Flipping the Bird: A Not So Weekly Look At the Potentially Table Running Philadelphia Eagles

Yeah, I said it. Okay, maybe I mean it starting two weeks from now. The Eagles, at 3-3, are listed as in dire straights. I predicted back in April the following:

 

Week 6: Detroit Lions at Eagles

This is the trap game of the year for them. The Lions could be off to a huge start if Stafford is still healthy. Also, it is not uncommon under Andy Reid for the Eagles to struggle before a bye. The Saints last lit up the Lions, but Detroit tried to stay with them till the end. I think in a shoot-out, Detroit takes it. In a running game, the Eagles will burn the Lions. However, the last time the Lions came to town, the Eagles killed them and made Kevin Curtis look like a star. Then two years ago the Eagles went into Detroit and killed them for 3/4 of the game, only to let them crawl back to make it closer than the rest of the game was. If Detroit does not do much with its secondary and Suh continues undisciplined football, the Eagles could pull it off. Although I don't trust King Dunlap to stop him, but perhaps Demetres Bell will be the Jason Peters lite the Eagles need. No run game for Detroit makes it easier for the Eagles to focus on stopping the explosive pass. I think it would be a true test for Nnamdi. If he can stop Calvin Johnson, then the Eagles will do great things. I just see Juan Castillo allowing his defense to collapse in this game. Sad, sad prediction. What would the Andy Reid era be without 2 miserable weeks pondering about how we lost to the Lions? Detroit 38, Eagles 27 (4-2)

Week 7: Eagles at their Homes, licking their wounds

A week of recovery where every radio host and blogger (minus me) talk about why we lost to the Lions on up to two (2) bonehead plays.

 

A couple worrisome things happened in this game - Detroit scored 17 points in the FOURTH quarter, making the Eagles look like the team through the first 5 weeks last year, giving up leads and such. Nnamdi Asomugha then went on to say in the post-game that they abandoned their plan which made the Lions look like garbage. Vick - 2 interceptions, 1 fumble (not lost but lost 6 yards on the play); Dallas Reynolds - Lost one fumble on a horrendous snap. The end result - Juan Castillo fired last Tuesday, King Dunlap back in at left tackle and supposedly Vick's performance being evaluated.

 

So, it was a long a two weeks. People on the radio think that running the ball is the answer. It certainly helps, as I have said at least a dozen times in the past here throughout this blog. But it is not the end all. Turnovers are killing the team, which seem to occur more and more frequently when the Eagles are marching down the field. Had these plays been converted and the points they would have accrued were reality, then the running game would come in to play. I did see the Eagles run nice drives, mostly with short and medium passes. Occassional running plays helped take the pressure back of their receivers. Maybe McCoy would have run roughshod over the Steelers and Lions late in the game, but alas the Eagles did not have the opportunity. The loss of Jason Peters and a player of his capacity, along with pulling blockers to help out with the center position, will never allow for the running game to take off in Philadelphia for the short term. Maybe as they play several more weeks with a winning attitude, they can pull something off.

 

Checking NFL.com's stats, The Eagles are the 13th best at total offense. They only average 17.2 points per game, and that is awful for this allegedly uber talented team. 58.9 percent passing completion, 257 yards per game, 20 plays of 20+ yards, 3 of 40+ yards, 103 total points for the year. Their upcoming opponent, the only undefeated team in the NFL the Atlanta Falcons, come to town next. They average 28.5 points per game, 171 total points, 67.8 percent pass completion, 274.8 yards per game with 17 plays of 20+ yards and 3 of 40+ yards. The Falcons have 14 touchdowns and 6 interceptions to 8 touchdowns and 8 interceptions. Atlanta has given up 13 sacs and the Eagles 17 sacks.

 

Check this out: Atlanta has 139 rushes for 519 yards, 3.7 yards per carry. The Eagles have 180 rushes for 732 yards, 4.1 per carry. Another stat to focus on - Atlanta has allowed 34 QB hits as opposed to the Eagles 53.

 

On the other side of the ball, the Eagles defense is ranked 11th through 6 games, and Atlanta at 22nd through the same. Eagles give up 20.8 points per game and Falcons 18.8 points per game. Out of 387 total plays against them, Philadelphia gives up 5.1 yards per play. Falcons with 371 plays against them, 5.9 yards per play. The Falcons stop opponents 42 percent on 3rd down and Eagles are 29 percent. The Falcons have 10 interceptions, one for a touchdown and forced 9 fumbles while recovering 7 of them. On the flip, the Eagles have 7 interceptions (with no touchdowns) and 3 forced fumbles, one of which was recovered. Finally, the Falcons have 16 sacks (15th overall) to the Eagles 7 (tied for 30th...with the Raiders).

