Cross Miami Off My Future Destination Vacations

Okay. I have been to Miami before. They have a shitty football team, had a good baseball team one year, and have a basketball team aptly named the Heat. However, they also have guys like this whoperform the most heinous crimes. This is a story my friend Brenda told me about over the weekend and I had to look it up more for myself.

Imagine you are just riding your bike along the highway and you see two people fighting. You may make yourself verbal to call attention to the fight. You may, if feeling good samaritanish, help out the one being pummeled. But what do you do if you see one man, naked, pummeling another naked man. It would look like a scene out of "Eastern Promises" (A Russian mafia movie with an all male nude fight scene - or as I call it Russian politics - ZING!). Would your first two options still apply, i.e., some kind of involvement on your end? For real? Man, you are brave. Oh by the way one guy is eating another man's face, growling.

Police recounts say that the man may have been suffering from cocaine psychosis. I do not doubt it and will not entertain stupid zombie talk. A dude on his bicycle rode up on to the scene and saw this fight happening, and then it ended with the one guy eating the other man's face. The witness said it was like he was tearing apart the victim with just his teeth. It sounds worse than a lion eating a dead zebra. A cop rolled up and told the attacker to get off the victim. Allegedly the attacker just slightly raised his head up with flesh in his mouth, blood on his face, and growled. The officer did the only thing he should have done, and shot the attacker, killing him on the scene.

Perhaps the bigger development out of this will come from the family of the attacker who may claim that the deceased had a mental disorder and required help, not death. I am sure that officer will have to deal with what just happened for the rest of his life. I know when you sign up to be a cop, you subject yourself to this. However I would bet the farm not one cop ever expected to see what he had saw on Saturday. Meanwhile, some unfortunate homeless man, who should survive, will have very little left of his face, and no way to keep himself safe once he gets put back in the streets. Now a homeless man in Miami missing his face will be on the streets to scare the masses. It is not fair to the victim or the citizens of Miami.

Enough high horse. This is in the lead for my most insane story of the year thus far.

NOW That's What I Call Music! Vol. Duba

So, who is the greatest two-person band you never heard of? Well, their name is Local H. They are an independent band from Chicago that is not on a big record label blah blah blah. 

Now, when I hear the term "indie rock" I immediately picture some nerd with glasses who thinks that the music they listen to is the best. You know, the type of person who thinks Radiohead has way better songs than "Creep". And this type of person also says "phenomenal" a lot.

So I first heard Local H on 103.9 WDRE before it became whatever unlistenable channel it has become today. I think it was in 1994. I remember hearing this song where the singer just kept singing "I don't need my ego fed" over and over again. Then the guitars and louder version of the same line was repeated over and over again. The song was the same exact line throughout, and the music would pick up slow to fast, low to hard. I thought it was cool and just happened to catch the radio at the right time. You know, that time when you are in the middle of a bunch of songs but the announcer comes on to tell you who you just heard. I hated when I would hear a good song and not get to hear who it was. Luckily with the advent of Shazam (and I am talking about the app "shazam" and not Russia's number 1 movie 10 years running featuring Shaqueel Oneil as a genie) you do not even really need a DJ anymore. Anywho, I heard this song, then my mom took me to Blockbuster Music. That store was awesome. You could preview an entire CD before you purchased it. I listened to 3 songs and knew I had to have their first CD - Ham Fisted. They have one of my favorite songs of all time, and I have loved it for almost 20 years. The song is called "Cynic" and the music is just so great - fast, rocking, catchy. The lyrics could have been applied to any part of my life up until a few years ago. Good rock songs on this CD and a great initial effort.

The next album, "As Good as Dead" I think was maybe their most successful? It has the one or two songs everybody probably knows who listened to alternative rock in the 90s - Bound for the Floor (you may know it if I just told you it had the word "copacetic" in it). The other "hit" song on it was High-Fiving MF. It was like two years after I had bought Ham Fisted and the announcer gets on the air and says, "Well, this song will probably get me fired, but it has to be heard." Sure enough there was a drum beat, and that went on for like half a minute before I heard Scott Lucas' voice singing "You high fiving mother fucker". I was like whoa this guy is fired. The song's verses are that line over and over again, with a chorus about how cheesy some guy is that he knows. And it ends with him screaming you high fiving mother fucker over and over again. It sounds cheesy, but it rocks. This album was pretty good. The best song on the album is "Fritz's Corner" and is one of the best rocking songs they have. I love it just a little less than Cynic.

Two years later (1998), they released "Pack up the Cats". I heard this was their most critically acclaimed album. The feature song was "All the Kids are Right". This song was good, but in just "meh" to me when I compare it to the rest of their catalog. The 4th through 14th tracks are just so good for a rock album (especially these days when the Britney Spears and backstreet Boys started coming up  my favorite song is the first song, "All right, oh yeah." This song often helps me start my day on the right foot.

Local H left their label after it was bought out by some giant label and then went independent for the rest of their career up to the presentthe next album was "Here Comes the Zoo".  The black guy on the drums was replaced with some guy called Brian St. Claire. The abum starts with a lot of drumming power  the only bad thing on his album is the first song on this album, "Hands on the Bible". I find it to be both shallow and padantic. however, every song after that I would put up in my top 10 of Local H songs. My favorites are "Keep Your Girlfriend" and "What Would You have me Do?" The latter is a good song for 5 minutes, then the next five minutes is the chorus of this song, and they slowly add vocals from all of the other 9 songs, one by one.  I love it.

The next album was "Whatever Happened to P.J. Soles?" if I could rone album from their catolog it would be this one. The songs are not terrible, just nothing really stands out with the exception of "How's the Weather Down There?" Like I said, it is nowhere near worthy of the top 3 Local H albums, but a bad Local H album is better than none.

Four years later, they released a "concept album" called 12 Angry Months. When I hear concept album I immediately want to tell the band to just shut up and sing music. I do not care about what theme you are trying to portray and the bottom line is I pay you to sing for me. So just fucking sing. That being said, this album is pretty good. There are twelve songs. The songs are either numbered or listed as months, and then the title. All the emotions that go on over the first year after a big breakup and so on. I had certainly started my long recovery from a breakup as this album came out. I have a tie for best songs, "The One With Kid" and "Hand to Mouth". Those are both the first and last song. The first song starts slow and then just rocks out the rest of the way. The last song is a slow build where they sing about how when you are able to live at rock bottom, you can appreciate everything else big or small.

There are some other miscellaneous albums out there. There is the "Local H Mixed Tape" - a collection of cover songs of other independent bands (not as bad as it sounds and best song is Wolf Like Me); "No Fun E.P." - just a collection of 6 or 7 songs, I like the title track to this; "Alive '05" - a live album up to the PJ Soles album years followed by a cover of the ultimate Britney Spears song Toxic; some other demo albums they released with nothing very impressive.

There is nothing else really to say about this band. I saw them live once, and they rocked. Their fans are loyal, and the band rewards their fans. The electricity went out in the X-Games parking lot in 2002 and Local H finished the last song, playing the drums harder and Scott singing louder.

They are in my top five for as long as I can remember and will always hold that spot as well.

