has been told, whatever you do, do NOT lose this game. By no means, no excuses, the Eagles have to have this one to make it count towards a successful rebuilding year. Eagles, 31-27.

Patriots Vs. Jets - Remember the excitement of their Week 1 matchup? It's always nice to open the season thinking your team has a chance, then reality comes by in the form of a monumental beatdown. Patriots, 48-20.

Bills Vs. Dolphins - Two teams rebuilding, one just a step ahead of the other. This should be an underdog of a great game. Dolphins, 24-17.

Rams Vs. Panthers - Two teams fighting for respect they think they should have. If the Rams haven't fully established a running game here, it will be tough sledding. I think Cam Newton plays like a smarter version of his 2011 self here. Panthers, 24-20.

Bengals Vs. Lions - I think the Bengals are just too juiced up and jacked off. I mean jacked up. Did you read this far? Bengals, 28-27.

Chargers Vs. Jaguars - Justin Blackmon may just be getting back into the mix in this one, but this is a "I can't believe we flew all the way down here to an empty stadium so let's get out of here quickly with a win" scenario for San Diego. Chargers, 31-21.

Texans Vs. Chiefs - Andy Reid has beaten the Texans before, but that was last during the magical 2010 campaign. Tough sledding, Andy. Texans, 24-13.

49ers Vs. Titans - Fortunes continue to rise after a beatdown of the Cardinals. 49ers, 35-27.

Browns Vs. Packers - Packers, 33-21.

Ravens Vs. Steelers - This game loses its luster after some foundation players for both teams are no longer on the roster. In a sense, a new rivalry must be born now. Steelers, 20-14.

Broncos Vs. Colts - A game that is exciting to promote, but one that will not be exciting. This will start with a strong Broncos run and Manning consoling Luck. Broncos, 28-17.

Vikings Vs. Giants - Great game. I think the Vikings have a strong chance. Vikings, 17-13.

Week 8
Panthers Vs. Buccaneers - A sneaky good matchup. It was a Thursday night game when we first saw that Doug Martin was for real. I think he still is for real, and Tampa Bay squeezes one out. Buccaneers, 20-17.


49ers Vs. Jaguars - Jaguars fans have broken into being the Baguars again. 49ers, 42-23.

Browns Vs. Chiefs - Weird, thus far, the Browns have been the league's punching bag. I think they punch back. Browns, 23-17.

Dolphins Vs. Patriots - The matchup the Dolphins have been waiting for. Their measuring stick game. With a win, they have a chance to jump ahead of the Patriots. I think they fall just short. If this game were in Miami at this point in the season, it would be the other way around. Patriots, 30-24.

Bills Vs. Saints - Potential first shootout for EJ Manuel. I doubt Kolb still has his head attached to his body by this point (even with good protection, his brain has just become too soft). Saints, 30-23.

Cowboys Vs. Lions - Didn't Tony Romo play a heroic game against them like 2 years ago? I want to like the Lions, I really do. I think at this point they start pressing teams to the max and nabbing a few wins. Lions, 28-20.

Giants Vs. Eagles - I can't believe this is a division leader matchup. The Eagles on the current roster have always played their best to beat the Giants at home, and I think they can again. Eagles, 21-17.

Steelers Vs. Raiders - Last year I think Oakland pulled off the upset. This year, meeeeeeh, not so much. Steelers, 21-7.

Jets Vs. Bengals - No contest. Bengals, 35-21.

Falcons Vs. Cardinals - I hope for a good game and some flashes from Carson Palmer. But alas, two Larry Fitzgeralds couldn't even do the trick here. Falcons, 17-10.

Redskins Vs. Broncos - New School vs. old school. Peyton has made a career of picking apart defenses like Washington. Broncos, 23-15.

Packers Vs. Vikings - I think the Greg Jennings bowl, coupled with Adrian Peterson and now integrated Cordarelle Patterson take the Pack by storm. Vikings, 35-31.

Seahawks Vs. Rams - Smart making the Monday night meeting in Saint Louis. Seattle just lost to the Cardinals, and they will be damned if they lose two in a row. Percy Harvin shows Tavon how it's done. Seahawks, 28-20.

Week 9
Bengals Vs. Dolphins - A potential January 2015 playoff battle. Note I did not say 2014. Make no mistake - the Dolphins worry teams. Bengals, 21-20.