 

So, what does it all mean? I thought I had some kind of crazy cool formula here, but no. The Falcons give up 18.8 points per game, and the Eagles average 17.2 points. That right there tells me that they have a chance to at least improve slightly on that aspect. People still say the offense should roll. I think they have potential, but you have to see it. Desean Jackson had some good games and, compared to last year, is in line for a good season. However, I see a little panic in the play. The receivers are doing well, when the ball makes it to them. The notorious non-lay-it-out-there of D-Jax has disappeared as he seems to be laying out, and Maclin is just a hustler. Celek, the TE, has yet to live up to expectations, and that hurts me saying it. He's my boy. He hurdled Ed Reed. But that is not enough.

 

The Eagles give up 20 points per game and Atlanta scores 28 per game. So, that discrepancy could be beneficial. Or horrible. There is an 11 point difference in average scoring here, with Atlanta more likely to take a dip. However, the Eagles secondary coach, Todd Bowles, is now the new defensive coordinator. This happened early in the bye week for the Eagles, and people are expecting a massive change in the defense. People say that the hiring of Jim Washburn and his "wide nine" philosophy is atrocious...now. Everybody loved him last year as Babin and Cole and the backups played out of their minds all year long. Now we are tied with fucking Oakland on sacks. Pathetic. So, will the facelift help the Eagles? Perhaps.

 

What worries me is not the Eagles general performance, but rather the fact that their opponents are coming off a bye, too. This is the third straight team the Eagles will play coming off their bye. The first two teams - Stealers and the Lions - found a way to come back on the Eagles and take the win. The Falcons have had two weeks as well to evaluate them. However, Todd Bowles is supposedly responsible for the parts of the defense that worked in 3/4 of those previous two games and Castillo is responsible for the last 1/4 of said games, when the Eagles lost. I think the Eagles have the personnel that can adjust to some plays and alter the scheme of attack.

 

This is what I wrote back in April about this game:

 

Week 8: Atlanta Falcons at Eagles

The Eagles are 2 and 2 against the Matt Ryan led Falcons. And by this point, I have them 2 and 0 on the Angry Birds revenge tour. Make that 3-0. I think that Atlanta is starting to slide after their dismal playoff showing and what I assume would be a "below-expectations season" thus far. The last time they came to Philadelphia, the Eagles waxed them, not without casualty, though, as Dunta Robinson (one of my all-time scumbag players) killed DeSean Jackson after he had already scored two touchdowns. Ultimately knocking him out of the next couple games, including a loss to the Titans two years ago. Also, under Reid, the Eagles are 13-0 off the bye week. Say what you want, but two weeks to study your opponent and design Falcons-specific formations will lead to a victory. I like streaks. The Undertaker is 20-0 at Wrestlemania, so don't tell me a longer time to prepare is a bad thing. The Eagles will win this, in similar dominating fashion as that of the NY Giants in the playoffs last season. And for a couple weeks we hear national pundits declare Reid a genius while the local guys give him grief for needing two weeks. Eagles 38, Falcons 14 (5-2)

 

So, the Eagles are 1-1 on the Angry Birds revenge tour and the Falcons are undefeated. First three sentences of this are wrong. I do believe I still hate Dunta Robinson. He is still a scumbag. If Todd Bowles is responsible for keeping the Stealers receivers and Megatron useless for 3/4 of a game, perhaps he can have decent success against Julio White. That combo is menacing on paper. Roddy White is matchup proof and Jones is boom to some times bust. Add Tony Gonzalez and the Eagles have a headache. I think just plain old good coverage from the corners can do well against them plus Boykin in the slot has been exceptional. Michael Turner is the type of back that has field days on the Eagles, but the additions of Demeco Ryans and Mychal Kendricks make them look like the Great Wall of China compared to past linebackers. They may be able to actually tackle him once he gets slowed down by the rotating defensive line.