Slow Day at Work

So today, I woke up at 345 to come up to a jobsite in Elizabeth, NJ. When it comes to ranking New Jersey cities from the bottom up, Elizabeth is right toward the bottom. I am "lucky" enough to be in the industrial side rather than the ghetto ass Spanish paradise portion. That portion is so bad. Every car plays louder shitty music than the next. People have conversations from one side of the street to another. And it is almost always in Spanish. Need ice for your sample cooler? That is an impossible thing to ask for. I ask for ice and they say back "helado?" - Spanish for ice cream. I say, "No" - Spanish for no. I am not one of those "speak English or get out" people, but I do have a limit. God forbid I needed directions or had an emergency.


And I just took my first note in 30 minutes that a truck arrived to load out dirt. Back to my blog...


So yeah I hate Elizabeth, NJ. Other towns I greatly dislike include West New York and Union City. Oddly enough, those two cities are neighbors, but the trash stays the same. There was human shit at the door to one of my sites in Union once. A young Hispanic boy attacked my car there one day as well. I mean he was like 5 years old. And the parents just let him do it.


If Florida is America's wang and New Jersey is the unshaven armpit of America, then these three cities are ingrown hairs festering boils.
-Jim Duba

My Night Last Night

Last night a lot of TV watching ensued after dinner.

Dinner - Kim made some kind of pork awesomeness smothered with garlic and garlic coated potatos. She is always putting down her own cooking but it is tremendous. I am very much looking forward to lunch this afternoon with leftover greatness. Her best meals so far have come from pork. Rocco and I are lucky guys.

American Idol - Yeah. I have watched almost the entire season. The auditions can be entertaining, but I tended to not like the type of slow loud soft ballad voices that come out of the contest. The past couple years though they have given some rock-type guys a break. Actually, that Adam Lambert fella seemed like the most original guy on the show during his season. Kim is a big fan of the show, and I always hoped they would have somebody more unique than the type of song you would hear on the crap pop stations. Sure enough, a guy named Philip Philips won, with his original take on songs and a decent original song. It is not my cup of tea of music, but I can listen to that type of music as opposed to the other finalist's brand of said soft ballad loud slow songs. I am glad this kid won. Kim and I debated who said Philip would win first. I think I said it during his audition, but she claims it was her and I eventually came around before the competition started. Either way, it felt good to see a guy win who just loves music and what he does with music. However, the 2 hour spectacle leading up to the big announcement was horrible. I did like Philip with John Fogerty and that black kid Joshua is kind of entertaining - especially when he just sings like a wildman. Jessica, the other finalist, sang a song with some grammy winner who looked like the cowardly lion. Her screaming and facial expressions had me laughing out loud (that's "lol" for you lazy, younger generations). And when he won, and he was singing his song, during the break of the song, he tried playing his guitar, tried to sing, but the band kept going and the background vocals kept going. See, Philip rarely let the weight of the show impact him, at least on the TV. He always let the criticism, fan reaction, and praise roll off his back. However, to see him breakdown on TV, finally taking in the enormity of it all, he took off his guitar, holding back tears, and embraced his family. Finally, a refreshingly good moment on TV.

Sixers force a Game 7 at Boston - It has been years since my last major interest in basketball. However, I have been following the Sixers almost all year. I do not really watch the games, but I track them, watch the score, and read the recaps. They have flown under the radar most of the year despite the big jump they had on the season. It was like the media knew they would fizzle out, and they did for a while. They lost a potentially top 3 seed in the championship tournament and dropped down to the 8th and final spot for the playoffs. They have a bunch of young kids and not one real superstar. So, they make the playoffs and catch a break with the number 1 seed's best player going down harder than a Russian Mail Order Bride on delivery day. They seized the moment and took the Bulls past their limit. They are facing one of the oldest yet well balanced teams in the NBA in the Boston Celtics. So I turned on the game after Kim went to bed and saw the Sixers hold onto the lead and beat the Celtics by like 7 or 8 points. The last 2 minutes can be nerve racking, especially when the announcers talk like the Celtics would come back. Yet some out of bounds calls and again another last minute clutch set of free throws by Andre Iguodola sealed the deal. The Sixers, one of only a handful of 8 seeds to knock off a 1 seed in the NBA history, are now playing with house money and stand to go into a rematch with potentially the Miami Heat for the right to play in the finals. Nobody expects anything out of this team past the first round, but screw that. Win the championship. Or at least do your best and give it all for your chance at it.

NFL Network's Top 10 Kick Return Aces - I got to relive the boxing of the Giants' goal post by Vai all over again. I got to appreciate Brian Mitchell's awesomeness. I do, however, agree with the rankings of Devin Hester #1. As a football fan of mostly just the past 10 years or so, I have never seen somebody do what everybody expects him to do (the analysts on this show said the same thing, which I more agree with than came up with myself). I remember the Bears getting obliterated by the Colts in the Superbowl a few years ago, but I also remember that the game was better than it really was because of the opening kickoff return by Hester. Whether he has played 4 or 5 years as opposed to a body of work Mitchell did over 13 years, whoever holds records should be #1. Field position is great and all, but when you have an inept offense (at the time), and you could have your special teams deliver more than good position, that certainly should rank you higher than most.

Family Guy: Peter learns he is retarded - He calls his ex girlfriend from high school, tells her that he is retarded and she better get herself checked.

Sleep - Rocco comes in at about 3 in the morning, scared out of his mind. He saw some monster with red eyes. We let him sleep with us. I really have never seen him so scared of anything before. His bedroom light was on. I turned the lights off to see what may be red that freaked him out. I do take some blame for this as the other day, while watching Monster Week on Animal Planet, we started looking up "cryptozoology" things we saw on their website. There was one demon-like looking figure that had glowing yellow eyes that I think rattled him. I tried convincing him it was fake, but I do not think he can get that image out of his head. I used to have a recurring nightmare when I was a kid, and eventually a couple times as an adult. This man, looking like a frozen Frankenstein monster, would slowly open up the closet door and come out just to strangle me. I would have trouble yelling for help and often would wake up yelling "Help!" very loudly. One time I remember my mom coming into my room after one such dream, but I pretended to be asleep because I was embarrassed. Regardless, I hope that whatever he thinks he saw was just part of a bad dream. I am pretty tired by the end of the day to be fighting off red-eyed night creatures.

Duba's Week in Review

Yup. This post is exactly what the title suggests it is. Come with me as I take a look back at the week that was (Monday 5/14/12 to Monday 5/21/12).

So, my coworker Matt and his fiance got married on Saturday, May 19 in the Outer Banks (OBX for you who like to write in douche-terms) of North Carolina. Matt Barrett ruined any potential thought I had about visiting this place after his tour de force review of Nags Head and other Outer Banks wonderfulness three years ago. "You know where they don't have cancer? Nags Head...In Nags Head, the sun goes down only when you want it to...Jesus' first home was in Nags Head because his second home was heaven." You know, that kind of excuberance.

So, when Matt said he was inviting me and my betrothed to his wedding in the Outer Banks, I thought to myself, "self, maybe it's time to see what Matt was going on and on and on and on and on and on and on about." Sure enough, we accepted the gracious invite, packed our bags, and started our trip Monday night.