Falcons Vs. Panthers - Poor Panthers fans. Falcons, 28-27.

Vikings Vs. Cowboys - Hot off an emotional win against their division rivals, I think Christian Ponder struggles. Bottom line is that as long as Adrian Peterson is on the field, they always have a chance. Vikins, 17-13.

Saints Vs. Jets - Saints, 2,504 to 3.

Titans Vs. Rams - I haven't given the poor Titans much benefit of the doubt here. And it won't start now. Rams, 31-17.

Chiefs Vs. Bills - Tough bottom feeder match. Coin toss, 2 out of 3. Bills, 33-24.

Chargers Vs. Redskins - Redskins, 28-21.

Eagles Vs. Raiders - No way they lose this one. The surprise team of 2013 continues its winning ways. Eagles, 24-10.

Buccaneers Vs. Seahawks - Richard Sherman blocks off Vincent Jackson and Marshawn Lynch does to the great run defense of Tampa what he always does to great run defenses. Seahawks, 30-20.

Ravens Vs. Browns - They look like the Superbowl champs! The Champs are here!! Ravens, 17-14.

Steelers Vs. Patriots - Maybe the Patriots find a way to court Emmanuel Sanders onto their team before the game starts? I don't see how the Steelers pull this off. Patriots, 24-20.

Colts Vs. Texans - The Texans have been on a roll most of the season, but even the best team I ever saw (2007 Patriots) lose a game. Colts, 20-14.

Bears Vs. Packers - Imagine going into the Packers house after Aaron Rogers just got beat by Christian Ponder? No bye week rest is enough to help Chicago. Packers, 33-20.

Week 10
Redskins Vs. Vikings - I bet this game is really good. I like the confidence at this point the Vikings show. Vikings, 21-17.

Eagles Vs. Packers - If Chip Kelly has really made something special, this is the week to show it. Aaron Rogers is very special. Packers, 31-24.

Jaguars Vs. Titans - This turns out to be a pretty solid back and forth, and Tennessee gets back in the W column. Titans, 14-13.

Bills Vs. Steelers - Just another day for the Steelers, who don't like losing multiple games in a row. Steelers, 21-13.

Raiders Vs. Giants - When will the Raiders ever win again? Giants, 38-17.

Rams Vs. Colts - Tough game last week, great chance for reestablishing themselves. Rams, 20-14.

Seahawks Vs. Falcons - History often repeats itself, unless it's referring to the history of lightning. Since the Seahawk is a bird and not a strike of lightning, history will repeat itself. Falcons, 21-17.

Bengals Vs. Ravens - I don't know why I have such a good feeling, but I think the Ravens start to show flashes of the team that ran through the Superbowl. Ravens, 21-20.

Lions Vs. Bears - Nice try, Lions. Jim Schwartz may get fired. Bears, 27-17.

Panthers Vs. 49ers - NFL.com says this is their matchup to watch. Nope. Despite another heroic effort, the Panthers cannot hang. 49ers, 33-24.

Texans Vs. Cardinals - Bruce Arians may have some knowledge about the Texans after coaching against them twice last year. I just don't think they have enough to stop the Houston offense and DeAndre Hopkins' awesome game let alone block the Houston defense. Texans, 27-17.

Broncos Vs. Chargers - The game that changed everything for the Broncos last year, but no need for a change this year. Broncos, 23-14.

Cowboys Vs. Saints - Flex Scheduling may come into play here. I just don't see a better potential 4 o'clock hour game. Cowboys should hate getting flattened on national TV again. Saints, 38-21.

Dolphins Vs. Buccaneers - Battle for Florida, as Tannehill's stock goes up and Freeman's goes down faster than a "insert Russian whore joke here." Dolphins, 23-13.

Week 11
Colts Vs. Titans - Home teams tend to have had advantage. I expect the Titans to keep it close, but still under the amount of points the Colts can score. Colts, 21-20.

Jets Vs. Bills - I would say this is a coin flip game. I will weight the coin down so the Jets may pull off a win here. JETS!, 6-3.

Falcons Vs. Buccaneers - The Bucs need a new quarterback, but this isn't the game to test him out. Perhaps Freeman gets benched. Next man up won't save them. Falcons, 31-20.

Lions Vs. Steelers - I see the Steelers notice the Ravens aren't the Champs anymore and the Bengals can be beaten. All they have to do is catch them. Steelers, 20-17.