 

Yes, the Undertaker is undefeated at Wrestlemania. I haven't seen wrestling in years, but I would think the year he loses is the year he retires. The year Reid loses after a bye is probably the year he leaves Philadelphia. Much like the Undertaker, though, there is no next big thing to take his place. Neither is there for Andy Reid, whether you like it or not. Unless you get some uppity college coach and take your learning curve lumps, but I know the fans in Philadelphia won't like that either. It would take a whole locker room of heels to beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Andy Reid's heel is Vick. He can make a choice for the rest of the year - play the way the coaches tell him or play the way he did to win our hearts in 2010. Yes, your offensive line is a problem. Ultimately, they don't put the ball in the defender's hands (maybe Dallas Reynolds did, but that was one time, and McCoy had a bad fumble too). Michael Vick, you can run down that aisle, look at the UnderReid, holding that steel chair. You can unfold the chair, take a seat, and cheer him on and inspire him, or you can fake to hit the opponent, only to smack your coach clear in the face. Choice is yours. Just remember you are not the next big thing, either.

 

So, that was a dumb soliloquy. The Eagles are staring at 3-3. They are currently 9th in the NFC. There are 11 teams at 4-3 or worse. Eight of these teams range from 4-3 to 3-4. They have a chance, whether the fans want to admit it or not. They had a chance with four games left in the 2011 season, and they did what they could with where they had put themselves in. I hope that desperation comes in again like last year, as that level of play looked easy for them to maintain.

 

"C'mon Duba...tell me what will happen already!"

 

Well, the Eagles will still not run the ball enough, but the defense will stand out. The crowd at home after a bye after a loss will be going banans by 12:45 p.m. and the Eagles will finally show some fire and some punch. Eagles 23, Falcons 21. It will be tight, but I think the score doesn't reflect how the Eagles will dominate this game. Yes, I am a "homer", but not a "homer sexual." Go Eagles! You have to!

 

Movie Review - Want to See a Movie That Sucks?

Honestly, I do not know how to even start with this movie. You know the tale of Snow White, right? She's supposed to be some hot country side lady who will rule the kingdom one day. So this movie tries to take the Disney version of this...

 

and turn it into this....

 

 

The result is this....

 

 

And to think, the most interesting thing about this movie is that it broke up "Stewson" or "Patwart" or whatever the tweens today call them. She had an affair, and received a lot of money for role as Snow White. Whatever. Next up, you have an overacting, bug eyed Charlize Theron...

 

Apparently, Theron's character is an old hag, and met somebody magical who granted her the power to stay young, forever, as long as she continues to mock make out/suck the face from afar of average looking girls, inevitably making the younger girl hideous looking while Theron devours her soul and beauty. This is what it looks like...

 

 

Also, Theron inexplicably takes a milk bath. I think it's milk. It looks like an outtake of an underground Japanese adult film...

 



 

So Theron comes in, murders Snow White's dad, the king, and kicks out Snow White because she is supposed to be beautiful. Somehow, Thor, looking like Thor, finds her, and wants to take her to her child hood friend's land to amass an army and take back the castle. He guides her through the forest and assembles an army, including these guys...

 

 

A lot of philosphical and "we talk smart" kind of dialog mixed with minimal action. And British Accents. You know the story of Snow White. But this is how they try to make it exciting...

 

 

There is a reason why the female knight in the show "Game of Thrones" can pull off the female knight look...

 

 

That's a huge bitch. (Not my personal saying, but recited from Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo).

 

Oh what the heck...

 

I just explained the movie. I have shown you all you need to see as well. The poison apple appears and Snow White convulses and passes out for five minutes. Then Thor kisses her awake. He was actually trying to mouth rape her as he thought she was a goner.

 

So, the only real redeeming quality of this movie, in my opinion, was that there was actually amazing scenery and art in the movie. Maybe it was because the rest of the movie was so uninteresting to me, but I loved the detail of every scene. It caught my attention more than the scenery in Avatar. The fantasy world of this movie had bizarro animals, including this mutant reindeer...

 

 

Looking back, we picked this movie out of the Red Box because of all the praise it received over the summer. That was Saturday night. I purposely drove it with me on my way to UMASS and dropped in another Red Box to return, far far far away from my house. I don't want other people I know to be affected by this movie either.

 

I know what you're saying, "Okay wisenheimer, what would you recommend instead?" Click at your own risk for the "Serbian Film" trailer.



 















Dub-On The Road: Massachusetts Review

Well folks, it has been a little over 10 years since I was last in Massachusetts. A lot has changed since then. Gay marriage is now legal in Assachusetts, the Patriots stopped winning Super Bowls, and I am in my 30s and have seen the world, live with my girlfriend and my stepson, and am what some would consider a "professional." I am up in Amherst at the University of Massachusetts today for the 28th Annual International Conference on Soils, Sediments, Water, and Energy. My name is attached to a presentation I will watch my boss present tomorrow. But enough of this boring stuff, let us get down to business. After only 22 hours in the state, I still hate New England.