Monday

The most boring of all the vacation days. Why? Because we left at 9 p.m. for a 7 hour drive. The drive down isn't the type of drive through the south I have ever been used to where I would take I-95 for miles and miles. This was a US Route 1/13 special that would be full of single lanes, traffic lights, bridges, and tunnels. During the summer months this path through Delaware is painful. This time of year at this time of night, the only thing painful about the trip was the $100 speeding ticket I got. They drop the speed from 55 to 45 to 35 back up to 45 then 55 in like a 5 mile stretch of this highway a couple times. I was going 62 and did not see any of these signs. Sure enough, a cop came from way behind me with his lights on, told me that I was 62 in a 45. But he "cut me a break" and charged me only 54 in a 45. Thanks, Deputy Bag (his badge read "D. Bag"). I pushed on, though, because that's what any good man will do. I was in or just about out of Maryland I believe by...

Tuesday - Part 1

This is "Part 1" because I was still driving. I continued on until arriving in Corolla, North Carolina, at 4 in the morning. The last 3 hours of this trip were brutal. I was rather awake, but there is a section of 13 that consists of like 20+ miles of a bridge/tunnel combination with no where to pull over. I had to urinate so bad when I entered the bridge. The only break I saw, after the first tunnel, was an emergency pull off. I felt like I had an emergency. I pulled off, only to see a cop car sitting just a tad bit further up the road, so I pulled back on and kept going. Finally, before entering interstate 64 I found a Wawa to assist in my bodily functions. Then, when I was on the last two hour leg of my journey, the off and on rain/fog started. Through the fog/rain/high beams/low beams combination, I saw several cop cars hiding in the bushes, looking for somebody like me. Luckily I was extremely careful with my speed after Monday's bullshit traffic stop. Eventually I made it onto the Outer Banks. The last hour of  my trip probably should have taken about 20-30 minutes, but it took over an hour. So much for it never raining, eh Matthew? The rain was so heavy it woke up Kim and took me another hour to get to the house. I couldn't see 10 feet in front of me.

Tuesday - Part 2

I woke up on a shitty bunk bed maybe two hours after we arrived. I tried going out to the pool (I just spelled it "pull" and stared at it knowing that wasn't the right word for about a minute), but we were so tired. There was not much that made us feel good. My coworkers Tara, Lisa, and Spencer were already at the house and up, readying for golf. A stranger, Jen, was there as well. All I remember was Tara dropping a cigarette ash in my ear from the third floor and me getting extremely pissed about it. I think the rest of the day played out with me switching from our house hot tub and swimming pool. I think I also went out to the Food Lion where Kim and I got some supplies. Eventually, the housemates prepared dinner which was extremely excellent. Kim and I did the dishes while watching Glee. This was a big episode, yet I couldn't convince Spencer of that so he turned it off to play his hippie bullshit and then walk outside. Kim and I resumed Glee watching in the basement and the rest of the night to me was a humongous blur. I heard my other coworker Michelle come in some time after everybody else went out clubbing. I don't remember Tuesday much.

Wednesday

Everybody in the house minus Kim, Michelle, and me went on a fishing excursion. I am allergic to being on top of the ocean so I sat this one out. So, the three of us went to the beach. It was decently cool water, but I promised Kim and Rocco that I wouldn't get eaten by a bull shark so I stayed on land. See, as we learned the week before our excursion, this time of year is the bull shark mating season, and apparently shark-humping makes them even more aggressive and hungry. We sat on the beach, hoping to see crabs, only to see a storm coming instead. We got home just before a crazy ass storm came along. At 7:45 in the evening, we all went to a restaurant called Mike Dianna's. Fortunately it was restaurant week in the Outer Banks, and this place was first on Kim and I hitlist. I had a lobster bisque, followed by some asiany type of salmon, followed by peanut butter pie. Needless to say, a food coma soon followed thereafter.

Thursday

Thursday was a windy, cool, grey day. The exact OPPOSITE of anything Matt had bragged about. The golden coast had become the sandy crust, and tales of the bluest skies was a bunch of lies. It forced me to sign up for HBO Go and catch up with Game of Thrones. And East Bound and Down. And then McGruber, which finally helped me sleep. After our powernaps, we got all jazzed up and went to the Mee-Armstrong family barbecue. Spencer filled a cooler with his beers, and I filled one with Pabst Blue Ribbons and Michelle's Corona Lights. Thank Jesus it was in coolers with wheels and pull up handles. I followed Spencer up the driveway into the BBQ entrance, only to snag on a piece of mulch. Sure enough, I fell and the cooler tilted backwards, spilling out all the ice and beers. One of the cans punctured and the rest were completely shaken. I think only a few people saw it.

As I always expected, anything involving food and Matt Mee will always result in overeating. The food was plentiful and delicious. However, the wind got to be too much and we all went back to put on warmer clothes. By this point in time, Matt's boss, Chris, had arrived at the house and joined our crew. In fact, he was one of the few to see me fall. What ensued was a night of drinking, me looking like I was going to be good at billiards only to blow the game, losing two games of beer pong, and then stuffing my face with stuffed meats from the Armstrong-family house in the wee hours of the morning. Kim and I couldn't stop eating. We made our way back to the house and enjoyed some night swimming in the pool and hot tub.

Friday

Ah yes. Friday was still the exact opposite of the weather conditions Matt would have described three years before in his "Top 1,000,000 Reasons to Visit Nags Head" dissertation. However, Kim and I decided that this was it and anything we wanted to do outside had to happen this day. So, we shimmied on down to Nags Head to see what all the hullabaloo was about. In a nutshell, it was like Wildwood, New Jersey, without the boardwalk. It was less congested, but what I saw was the same old same old. We found Nags Head Water Sports and rented a jet ski for an hour. We have ridden tandem on a jet ski before so we looked forward to this again. However, five minutes into our trip, with brackish water blasting her in the face and the cold air making her into an icecicle, Kim asked me to drop her off at the shore. I did, and I took on the waves for the rest of the hour. I ran them all right. I almost flew off at one point, topping off my speed at 55 miles per hour. I absolutely love jet skiing. I want to win some money for the sole purpose of buying one. The instructors and safety crew were all very nice and helpful. The other 20 to 22 year old riders were lame and couldn't keep up with ol' man Duba.

After I pulled out and changed, Kim and I explored the outlet shops. She found a bunch of clothes for me, her, and Rocco, and we headed home. We later had dinner at a restaurant called Northern Banks. For the first time in my life, I ate a whole lobster. It was weird. I insisted on eating its face, but Kim eventually talked me out of it. I was enjoying it until I ate just enough meat past the tail where the green-black-purple guts of the lobster poured out. It looked like somebody shit an infection. I was not very good at cracking open the claws as Kim was squirted with lobster juices and I had lobseter meat all over me. This was a unique experience for me and delicious, but the "crab grenades" we had for appetizers were tremendous. I cannot recall what it was, but it had crab and teriyaki and wasabi, all deep fried. I had some good dessert too. We went home, continued drinking some of our beer, and engaged in more hot tub-pool transferring.

Saturday

The big day, well, at least for Matt and Nicole (not the Matt who steered me wrong about the wonderfully beautiful Nags Head/Outerbanks but rather my coworker Matt and his future wife). Kim departed to get her nails did by one of the few Asian nail salons probably in all of North Carolina. As she was out, I put on my beach walking shoes and walked up and down, resulting in most of these pictures. It was uneventful, but nice. Actually it was kind of cool. I like the beach and admire the power of the ocean, and so I enjoyed this little time to myself. I came back, Kim had gotten home, and most of us were doing last minute sunning by the pool. I boiled in the hot tub, then the pool. Four people were sharing our bathroom, so I opted to use one of the outside showers to prepare for the wedding. As nice as our house was, the outdoor shower was terrible. It was clearly meant for pre/post-pool washing only, not sanitary washing. The wind was blowing so strong that any part of me that was not in the water stream was freezing. The water pressure very lightly pushed the soap off my glistening body and arm hair. Plus, there was no way to latch the door shut, so every gust of wind made the door open slightly and slam shut. I was worried about exposing myself. Luckily, it didn't happen, and Kim and I were ready like an hour early. Except I had no belt. Fortunately, Chris had a spare belt that I was able to wear comfortably.