Redskins Vs. Eagles - Last year when the Skins came to town it was ugly. I don't see how the Eagles recover from their loss the previous week. Redskins, 23-14.

Chargers Vs. Dolphins - As if flying down to Jacksonville earlier this year wasn't enough, they have to fly further south, and will put up a fight, but not good enough. Dolphins, 24-14.

Ravens Vs. Bears - They definitely won't look like the Superbowl Champs. Bears, 38-24.

Bronws Vs. Bengals - That crack in the Bengals armor seals up a little bit here. Bengals, 27-20.

Raiders Vs. Texans - I just did 15 coin tosses, and even George Washington hates the Raiders. Texans, beatdown, 42-20.

Cardinals Vs. Jaguars - The Bruce Arians success formula works this week. Cardinals, 31-24.

Chiefs Vs. Broncos - Time to get your clock cleaned by Peyton Manning again, Andy Reid. Broncos, 31-17.

Vikings Vs. Seahawks - What a treat of a game. I think the Seattle defense is too much for Christian Ponder and the doctors didn't put enough miracles in the leg of Adrian Peterson for this game. Seahawks, 31-21.

49ers Vs. Saints - Tough match for both teams. Perhaps the Greg Williams Damning Evidence Bowl game. I was about to coin toss it up, but I have made up my mind. 49ers, 35-31.

Packers Vs. Giants - Another tough match, and last year the Giants gave the Packers what for. I don't think Rogers lets that happen again. Packers, 28-27.

Patriots Vs. Panthers - This will be much like Texans Vs. Patriots - over quickly. Patriots, 45-28.

Week 12
Saints Vs. Falcons - NFL Network wants a hopefully better game than these two provided last year. How two high powered offenses had little to show on a Thursday night is beyond me. This game determines the NFC South. I love the Saints, but I hate the Falcons more. I hate this. Falcons, 27-21.

Buccaneers Vs. Lions - Two teams with equal parts identity. Only since Stafford-Johnson is stronger than Freeman-Jackson any day or year. Lions, 31-27.

Vikings Vs. Packers - Joe Webb, Christian Ponder, it doesn't matter. Packers, 45-21.

Jaguars Vs. Texans - Next. Texans, 30-20.

Chargers Vs. Chiefs - I started the Chargers defense against the Chiefs last year in a move that saved my fantasy football season. But this year is different. Chiefs, 17-14.

Panthers Vs. Dolphins - Dolphins, 27-20.

Steelers Vs. Browns - Steelers, 20-10.

Bears Vs. Rams - This game will be great. Rams, 27-21.

Jets Vs. Ravens - They look like the Superbowl champs. Ravens, 21-17.

Titans Vs. Raiders - I think this finally a positive for a mess of a team that is known as the Oakland Raiders. Perhaps there will be one good day in Oakland from September through December. Raiders, 24-14.

Colts Vs. Cardinals - A game where Bruce Arians knows what's coming, but the Colts don't. I think those great rookie comebacks come into play here. Colts, 27-24.

Cowboys Vs. Giants - Cowboys fresh off their break will still get knocked out here. Giants, 38-27.

Broncos Vs. Patriots - It hasn't been often when Manning gets the best of Brady. But this is at Foxboro, where the Patriots rarely lose (unless it's the AFC Championship game). Patriots, 42-41.

49ers Vs. Redskins - This game is intriguing in that it is at Washington. Colin K-somethingorother gets it done, though. 49ers, 31-24.

Week 13
Packers Vs. Lions - Thanksgiving! Thank goodness for Football! I bet this is a shoot out, and I really think you see a turkey day upset. Lions, 38-31.

Raiders Vs. Cowboys - Lucky Cowboys fans get a treat on Thanksgiving. Cowboys, 28-20.

Steelers Vs. Ravens - At this point, I have the Ravens at 5-6, and the Steelers at 7-4. I think things start to come together better for the Ravens and they get this game. Ravens, 27-20.

Broncos Vs. Chiefs - Didn't this game like just happen a week or two ago? Chiefs will put up a fight, but that's like saying I would put up a fight against Brock Lesnar. Broncos, 28-21.

Titans Vs. Colts - The Colts fresh off a tough win last week don't want to do it again the hard way. Colts, 24-14.