I will start off my review by giving the state a starting score of 100 out of 100. It is only fair. Now, for my complete review from a very poor view point of an entire state.

ROADS

I believe I was on I-91 for a long time. It was a straight up two lane highway that had enough turns to make you guy well under the speed limit. I also was hesitant to use my high beams as the two sides of the highway were separated in elevation, yet I could still see those cars' headlights. If I can see them, they can definitely see my high beams. -2 points.

POTENTIALLY FUNNY TOWN NAMES

I passed a town on my way into the state, Mianus. Unfortunately for the sake of this blog, that town was not in Massachusetts. Instant disappoint when I found that out today. -3 points. However, a quick Google search found Cummaquid, Massachusetts. Close, but no cigar. +0.

ACCENT

One thing I was definitely dreading about my trip was the anticipated, ear bleeding-inducing, English language-butchering, make me unproud to be an American accent of the Massachusettians. I had the radio on searching for some music as I remember there used to be a nice hard rock/metal channel. Unfortunately I got like 1 hour of commercials. And in those commercials was 70% accent. HOWEVER, once I arrived at UMASS and spent my day at the University, I did not encounter one accented individual. Must be a lot of out of state students, and it is an INTERNATIONAL conference. +1

PEOPLE

In light of my last comment, I find the people in Massachusetts to be incredibly annoying. Everybody, when making a right hand turn onto a cross street or into a parking lot, makes a very wide turn. I mean like cringe in your seat bracing for impact type of turn. And they all look at me like I was the asshole. Also, maybe because it is a college town, maybe because people just do not change, everywhere I went people would still find a way to bump shoulders with me. Walking through the campus center doors, I try to go to the double door, right side, to allow for the group of people I see through the window to use the left door. But instead they move through the door I open and bump into me. Don't they see that I am wearing business casual and am not into these type of stupid games anymore? I am tired of people taller than me bumping into me. -5

FOOD

What is the one thing you think about when you hear Massachusetts? Chowda! So, I speak to my man Justin "Jutt" Carle and he tells me of a great pizza place up in this area called Antonio's. Now it is time for my first ever "Review Within a Review":

REVIEW WITHIN A REVIEW - Antonio's (a pizza shop)

PARKING - I circled the block approximately 3 times looking for a spot. I eventually circled back to the parking lot that was like 2 blocks away. I see signs that it is a kiosk paid parking lot. I go to pay, and it starts to rain. Hard. All of a sudden, I am soaked. I am trying to use my card but it will not work. I soon realize that the meter is broken and I am wet for no reason. -2

RESTAURANT - I walk in and it is a small pizza shop. They got the tall glass windows covering the pizzas I want to see and I have to stand on my tip toes to talk to the man. There were booths and tables along the outer perimeter of the restaurant and two tables to eat standing up at. All the seats were full so I took my business casual ass up to a stand up table. -1

STAFF - The dude who took my order was really nice and sounded like a guy who has lived in the same town all his life. However, he and the other people working with him were very friendly and that goes a long way in my book. +5

PIZZA - Jutt recommended the buffalo chicken pizza, but I did not see it. I definitely was going to mark this category down but I had only stopped short because I saw Barbecue Chicken Bacon Ranch Sicilian pizza. I got a slice of that and a slice of plain. The plain was indeed plain, but the BCBRS slice was a party in my mouth that the whole town of Amherst was invited to. This pizza made my day, and perhaps my trip. +10.

OVERALL - Tack on an additional 12 points to the overall Massachusetts box score.

LODGING

I found a Knights Inn within 10 minutes of the University. The staff in the lobby was very friendly and seemed to be thankful I showed up. It was 1030 p.m. though. It is is one of those "drive up to your room" motels. As soon as I pulled up, another car pulled up next to me and I thought perhaps this guy was meant to be in Mianus. I quickly ushered myself in to see that there was a space heater turned on. I did not trust it so I turned it off and turned on the room's heater. All it did was blow the coldest of air  and would not stop until about 10 minutes after I had turned it to the off position. I was also pretty disoriented after 6.5 hours of driving with the window down. I had that wind blown heat but the room was cold now after the heater debacle. I slept like a rock though in a very not-quite-like-my-tempurpedic mattress I have at home. +/- 0

So, the total score is 106. Out of 100. I did something wrong here. I hate New England and most of Massachusetts. All I wanted to do was find the bar I saw in 2002 during a day trip to Boston called the "Raisin Duba". Alas, I am over 2 hours away from Boston.