The wedding was fantastic. It was basically outdoors, and the Mee-Armstrongs had the most beautiful day of the week and best temperature. Very fitting for their day. The scenery with the sunny skies, calm water, and varied landscape was picturesque. The wedding started right on time as both the Groom and Bride were already standing together with the bridal party. There was probably half a mile between the wedding area and the last building at the Whalehead Club so they all had to be together. They played some music and the bridal party did some quirky dancing all the way down aisle, and again and again and again. It was very funny and cool and unique for a wedding. The ceremony went great, they both agreed to be married, and then cocktail hour started. I do not remember much of what was there, but they had what I could possibly call the GREATEST crudite ever. A buffet style meal of a couple fancy plates of food followed by a cake made up of cupcakes completed our week of gorging. I enjoyed several beers, whiskey and coke, and champagne as we watched everybody gracefully enjoy the party. Really good wedding, in a nutshell.

There was an after party, but Kim and I were trying to go to Virginia Beach early the next day to make up for lost beach time, so we left after the wedding. We packed and tried to watch some SNL, but it was game over pretty quickly for us after the wedding.

Sunday
Nothing much to report on this day. We woke up early, checked the weather and saw that the entire east coast's weather was not suitable for shoregoing. We hopped in the car and made the long drive back. I think leaving vacation is always longer and worse than going to vacation. I left a tip for the chamber maid and packed the last bag and away we we went. We stopped at some fly-ridden diner in Maryland that had food that was just good enough to be edible. We almost went to some farmer's market in Delaware, but at the last possible second Kim read it was closed and I was able to make the I-95 Exit. We got home mid afternoon. I went on the trampoline with Rocco at his grandparents house and we were treated to another great meal by Karen that was a good sign of "welcome home."

FINAL THOUGHTS
I think, therefore I am.

I do not understand that phrase, but oh well. Overall, the week as a great break from the norm. Had Rocco been with us, I do not know if he would have had the time of his life like he did at Wildwood, NJ, last year. I heard a pretty stupid rumor that a lot of people were mad about the weather conditions and would express these useless thoughts to the bridal party. I know when we went to the BBQ, Nicole came up to Kim and I to apologize about the weather, but that did not upset us in the least. The most important thing is that the right weather occurred on the right day for the right people. Besides, it is still just the middle of May. It was not like August or mid-summer. I cannot imagined the things people would say if this was in the heart of hurricane season.

The Outerbanks, well, if I had enough money, I still do not know if I would make that my vacation destination. The legit seafood was good, the lack of people was great - yet it just felt like a random isolated beach town. It is mostly geared towards tourists no matter what part of the banks you stay at. We saw one school on the whole place, and it was not even that big. The Dunkin Donuts by our house had a small sign that read for the first time in 60 years, Corolla will have a school again. It was a one room school house, but hopefully by now you get where I am going.

Like I said, no matter what I think about the Outer Banks itself, the scene was perfect and everything fell just right for Saturday's wedding and I could not be any happier for Matt and Nicole. Best of luck to them both and safest of trips to them as they travel on their honeymoon.

Random Outer Banks Pictures

Panoramandoneum!

Just a couple panoramic photos i have been messing with whilst on vacation.

Movie Review - The Cabin in the Woods

Okay, so I read some reviews about this movie that spanned from horrible to great to stupid to innovative. There is no way to review this movie properly without revealing anything, so if you hope for a surprise, f*ck off. Just kidding. The beginning of the movie, within the opening scene, reveals the entire plot anyway. We saw a trailer for the movie a couple hours before we decided to see it. As the trailer went on, Kim said she had seen enough and wanted to go watch it. I watched the whole thing and saw that this would not be a typical horror movie.

The biggest thing this movie does is perhaps the one thing we both hate the most about movies. You know how characters sit at like a diner and start talking to each other, but it is in a way that reveals things about their character. In scenes like this, you ask yourself, "Self, when would I EVER talk like that with somebody - be it a stranger or a friend?" Most likely never. However, the men in the control room are the father from "Step Brothers" and the villain from "Billy Madison" - I do not and probably never will know their names. They did a terrific job though. They discuss what they need to do in the control room and how other places around the world are doing. So, my review needs to reveal the plot for anything to make sense and intrigue you into seeing the movie.

Okay, so every year, 4 to 5 sacrifices must be made in a certain order so that "The Ancients" do not rise and destroy the world. Not the plot you expect for a movie about college kids going to a cabin for the weekend to die. It turns out, this is a year long vetting process and things happen that these guys control over a year so that people will get up to this cabin to be killed. That's just in America. There are places all over the world with the same group trying to appease the ancients. Whether all the other places around the world do it first - as long as the sacrifices are made, the world is safe. Okay? Oh, and bottom line - the American base has a 100% "clear rate" - USA USA USA!!!

So Thor cut his hair and got tiny and takes a bunch of no named actors to a new cabin his brother or cousin bought. You have the whore (some whore), the jock (Thor), the Scholar (I think he was an asiany guy?), the fool (a funny high-pitched stoner guy who would've been better to play Shaggy), and the virgin. Of course you don't realize these are the people to be sacrificed in that order until Sigourney Weaver shows up at the end to explain it. All five of these college kids are pretty enlightened and actually seem like a nice group of friends.

Thor wants the virgin to hook up with the scholar, so that's one subplot. The fool is high out of his mind. They drive up this mountain and must cross through a tunnel. As they go through one end of the tunnel, a hawk flies from one side of the mountain trying to go to the other side where the end of the tunnel is. The hawk gets electrocuted and an invisible-electric grid fence is shown.

Long story short, the guys in the control room use different gases to alter the realities of the college kids. The house is set up to have the basement door open up and the kids go check it out, looking at the old artifacts. The control room is so advanced, they have unlimited "nightmare scenarios" locked up underneath the house. Hear me out. They have zombies, zombie families, some butcher with saw blades in his head, giant spiders, serpents, teeth-faced girls, ghosts, evil robots. Each coed picks up some artifact they find in the basement. These are all just symbols for their respective nightmare. Meanwhile, the people and staff in the control room are taking bets on what group will be picked to do the killing. Some zombie family wins, and engineering plus an intern win the grand prize. It was actually rather humorous.

So the guys in the control room use gases and scenery to steer the kids into the zombie family. They can't control the zombies, but can make the kids encounter the zombies in the order they need to be killed. This is not revealed until later in the movie, and has little impact on your enjoyment of the movie. Ultimately we learn that 4 of the 5 need to die, and the virgin is optional. The zombies are pretty cool looking for zombies. The other nightmares that you get to see are pretty cool looking too. I like the werewolf and the eventual revelation of the merman is funny.