Jaguars Vs. Browns - You would think after improving the offensive line, getting MJD back healthy, and drafting number 2 overall throughout the draft would make them better than Cleveland. This game makes them even. Jaguars, 27-21.

Buccaneers Vs. Panthers - Panthers will make not make this a good season. Perhaps their coach gets fired thereafter. Buccaneers, 21-17.

Bears Vs. Vikings - Slug fest. Both teams. The winner is in a tie with the Packers at the Division lead, and is vying for first seed in the playoffs along with Seahawks, 49ers, Saints and Falcons. I go with the experienced coach/home team combo special here. Vikings, 21-20.

Cardinals Vs. Eagles - Tough to call. The Cardinals have had the Eagles' number the last three times they played, although that was all under Andy Reid. Larry Fitzgerald kills us every time, so I will have to go with history repeating, again. Cardinals, 30-24.

Dolphins Vs. Jets - This will be the last great Jets moment of the year, probably. Jets, 27-20.

Falcons Vs. Bills - The trappiest of games they (the Falcons) could ever play. Don't underestimate the underdogs. The Falcons tend to slip once or twice a season making every pundit and analyst question if they are for real. This is that game. Bills, 35-30.


Rams Vs. 49ers - What a series these teams have put up over the past year. Jeff Fisher has made the Rams for real, and I think they hang very tough here. Saint Louis in a thriller and a shocker, a thrilling shocking game. Rams, 24-21, OT.

Patriots Vs. Texans - Do the Patriots give Houston the treatment they gave them in the last regular season? Or do the Texans realize they control their own destiny in this one game, this one night where they must lay it all on the line? I go with the latter, in the first time you or I or anybody can really take Houston seriously anymore in the playoffs. Texans, 41-35.

Bengals Vs. Chargers - Quietly, the Bengals keep mowing everybody else down. Bengals, 28-17.

Giants Vs. Redskins - Sorry, but no way this game should be in prime time over Rams/49ers, Bears/Vikings, or Patriots/Texans. Therefore, I know who will win, and I give no team credit in the process. Redskins, 3-2.

Saints Vs. Seahawks - Talk about an awesome awesome AWESOME Monday Night Football game. This will be extraordinary action as well as determining the fate of each team's playoff chances and the fate of millions of fantasy football teams across the world. Seahawks, 38-35.

Week 14
Texans Vs. Jaguars - Will the Texans fall into a trap game? I only make this prediction based on sheer hope that Gary Kubiak can keep his team playing lights out and to the max and not take any opponent for granted after dumping the Patriots last week. Texans, 35-13.

Colts Vs. Bengals - Two teams that lead the youth movement, but one with a little bit older youth movement than the youths on the youthful team of the Colts. Bengals, 20-14.

Browns Vs. Patriots - Sucks to be the Browns. This is the Patriots' "Still fear us" game. Patriots, 48-13.

Raiders Vs. Jets - Sure I'll pick the Jets to win, and I already said they would have their last great moment of the year in last week's win over Miami. This game will be uglier than a c-section. Jets, 13-7.

Panthers Vs. Saints - Panthers got a shit schedule this year. I just don't see them winning many games. Saints, 31-20.

Lions Vs. Eagles - Ugh. If Jim Schwartz is still the coach, he will remember how he beat the Eagles last year (although that was under Andy Reid). I think you see some fancy stuff from the Eagles here, but a 53 man heroic effort can't have us a mark in the win column, I fear. Lions, 42-38.

Dolphins Vs. Steelers - Pittsburgh still controls their own fate. I saw them win games with their third stringers last year. Plus, somebody is about to flatten Mike Wallace. Perhaps a fan might flatten him. Steelers, 21-14.

Bills Vs. Buccaneers - You would think the Buccaneers have to better than the Bills, right? Buccaneers, 28-24.

Chiefs Vs. Redskins - Andy Reid had no answer for RG3 last year, and still doesn't. Redskins continue their push. Redskins, 28-20.

Vikings Vs. Ravens - This is where AP will shine brightest as he ever could. He will tear up the inexperienced and weaker defense of Baltimore. Vikings, 21-20.

Titans Vs. Broncos - You go on with your bad self, Peyton. Remember how convenient it was to beat these guys in a dome? I'm sure you can brave the cold for a couple more hours. Broncos, 27-16.

Rams Vs. Cardinals - Straight shooting, Rams, 24-21.