Okay, I guess it is not that bad here. But who I am to judge after only being here for 23 hours?

Flipping the Bird: Both a Tardy Look and a Sigh of Relief Review of the Philadelphia Eagles

Well, Week 5 is here, and I really didn't get to give my shpiel on the Eagles loss to the Cardinals. Bottom line - that game was atrocious and I saw more early 2011 Eagles instead of the We Can Beat Anybody In The Final Two Minutes Eagles of 2012. I was way off on my prediction. You can say what you want about whether they ran the ball or not and why did they wait yadda yadda yadda. Bottom line - I think they took the Cardinals lightly and it cost them. I also think they got to ride a high of beating the Patriots. The Dolphins almost beat them last year, and the Rams just dominated them last night. Luckily the loss balanced itself out with a win as I predicted this back in July:

Week 4: New York Giants at Eagles

The last time the Giants won the Superbowl, they went on I believe a 14-2 run. They beat the Eagles in this same spot, making the season look bleak. Alas, in order to finish the season strong, the Eagles got revenge later in the season with the infamous McNabb phone call game in the regular season, followed by a dominating 20-10 win in the divisional round.

Maybe Vick would run to the side and mock kill a puppy. I kid I kid. I actually see the Giants still carrying over their momentum from the post season, and the Eagles have struggled with them at home in recent years. Therefore, as much as it pains me, Giants 28, Eagles 20 (3-1).

Fortunately, the Eagles won this game. And they found a way to win again. Minus the second defensive stand by them, I thought the Eagles defense was great. Minus the Arizona game, I see the Eagles actually making adjustments, actually having a game plan evolve. The Eagles also have exhibited another trait I previously stated they needed to have - the will to win. You cannot teach that. You find it. Luckily, when the game was close, they maintained it and didn't panic like they did in Arizona. Panic and desperation play does not equal success. Believing you have a chance all the way through to the last possible second matters most.

So, the Giants were a tough match, and they were on 10 days rest. So, not realizing it before during my predictions of the Eagles season, the Eagles faced the Giants on 10 days rest, next are the Steelers after their bye (at Pittsburgh) followed by another opponent coming off a bye as they host Detroit. So, let us take the Delorean back a few months and see what I predicted would happen on Sunday:

Week 5: Eagles at Pittsburgh Steelers

Ugh. Talk about a brutal game after a brutal opponent. The Superbowl year (2004-05) saw McNabb and Owens arguing (more like T.O. laying into McNabb) on the sidelines as they were only able to muster up like 3 points. The following year was a remarkable game that I missed due to a wedding. I remember listening to the game as I had recorded it on my Sirius radio and listened to it all the next day, without any knowledge of what happened. It was one of the best called games ever other than the Miracle at the New Meadowlands (from a Philadelphia broadcast perspective). This is tricky. The Steelers are getting old, but they still hit hard. So does James Harrison, and I have a bad feeling he could knock somebody out in this game. However, the Steelers have been notorious for letting opposing defenses raping the offensive line to take a sack to Big Ben Rapelsberger. I do think the explosiveness of the Eagles' offense can beat that defense, and the pass rush of the Eagles' defense can halt the Steelers offense. Simple game to predict actually, just worried about injuries. Eagles 20, Steelers 10 (4-1)

The Eagles may have caught a break as Polomalu is coming off an injury as is Harrison. Perhaps they will not be so impactful, but they are Steelers' legends. To have these players come back after a bye, at home, with a 1-2 record, makes them a nasty threat. Their defense will be jacked with their leaders back. Also, the Steelers offense has somehow become a major pass threat and lost their run game. The Eagles defense is pretty balanced right now, but I fear the Steelers can chip away. The key will be for the Eagles to have a more balanced offense and keep their defense fresh. The Pittsburgh run game is ineffective and the O-Line is still not as good as it was, but from what I hear the statistics of Ben Rapelsberger against the type of defensive front the Eagles possess are actually pretty good. But that is against opponents this year not as balanced as the Eagles. I predicted the Eagles would win 20-10. I think this will be another close game. But rather than a last series offensive drive, it will come down to a defensive stand holding the surging Steelers. Eagles 21, Pittsburgh 18.