The "nightmares" trapped in boxes below the basement I believe are just a way for the people in the control room to have some "fun" with this annual killing event. The old days used to just be a slaughter, but these people must feel they are above that. So they have some crazy shit locked underground to release for their amusement.

Overall, I could give this movie a B. But a really GOOD B. Like a B before the class curve was adjusted due to the highest scoring movie the Avengers getting an A+. So with the curve, B+ to Cabin in the Woods. Enough of this letter math.

I enjoyed this movie a lot, as did Kim. There were a decent number of people in the theater considering this movie has been out for weeks and other great box office movies have been killing it. Plus, we were near Temple University, and with "Think Like A Man" also playing, I am surprised at the number of people there. Anywho, the movie had those moments that made me jump, some intense moments that had Kim gripping my arm hard, good effects, good action, and great comedy throughout. Normal people who reviewed this movie gave me the impression that this movie was either going to be fun to watch or fun to make fun of. I am pleased it was the former. I was very entertained from start to finish. Kim was enthralled with it as well. I think it is a good fun movie for a date, if the kids today still do the dinner/movie thing as opposed to rainbow parties and whipit parties.

As I think back about it, I like how the beginning of the movie reveals that there is a secret society of people controlling the whole thing. If the zombies showed up, tracked everyone down, and we didn't see things like the hawk fly into the fence or the control room scenes, then all of a sudden at the end it was revealed that it was a controlled killing scenario, I would've thought it was stupid. Once they told me it was absurd, I enjoyed the movie. Start to finish.

My favorite scene has to be Thor's death scene. In the beginning of the movie, you see the hawk fly into the fence and die. As the kids try to go back out the tunnel the control room caves it in and the kids retreat back down the road. They had a motorcycle attached to the back of their RV. Thor says he is going to jump the canyon and goes into a heroic diatribe about bringing them all help and they will survive. Meanwhile, I am laughing because I know he is going to die. I know he is going to get halfway across and die. In midair. Then he jumps. And he dies. And slides down the fence into a seemingly bottomless pit. I lost it hysterically laughing.

I guess I mentioned a lot about the movie without actually giving away too much. You see the setup from the beginning. You get to like the characters, even the killers in the control room. You honestly don't know what will happen. And the movie had enough jump in your seat moments and I had several laughs. It was like a horror version of the Avengers (same guy wrote and directed it). It was a romping good time.

Two thumbs way up.

Philadelphia Sports True-False-Or-To-Be-Determined

Okay, I stole this topic idea from another website but I plan to apply the theme to my own agenda. I will make three statements about the active teams in Philadelphia right now (this would not be possible to write if the Flyers had advanced in the playoffs and are less than a week into the off-season).

The Philadelphia Eagles will have a great, much improved season - TRUE

I think this is bold, and despite my obvious bias to this team as noted in this site's color scheme, I am pretty confident in this. I picked the Eagles in my 50th celebration blog to go 12 and 4. In hindsight, I can see 11 and 5. That would make winning the NFC East a little tricky. However, I do not see, barring major injuries, anything stopping the Eagles from being a juggernaut. Their defense improved last year, and while it may be a "fool's gold" scenario, if you don't beat the poor teams, how can you beat the good ones? The Eagles have a lot of good teams to compete with this year. They play against 7 playoff teams from last season, including the Super Bowl champs. They play the real toughest division in football, the AFC North. Then the second toughest (NFC East) and the third toughest (NFC South). They have garnered depth in key spots including linebacker. The only worry I have is Demeco Ryans adapting to the Wide 9 scheme and LT Demetres Bell being a viable replacement for Jason Peters. I think with a happy Desean Jackson, a hungry Lesean Mccoy (collectively known as "Los Seans" to me), and a desperate coach and QB, and a defense looking for redemption, this could be a great season. I still predict them making the Super Bowl. However, if they go 11-5, they will be the 5th seed and not win the NFC East. I just hope that if that is the case, it will be the 2008-2009 season all over again, with better results. I hope the Eagles realize they have to, and CAN, earn every victory, not just expect it.

Andre Iguodala Redeemed his middling years in Philadelphia - TO BE DETERMINED

Not a big watch-basketball-on-TV guy, but I read almost every recap of every Philadelphia team. I tuned to the 76ers-Bulls game JUST AFTER the game ended and was upset I missed something historic. All (shortened) season long I heard morning show after morning show trash Andre to the degree that he should be traded or benched or catapulted out of Philadelphia. He is almost like the Donovan McNabb of basketball. With less success. However, as seen here, he was dominant for 5 seconds of critical action. I always thought the last two minutes of basketball are the most crucial, as I have seen a team come back from 10 points down and win with two minutes to go. The drive and determination of Iguodala to get the rebound, drive down the court with his eyes fixed to the net, to desire to let the team ride or die on his shoulders, was pretty impressive. I don't know if that was any kind of designed play or if he just willed it to happen. Then, one of the worst free-throw shooters in the league swished the two baskets he will probably be the most remembered for at the moment. This one play, after watching it several times, was very Allen Iverson-esque. So, has he redeemed himself? No. He needs to play like this in the next series, and if possible, beyond the next series. The 76ers are now playing with house money. Sure, they beat an injured bulls team, but the Bulls without Derrick Rose still wone 2/3 of those games. Maybe that Noah guy was hurt, but the good teams, especially a number 1 seed, should find a way to win against a team that struggled down the second half of a season as well as the second half of the elimination game. If Iguodala plays like he did in these five seconds for the series against the Celtics, win lose or draw he should redeem himself. If he continues to play like the frustration sensation, then he will be out of the city next year. Go 76ers!

When the remainder of the Phillies lineup is healthy, they will get back to World Series form - FALSE

As much as I hate baseball discussion, I truly believe the Phillies will be in trouble this year. Philadelphia fans are quick to react to negativity. Baseball is very fluid. The last time the phillies were this many games below .500, was 2007 where they rallied from some ridiculously large number of games behind the Mets to win the first of 5 consecutive NL East penants. However, only one player in the current lineup still remains from that team - Jimmy Rollins. Who is old. Returning from injury in the foreseeable future are Ryan Howard and Chase Utley - who are both old. I expect more from Ryan Howard than Chase Utley - who should probably hang it up at the end of the year. They do bring a different strategy to pitching against the Phillies, however. Howard and Utley may not do so great like back in the day, but they could certainly positively influence others in the lineup. I am not concerned about that. The real concern should be at pitching. Halladay, an ace, gave up how many runs to the Mets? Aren't they baseball's joke? Cole Hamels, another ace, intentionally (and admittedly) beans a 19 year old punk to prove an imaginary point and is suspended? Cliff Lee, an ace, wait, didn't he blow a game against the Cardinals that turned the series around(?), is returning from injury, only to get shelled, that he sustained while pitching into the 10th inning? Vance Worley and Joe Blanton are serviceable. Kyle Kendrick is back to his team-suicide self. The great Papelbon has already blown a save and is asked to pitch 4-6 out saves as opposed to the brilliant three out saves Brad Lidge provided in 2008. If you think the lineup is the problem, which has shown signs and highs-lows in the past couple games, is the problem, then you are delusional. The pitching is the problem. The Phillies should have the team built around Cole Hamels moving forward. Keep up the playoff appearances and the remaining and available better players will always come knocking on your door. When the Phillies fall apart, they fall hard. This is not going to be a good year and the sell-outs will stop and they may just miss the playoffs, and it won't even be close.