Giants Vs. Chargers - Eli Manning returns to what was supposed to be his home, this time with ANOTHER Superbowl ring on his finger. I think the Chargers are made to feel like crap again, in their home stadium, as the truth about how bad Philip Rivers CAN be comes out. Giants, 42-20.

Seahawks Vs. 49ers - The swing game. Home team rules in this feud. 49ers, 24-21.

Falcons Vs. Packers - Yikes. First time in a few years the Falcons experience this - a losing streak. Packers, 28-24.

Cowboys Vs. Bears - Seriously, doesn't the NFL ever learn? Remember the turnover fest this game was last year, on Monday Night Football? What makes them think this will not be the same? That game damn near sunk my office fantasy football team (playing against Brandon Marshall AND the Bears defense). Bears, 33-20.

Week 15
Chargers Vs. Broncos - I expect the Chargers to be tired of losing, but the Broncos are just crushing it. Broncos, 24-20.

Redskins Vs. Falcons - No doubt about it this one. Two teams I despise. I wish they would tie. Falcons, 20-17.

Cardinals Vs. Titans - Next. Cardinals, 26-19. Establish the Field Goal.

49ers Vs. Buccaneers - If you don't think there was any good reason why the 49ers didn't resign Dashon Goldson, this game will show you why they didn't. 49ers, 33-17.

Saints Vs. Rams - Prepare for a Tavon Austin highlight reel game. I just don't think it's enough. Saints, 34-28.

Seahawks Vs. Giants - Seahawks face a cross country test. The Giants did great against better opponents at home last season. This is a trap for Seattle, but I think they find a way to play with confidence they should have, like they are legitimate contenders that people will be tired of talking about rather than media darlings. Seahawks, 21-17.

Bears Vs. Browns - Bears, in a close one. Bears, 17-15.

Texans Vs. Colts - Alright, Andrew Luck. Time to put on the big boy pants. I just don't think the Texans let up. Texans, 30-20.

Bills Vs. Jaguars - A "can't believe I have to flip a coin for an irrelevant game" game. This game will not be given the respect of best two of three, but rather a one off. Jaguars, 21-14.

Patriots Vs. Dolphins - Damn, Dolphins. You think you are a big dog? Prove it. The Patriots won't let you, but they will let you think you have a chance. Patriots, 28-27.

Eagles Vs. Vikings - This game will be ugly. Vikings, 27-20.

Chiefs vs. Raiders - The Chiefs have already doubled their wins from the year before, so I will give some love to the Raiders. Raiders, 28-20.

Jets Vs. Panthers - Save your job, Cam Newton, Deangelo Williams, Jonathon Stewart, Ron Rivera, entire Panthers defense. Panthers, 35-21.

Packers Vs. Cowboys - I have no doubt in my mind the Packers pack in the Cowboys. Packers, 38-27.

Bengals Vs. Steelers - Last year all it took was some toughness out of Jonathon Dwyer to beat the Bengals. I think the Bengals need to LOSE this game in order to get them right in the head for the playoffs. And the Steelers need this one more than Cincinnati does. Steelers, 24-20.

Ravens Vs. Lions - I don't see how the Lions have many wins this year. The extra day off helps the Ravens who play inspired after seeing the Colts, Bengals, and Dolphins all lose. Ravens, 28-24.

Week 16
Dolphins Vs. Bills - Bounce back game for the Dolphins, looking for a wild-card spot. Dolphins, 24-20.

Saints Vs. Panthers - The Carolina feel good game of the year was last week, not this week. Saints, 38-20.

Cowboys Vs. Redskins - The networks would like to make you think this game matters. It doesn't, at least for the Cowboys. Redskins, 30-21.

Buccaneers Vs. Rams - The Rams continue their improvement this week. Rams, 20-14.

Bears Vs. Eagles - Another horrendous game, most likely. It would be a bad game for Vick to get hurt in, which is the scenario I see playing out. The Eagles mathematically are alive in the NFC East until Week 16. Mark my words. But that's it. Bears, 30-27.

Browns Vs. Jets - A very winnable game for the Browns. Trent Richardson looks like a beast in this game. Browns, 31-21.

Colts Vs. Chiefs - Colts need this game desperately. Colts, 21-17.

Vikings Vs. Bengals - Because this corps of players on the Bengals has not had a leading position before, I go with what will probably be considered an upset here. Vikings, 21-20.

Broncos Vs. Texans - This could most likely be the AFC Championship game. While I always like seeing the Patriots lose a big game, I could take this one. I'd like to see Arian Foster get a great big bad chance to shine. Even though he is on a new team, combined with Wes Welker, the two of them have experience in beating the Texans in huge spots. This should be the Sunday night game, but it can't be. Broncos, 26-21. First round bye, secured.

Titans Vs. Jaguars - This game should have been on Thursday night game, but it can't be. Titans, 24-21.

Cardinals Vs. Seahawks - Seattle has to have this game. Arizona has the most outside of chances to make the playoffs, but if they can't they will make sure to have put the rest of their division in notice and also let the NFL know that the NFC West is now the toughest division in football, that said...Seahawks, 27-21.

Giants Vs. Lions - Lions play spoiler. Lions, 28-14.

Raiders Vs. Chargers - The Chargers have to win again at some point, right? Chargers, 24-17.

Steelers Vs. Packers - Tough game for the Steelers. Super Bowl rematch, and remember that outcome? Footballtown vs. Footballville. Packers break away late with it. Packers, 38-27.

Patriots Vs. Ravens - Unless somebody close to Joe Flacco dies in the middle of the night, do not expect a thriller like last year's Sunday Night Football meeting had. Patriots, 38-24.

Falcons Vs. 49ers - Wow a great MNF match finally. This is all about jockeying for position, so I go with the home team confidently. 49ers, 27-24.

Week 17
Panthers Vs. Falcons - I suddenly realize I have not kept track of division records, conference records, etc to determine the seeding and what each team has to play for. I don't think it matters for the NFC South, but it does for both wild card spots. Falcons, 31-20.

Packers Vs. Bears - Two teams with everything on the line. No team wants to enter the playoffs with a loss. The Packers lost on the last game of the year, and ultimately dropped their momentum down. I don't think they let that happen again. Packers, 31-28.

Texans Vs. Titans - Texans breath a sigh of relief after their loss last week. Texans, 41-24.

Browns Vs. Steelers - Good for you, Pittsburgh. Steelers, 28-17.

Redskins Vs. Giants - See, if I kept track of everything to this point, I would know if this game even matters for the Giants. If the Redskins win, they are in the playoffs again. If they lose, are the Giants in anyway? Who knows?! I guess we will see in a little table I will make at the end of Week 17. So, because you want suspense, Giants, 28-27.

Ravens Vs. Bengals - Are the Ravens fighting for a playoff spot? No, I don't know the answer. A simple table would've helped out here. Bengals, 24-20.

Eagles Vs. Cowboys - The Chip Kelly era started out hot, but ends as Matt Barkley gets his first NFL start. Cowboys, 27-24.

Jaguars Vs. Colts - Feel good season end for the Colts. Colts, 24-10.

Jets Vs. Dolphins - Again, where do the Dolphins stand? Does the game mathematically matter? Either way, the Dolphins show what they are. Dolphins, 35-17.

Lions Vs. Vikings - Vikings in. Vikings, 28-24.

Bills Vs. Patriots - Unless they play the game of their lives, the Bills will not beat the Patriots until next year. Patriots, 38-24.

Buccaneers Vs. Saints - Saints end the season with first round bye having been earned as their redemption year is complete. Saints, 35-12.

Broncos Vs. Raiders - Broncos win this and it's another first seed. What they do from there is on them. Broncos, 21-14.

49ers Vs. Cardinals - The Cardinals have a chance to finish at 8-8, or the equivalent of the NFC East Champion. I think they finish 7-9. 49ers, 30-20.

Chiefs Vs. Chargers - The game means nothing except perhaps shifting the balance in the AFC West. Chiefs, 20-14.

Rams Vs. Seahawks - Remember maybe 3 or 4 years ago when this was a play-in game for the playoffs on Sunday Night Football? It won't be SNF, but I expect it to be the last game and the highest rated of the day. If the Rams win, they may make the playoffs. Seahawks could either get a home game or go on the road again in the playoffs. If the Rams can upset the Seahawks, their playoff run is already dead. I just see the Seahawks doing great things this year. Seahawks, 21-20.