How do Russians train for the Olympics?

Like THIS! Please Click!

The Russians are my underdogs to win the gold at this year's Olympic Gymnastics competitions with moves like this!

Welcome Belgium

I appreciate you taking the time

to read my blog so I could make that rhyme.

I wanted to ask David Beckham

If he knew what rhymed with Belgium

But I heard he crashed into a tree, an elm.

He cracked several teeth to be filled with amalgam

So I turned to a long lost friend Brian Selm

Who was in some crazy mud race bedlam

and through the mud I couldn't see his emblem.

So I cranked up the latest tune from Lady Antebellum

As I descended down the alps performing a slalom.

At the bottom of the hill wasn't the usual worker Malcom

But instead was a stand-in, if you will, a locum.

The man acted like a jerk and was obviously missing his lingum

I stopped. Gathered my thoughts. Looked deep inside my head down to the cerebellum

I rushed immediately to the Public Library of Harlem

But it was full with students in their practicum

The course was on metals such as Vanadium Thallium and Titanium

So then I took a bus deep into Alabama, down to Pelham

And I must say their libraries doth underwhelm

So I hopped on a schooner and took control of the helm

As I left land saddened I hopped up on hypericum

I stopped in Africa and conversed with a Mallam.

I had no idea what he said so I ignored him

Despite the bad seas the ship was made with oakum

And my sea sickness was better, just a modicum

of what I have felt before when I wished I was at the sea's bottom

(By now I hope you have added this blog entry onto your Stickum)

I came across a small but widely used consortium

As a book of words derived from ancient Irish ogham

I quickly was confused by my journey and checked my trusty vade mecum

And realized suddenly I had to stop - Why am I rhyming about Belgium?



The Avengers - The Perfect Movie

So, Saturday night, I had the privilege of seeing what I believe is one of the best movies I have seen in quite sometime. No jokes - The Avengers really is that good. There are very few things you need to know about the characters' prior movies except: Thor fights Loki, Captain America was frozen, the Hulk is green, and Iron Man is awesome. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I love movies with explosions and huge rule the earth type scenarios. Particularly key in these types of movies is the destruction of cities such as Washington D.C., Los Angeles, New York, and Paris. The movie Independence Day was the innovator at this in the movies. Armageddon had some of it. Then the various movies kept up the tradition. As superhero movies advanced, the focus become one particular city getting demolished. The Avengers movie leaves New York City completely leveled. I like that. I do not mean like a couple buildings explode, but rather like every building gets shattered and flattened. 

Several movies occurred prior to this release to already introduce the characters that would join together for ths story. It is hard to tell if the writers overall wrote the movies for Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Hulk with the Avengers in mind, as the intertwined stories came to a head as well as advancing the timeline of each character.

So, now that I have really revealed nothing about the movie, let me describe a little about each major character:

The Hulk: Played by Mark Ruffalo rather than Ed Norton, his character is the only one to be played by somebody new. I thought he did great, and making Ruffalo's face the base for the Hulk was more realistic. However, Bruce Banner always looked like he was about to crack up every second. This incarnation of the Hulk was incredible. No pun intended. His destruction of Loki was both painful and hilarious. The Hulk only appears twice, but each time is epic and for a long period of time.

Ironman: Just like Iron Man 2, Tony Stark has matured and realized he needs to be part of the greater good. The capabilities of Iron Man are awesome and he has become, in my opinion, the most realistic superhero of all of them. Even his remote controlled suit to attach to him while he is falling was pretty cool and realistic (for a movie about alien armies and gods).

Thor: I thought the Thor movie was awesome. He was pretty awesome as a team player and his fight with Iron Man was indeed epic. He was the only character whose hair actually appeared to get messed up during the couple day long span the movie occurred over, you know, while fighting an alien invasion. When he throws the hammer at the Hulk it basically traps him to ground and was a pretty cool movie scene. I like his medievil speak too.

Captain America: His movie was my least favorite, just because I was not too fond of the World War II era fights. He crashes a plain and buries an energy source with him. However, in this movie, his innocent mind and 1940s language was a good bit of comic relief.

Black Widow: Meh. I don't really even think she is as hot as everybody says she is. She is a good actress and plays a decent super spy. She actually has a pretty decent role in the movie and is responsible for bringing one of the key characters into the mix. Her character held her own.

Hawkeye: The Lamest of all the Heroes. However, he is crucial to the movie as one of Loki's serveants. It took till almost the end of the movie, but the man finally ran out of arrows. I am all for a guy with a great skill being a superhero, but does he have to fight with this bow as well? It is just weird and I wouldn't think it would be anything painful.

Other Characters:
Samuel L. Jackson was great and didn't even have to curse. Nick Fury's eye has some veins coming out of it, but his condition has never been explained in a movie as far as I know. That SHIELD agent who is in every one of these movies so far - Fury calls him creepy, he is a big fan of Captain America, he stands up to Loki, and actually shows some personality beyond dry humor. Some taller woman with shortly cropped black hair is Nick Fury's right hand woman, and I really don't think she was anything crucial to the movie.

Loki was way better of a villain in this movie than in Thor. I liked his philosophical speeches on humanity and why it should be ruled. It was not cheesy dialog for the sake of dialog. His army was pretty awesome, too. His defeat at the hands of the Hulk was one of the funniest things in the movie. It made total sense that the Hulk would ultimately flatten Loki.

If I have not spoiled the movie enough for you, then let me tell you the five best scenes, in no particular order:

1. The second Hulk scene during the battle in New York. The Hulk appears earlier when he is in a confused state, fighting a bunch of people in a confused rage. However, his second appearance is crucial to the movie and actually kind of dramatic for a green freak of nature. He turns the tide, that's all I will say.

2. Hulk and Thor work together to destroy everything in New York. After they have defeated the last enemy in their way, the heroes walk side by side until something hilarious and unexpected happens.

3. Iron Man Vs. Captain America Vs. Thor. When the group has had enough of each other, Iron Man and Thor beat the crap out of each other until Captain America does his best to calm things down. The forrest they are in gets flattened, and everybody hugs it out at the end.

4. Loki Tricks Thor - How do I say any of this without giving ANYTHING away? Well, somehow Loki takes Thor as prisoner and proceeds to drop him to a certain death. The effects and camera angles of Thor falling and ultimately his way out were pretty unique. Cool scene.

5. The final battle. I thought the last hour of the third Transformers movie had the best final battle scene. This was right there, possible better. I would need to spend a loser of a Saturday watching both to determine this. When all the Avengers bond together, and the unexpected heros step, the expected happens, and the destruction and computer animation dominates the screen, you will love it all.


If you don't like nerdy, cynical jerkoffs talking during your movie experience, then wait maybe another week or two to see this. The smarmy teenagers sitting behind me thinking they were hilarious by saying "lol" at different parts of the previews got old quick. I was ready to turn around and ask the virgins to be quiet, but Kim calmed me and told me to not worry about it. I do think somebody behind me had seen it before, and every time something felt like it was about to happen the kid would say "watch this". No shit. Of course I'm going to watch this. I'm here. It was $11.50 per person.

Overall, I loved this movie. It was one of those once in a long time, if not once in a life time, movie. There is room for a second one, and if it is only half as good as this one, that will be great. There were more surprises than a Russian presidential election (i.e, no surprise) - which makes no sense. I am not a comic book fan, but I will read up about the characters in a movie prior to seeing it as far as superheroes are concerned. This movie set a bar for ensemble cast, special effects, action movies, and the entire superhero genre. If Jesus were a movie, then he would be the Dark Knight. God would be the Avengers. And the X-men would be like the other guy on the other cross.
Movies do not get better than this.

Finally...the end of the Beastie Boys

Look, I am not one to celebrate any person dying. And I know the next few days will be rough for me. However, I am willing to go through the next couple days if it means the world is now a better place.

What I am referring to is that one of these three guys below, named Adam Yauch, has died, thus the Beastie Boys Men are no more.

Obviously, they are now too old to recruit a new member, and are too young to retire. Who doesn't like a grey-haired rapper?

Okay, I kid, and I understand he died of cancer, which is a horrible way to go. However, you cannot look over the fact they had an album called "License to Ill" and Mr. Yauch was, well, ill.

Other than knowing he has a family somewhere out there in this world who are deeply saddened, the worst part of this will be the fact that every radio station will probably be tributing the Beastie Boys. The only song of theirs I ever enjoyed was "Sabotage" - barely. Every other song is I have heard of theirs on the radio has been what sounds like horrible scream-rap to stupid music. I do have some form of respect for some rap artists, as it is a talent for some to a certain degree. I just really do not see where the Beastie Boys had it. As I write this, I do remember that I liked the song "Intergalactic." Not good enough to remember I liked it, but enough to mention it if I remembered it.

Who in the class of 1998 from Cinnaminson High School could forget our town's most ardent supporter Mike Denkowicz's love of the Beastie Boys? The only thing more annoying for his love of this trio was his love of the Simpsons. I like the Simpsons. I just don't live like I'm in the Simpsons. I'm sure that is not the case anymore, as it has been a decade at least since I've seen him. His mom was always sweet, and he was actually always nice to me. So I guess I'm sorry for  your loss. Regardless, if anybody will actually be sad that he has passed, it would be Mike. It will now be time for people wanting to talk about how much they love the Beastie Boys when they probably hadn't gone out of their way for a while to listen to them.

Now, will any radio station NOT play a Beastie Boys song? I heard "Fight for your Right" today in the gym. I actually listened to the lyrics, and it was horrible. "Your mom threw away your best porno mag". Stupid. There's a line about homework in the song as well, and I don't know, I just don't like them. "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" - what the hell is that about? Even the two songs of theirs that I find remotely listenable are nonsense.

I guess at a time like this I could lay off the criticism. The body is still warm, afterall. I am just writing this as an open forum to the world to request that the radio stations do not get out of control and play a different Beastie Boy song every hour.

I'm sorry for how he passed, but I am grateful that the tyrannical reign of the Beastie Boys is now over.

Duba Doppleganger!

This is the "Not So Great" Jim Duba Doppleganger. This is a picture taken from this Yahoo! article talking about prisoners and cats, but who cares about that. My Russian fans, can you imagine if you were some kind of freak and were looking up "prison p_$$y" (sorry I shan't write that graphic word up here on my PG-16 blog) and then you were like, "Heyski! That'ski iski The Great Dubaski!" Oh you Ruskis.

That's all I got today. Thanks to my friend MWT for this.

My Last Wrestling Match at Cinnaminson High School

Upon googling my name the other day, I was very proud to see the real me, my pictures, my blog, my blog's facebook page - all in the first several pages of the results. However, on the second page I saw this: an underwhelming recap of final high school wrestling match ever. Just in case it ever gets pulled off the interwebs, I will copy and paste the story below:

Cinnaminson Stages Rally, But Falls Short To Cherokee

February 19, 1998|By Scott Brown, INQUIRER CORRESPONDENT

CINNAMINSON — Before last night's nonleague wrestling match with Cherokee, Cinnaminson honored recently retired coach Doug Cunningham, and it bid farewell to its seniors.
The senior-laden lineup almost delivered a dramatic win.
After falling behind by 26-15, Cinnaminson got a pair of close wins from Tim Robinson and Ryan Scarduzio, and senior Jim Robinson registered a quick pin at 215 pounds to draw the Pirates to within five points.
But Cherokee's Al Darrah controlled Shaun Fraser in the heavyweight bout on the way to a 4-1 decision, and the Chiefs held off the resilient Pirates, 35-27.

``I'm proud of the whole team. It was a total team effort,'' Cherokee coach Dave Chambers said after his team improved to 11-8. ``I knew coming in it was going to be a really tough match. He [Cinnaminson coach T.J. McStravick] has them really fired up.''
Looming large in the outcome was the 135-pound match, in which a potential 12-point swing occurred. Still fighting the effects of the flu, Cherokee's Mike Taylor was deposited on his back in the middle of the first period and spent the rest of the period locked in a Jim Duba cradle.
However, Duba had to settle for three back points when he couldn't get the pin. And in the second period, a rejuvenated Taylor took Duba down early and pinned him in just 41 seconds. Instead of taking a commanding 21-10 lead, the Pirates wound up on the short end of a 16-15 score.
The Chiefs also got a big win at 140 when Mike Watson edged Bill Hughes, 6-4. In the match, Hughes, who was filling in for Rob Kaczak (flu), let Watson escape three times. He yielded another point late in the match when he was hit with a stall.
Cinnaminson (10-5) stayed close through the light and middle weights thanks to pins by Sal Simonetti-Rayca (103) and Fred Barone (130). After Cherokee took control of the match with four consecutive victories, the Pirates rallied.
Tim Robinson held on for a 7-6 win over Josh Merlino at 160, and in perhaps the feature match of the night, Scarduzio took Jim Letchford down 33 seconds into the overtime period after the two had dueled to a 5-5 tie.
However, Doug Easlick pushed the Cherokee lead to 11 points with a pin at 189, and Darrah was never seriously threatened in the heavyweight bout after Jim Robinson's pin at 215 gave the Pirates a chance to send off their seniors in dramatic fashion.
The results
103: Sal Simonetti-Rayca (CI) pinned Steve Shaffer, 1:02. 112: Harry Morad (CH) pinned Greg Reymann, 5:40. 119: Wes Roach (CI) maj. dec. Matt DiMasi, 11-2. 125: Ted Seemuller (CI) dec. Dustin Roach, 4-2. 130: Fred Barone (CI) pinned Nick Altieri, 1:37. 135: Mike Taylor (CH) pinned Jim Duba, 2:41. 140: Mike Watson (CH) dec. Bill Hughes, 6-4.
145: Jon Pike (CH) maj. dec. Jon DiMasi, 18-10. 152: Chris Bryski (CH) dec. Chris Anderson, 12-6. 160: Tim Robinson (CI) dec. Josh Merlino, 7-6. 171: Ryan Scarduzio (CI) dec. Jim Letchford, 7-5 OT. 189: Doug Easlick (CH) pinned Chris Szetenderowicz, 1:50. 215: Jim Robinson (CI) pinned Brian Crane, 1:18. Hwt.: Al Darrah (CH) dec. Shaun Fraser, 4-1.