FINAL STANDINGS

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Redskins	8	8	4	2	6	6
Giants	8	8	4	2	6	6
Eagles	6	10	3	3	3	9
Cowboys	4	12	1	5	2	10

 

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Packers	13	3	4	2	10	2
Vikings	13	3	4	2	9	3
Bears	11	5	3	3	7	5
Lions	6	10	2	4	5	7

 

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Seahawks	12	4	4	2	9	3
49ers	12	4	3	3	8	4
Rams	9	7	4	2	6	6
Cardinals	6	10	1	5	4	8

 

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Saints	13	3	5	1	9	3
Falcons	12	4	5	1	9	3
Buccaneers	6	10	2	4	4	8
Panthers	3	13	0	6	1	11

 

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Patriots	13	3	6	0	11	1
Dolphins	9	7	3	3	7	5
Jets	3	13	2	4	3	9
Bills	3	13	1	5	2	10

 

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Bengals	12	4	4	2	9	3
Steelers	10	6	4	2	9	3
Ravens	7	9	4	2	6	6
Browns	3	13	0	6	3	9

 

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Broncos	14	2	6	0	11	1
Chiefs	5	11	3	3	4	8
Chargers	5	11	2	4	4	8
Raiders	2	14	1	5	2	10

Team	Wins	Loss	Division		Conference
Texans	13	3	5	1	10	2
Colts	9	7	5	1	8	4
Jaguars	4	12	0	6	4	8
Titans	3	13	2	4	3	9

 
So, what does all that mean? Well, due to Tiebreakers, Redskins win the NFC East due to victories over common opponents, Packers win the NFC North due to division record, and there is a mess for the wild cards. here are the seeds:

NFC
Seed	Team
1	Packers
2	Saints
3	Seahawks
4	Redskins
5	Vikings
6	49ers (Beat the Falcons)

AFC
Seed	Team
1	Broncos
2	Texans (Beat the Patriots)
3	Patriots
4	Bengals
5	Steelers
6	Dolphins (Beat the Colts)

Let's see what happens in the Playoffs...

Wild Card Weekend
49ers (6) Vs. Seahawks (3)- They split the season series, and this is the ultimate rubber match. It is tough sledding in the NFC, as I think anybody (except the Redskins) can pick off anybody. Seahawks, with the 12th man, 38-35 in a classic.

Vikings (5) Vs. Redskins (4)- If the Vikings had this matchup last year, they would've advanced at least one more week. Vikings, 28-24.

Dolphins (6) Vs. Patriots (3) - Great run for the improved Dolphins, unfortunately they ran into a Patriot wall. Patriots, 33-20.

Steelers (5) Vs. Bengals (4) - Cincinnati will finally be pumped to see a home playoff game in their house. I think this is the end of the line for a much better than anticipated Steelers season. Bengals, 26-17.

Divisional Round
Seahawks (3) Vs. Saints (2) - Another dream match, added to a dream season for the Saints. I think the Seahawks are still riding high. Seahawks, 45-38.

Vikings (5) Vs. Packers (1) - D'oh!!! At least the Vikings made it one round further than last year, and that's what you want to see, especially when your team was vying for number one overall! Packers, 38-24.

Patriots (3) Vs. Texans (2) - If I was brave, I would say history repeats. It is a rarity in the Belichek-Brady era for them to lose a playoff game at home (even though they did last year). So, I fully believe, Texans, 28-24.

Bengals (4) Vs. Broncos (1) - Broncos will not stand for the one and done last year. But unfortunately that is Peyton Manning's reputation. This game being in Denver, I don't see it. Broncos, 35-20.

Conference Championships
NFC Title Game: Seahawks (3) Vs. Packers (1) - A rematch that if it had happened last season would have been too magical. The mystique of their tainted Monday Night Football game lingers on, this time in Green Bay. I think it comes down to the wire again. I would take players for both teams to be my go to team mates. I want to coin flip this, but I need a solid opinion. Packers, 34-31.

AFC Title Game: Texans (2) Vs. Broncos (1) - History repeats, the Broncos still have the Texans number. Broncos, 34-28.

Super Bowl
Broncos Vs. Packers, in the New Meadowlands of New Jersey. This game will have it all. I think the Manning run has been great last year and through the 2013 season. The addition of Wes Welker has been great. Peyton has been there before and lost. Welker has been there before and lost. Manning has also won, but then he lost. I go with the most recent experience. Packers, 27-24.

There you have it! The entire season, start to finish. Hope your team did what you thought it could.