I wonder if I won that match if I would have been the story in the paper. I earned a 4 year varsity award for wrestling along with Ryan Scarduzio. We were the first recipients of that for a year or two. Ryan was pretty good. I wasn't. But I had the knowledge. My freshman year, I rarely won. My sophomore year, had a few scattered victories. Junior year, I tore my MCL on the first practice but came back in about 6-7 weeks. I had the infamous Duba Vs. Duda matchup. I also developed a major pain in my back that I tried to work through. Same in my senior year, but it was really bad then. I wore two back braces while I wrestled, plus my new brace, and I could barely walk on days I wasn't on the adrenaline rush of a wrestling match.

What else bothers me about this article is that the times I ever won a match, there was never an article about it, not even a sentence that included my name with other winners. In the record section for the newspaper, my wins always had my name spelled wrong: Kim Duba, Oim Duba, Dim Juba, Im Uba - for real? My picture was in the paper once or twice though. I did like that, but I don't think I have those clippings anymore.

When I had that kid in the cradle on his back, I looked over and saw the Cherokee coach throw his clipboard in the air in disgust. My home crowd was going BERSERK. I never experienced anything like that. I looked over at coach TJ who shrugged his shoulders like I had the pin and just to wait for it. I looked into the crowd and saw Coach Cunningham who was screaming for me to reposition, and score enough points. He made me feel like I could get a technical fall in the first period alone (scoring 15 points more than the opponent at any time). Possibly. However, due to my back, I couldn't pull or push this kid any way I wanted. I was stuck. If I let go, I surely would get painfully wallopped and embarassed.

I remember that was our second to last match for the season. I hadn't done too well, losing my spot several times to a sophomore. I had a team mentality, but unfortunately also a losing mentality. Coach TJ was trying to figure out what to do with the lineup, practically giving me a spot in districts since I was a senior, but I wanted what was best for the team. I approached coach and Ray (who was also the 135 lb wrestler who was beating me) and suggested I get to take the Cherokee match as my last match as a senior. I am not well enough to last a tournament. Ray is healthy and has a better shot. So, the deal was done, and I was pumped.

That one night has always been one of those legacy type memories to me that probably most everybody else forgets. I wish I had the strength back then that I have today. I wish my back felt back then how it feels now. I could've done things. The year started pretty good for me. Returning to the Varsity lineup as a last seed in a tournament. I demolished a kid in 45 seconds, then took the number one seed to the limit. He came up to me afterwards, told me that his match with me wore him out and he finished 3rd or 4th. I had also completed a wrestling camp at the Naval Academy that summer. But the back pain got worse and worse every day. I would fall out of bed just so I could get my feet on the ground.

I am not trying to make excuses for my wrestling career. It's just that if I had only that ONE win that ONE night, it would have all been worth it. It was still worth it, for the lessons coach Doug Cunningham taught me that I take with me still to this day. I don't seek glory. I get it through this blog. I just wish I had it on that one night. Oh well. I get some pretty good glory every day when I come home to my apartment where my family anxiously awaits my return.

Music for Weirdos - A Review of the New Album "Born Villain" by Marilyn Manson

For the longest time, I was a HUGE Marilyn Manson fan. Growing up and up until a few years ago I suffered severely from depression that put my mind through Hell. One thing that always cheered me and inspired me was the music of Marilyn Manson.

Say what??? Isn't he the reason those kids shot up Columbine? No, he was not the reason, nor do I feel that any of his music ever really calls for that.

What I went through I hid from EVERYBODY! However, once you got through the shocking tone lyrics and stylings of Marilyn Manson, I heard a man singing and screaming about being in his own pain and to stand up for myself and I was not alone.

Okay so the man wore assless chaps at the MTV Awards in 1996. Who didn't?

Chris Rock then so quotefully said "Get yo ass ta church!"

I found that performance to be very crazy and cool and was very happy to see that the band did not change who they were to be on MTV.

So, the last album of theirs (yes I refer to Marilyn Manson in the plural as that is the band, plus the frontman's name) I bought when I was halfway through my year of therapy. That album was called "The High End of Low." As I was becoming more self aware and positive, I listened closely to this album. What I heard was not what I was used to hearing from this band. I almost felt let down. Their last album had a different sound, but I just took it as a blip on the Manson radar. Nothing could compare to Holywood, Mechanical Animals, Antichrist Superstar, and Portrait of an American Family. Ever. But then I realized that what I heard was an evolution. I like when a band decides to evolve. It is usually to bad results though from the public. Nine Inch Nails did it the best, but only the hardcore fans appreciated it. Manson's evolution has been pretty good in my opinion, and this album continues the evolution.

The title is "Born Villain" - Mr. Manson, I believe it is time to stop labeling yourself as a scapegoat. I get the idea of the lyrics you have said as part of your "art" can be misconstrued by the media and made into the reason of some horrible tragedies. However, those people still have parents who should be looking out for their kids. My mom would not by my brother a Guns 'N Roses CD once because it had a song on it called "Back Off Bitch." However, the song Born Villain is one of the best done on the album. It could be a great entrance theme for a dark professional wrestler.

The music is not necessarily heavy like on Antichrist Superstar, but it is not weak like the last two albums. It is a little heavier rock than previous releases, where Manson tries to sing. Sometimes it sounds good, sometimes not, but I find that to be one of the things I like about their songs. It grows in me. The first four or five songs sound like a mishmash of music and attempts at singing. Each song has its bright spot, with the first single "No Reflection" being the best out of all of them. I actually have seen the video for "No Reflection" enough to enjoy the song completely.

One thing that Marilyn Manson was always good at, in my opinion, was using his play on words in the chorus of his songs. I know it's simple, but saying "I got an F and C and I got a K too and all I need is U" could have been created by anybody, but he said it first, and it is in a catchy part of that song. That type of song comes in on a track called "Pistol Whipped." Sounds like he is saying he gets beaten up by a girl because she is a pistol, and he is pistol whipped. Or maybe he does the beating. Either way, perhaps this song is a call for help. I would not doubt he gets beaten as I believe this is the same "shock rocker" who sued an exwife or exgirlfriend over custody of his cat.

Starting with a song called "Slo-Mo-Tion" the album and remaining songs sound more organized. His songs build up to heavier parts buffeted by some nice music/better singing.

All in all, not the best Marilyn Manson album ever. The band itself compares it to Mechanical Animals, the album critics point at as their greatest release ever. I am more of a fan of the Golden Age of Grotesque as their best album. This is in the upper half of best albums.

There is also a cover of "You're So Vain" featuring that creepy Johnny Depp. Where Depp comes in at on the song, I don't know. Thankfully I don't hear another actor trying to sing on this song. The song is probably the best cover he has done. Very well done and catchy.

If you are a big fan of this band, you should get this album. I am sure I will have it in my rotation for the next couple months, eventually it dropping off into the pile of "random shuffle". Then again, most music I have downloaded has done that. Very few bands stay as a "listen to at anytime" band for me. DevilDriver, Volbeat, Mushroomhead, Nine Inch Nails, and Marilyn Manson, in that order, usually are my go to bands. Stone Temple Pilots used to be number one, and believe me STP still rules. They just only have 6 albums compared to some of these other bands, and I have listened to them for almost twenty years. Jesum Crow, 20 years ago some of my favorite bands came out. This aging thing is getting scary now.

So, I am no music critic, and I realize how snarky a lot of what I wrote came across. I assume that you wouldn't have read this far if you didn't care about my words anyways. Afterall, not many people are a fan of this guy.

Stay tuned for a guest editorial from Dave "Parents Like A Sasquatch" Bell.