Random Stuff

Okay, so what is going on with the Phillies? They look more like the losingest franchise in all of professional sports (which I believe they achieved that status in 2007 or 2008) rather than the 5 time defending NL East champs. However, everybody who watches them consistently and attends games frequently are probably freaking out and perhaps fed up. I do think that ever since they won the world series in 2008 that diehard and casual fans alike have felt like it is the God given right of the Phillies to be in the world series year after year. The Phillies are about to have their own record and their TV rights are up for sale again. The sellouts have been going on for years now, but people who have tickets are not going to the games anymore - more so than the usual group of people who could not give a ticket away. Now, people are not going to the games like they have the past couple years, and it is not because the ticketholder had to stay late at work.

What everybody who is in a panic needs to realize is that the season is what, 2 months old? Some teams you can tell are just dead in the water at this time frame, and even as a casual fan I know the Phillies are not one of these teams. The potential energy of the Phillies is great, but I know what it is like to have a losing mentality. It can affect everything you do, especially on the field. Yeah, they are professional athletes who make millions, but if millions are there for the taking they deserve it. If you do not want them to make the millions, then stopping going to the games. Stop buying the tickets, the merchandise. Call into your local crap sports radio program and express your frustration. You know what you get then? The Kansas City Royals. And from what I see, the Royals are not up for their own network any time soon. But alas, I believe this year may just be that off year, and the Phillies will get to experience something from the fans they have not had for a while - panic and despair. Whenever something goes wrong with a Philadelphia team, the boo-birds start to come out. I believe it is only a matter of time when a Cliff Lee game is just full of boos. The backups filling in for the injured starters are not the superstars they are filling in for, but those superstars have not been what we thought they were for years now. All spring long I heard the manager, general manager, and fans declare how they will be okay for the season because of their pitching. Well, the heralded Cliff Lee is winless, your real ace Cole Hamels is put down by the GM, the veteran ace you need to keep that group together is OUT, and you have Kyle Kendrick. Face it, this is a mild rebuilding year.

Enough of something I could not really care about until September anyways...I went back to the gym after a couple weeks off. I did not intend it that way. I spent the week in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, then came back to work, but did not go to the gym so that I could go to work early and play catchup. By the end of that week, I woke up with a terrible pain in my back that lasted a couple weeks. It was one of those pains that makes you moan for no reason. But, this past Tuesday I went back. Since my chest hurts quite a bit from the time off, and I am not afforded a rest day this week, I am going to attempt a shoulder workout consisting of all types of dumbell raises. I am not sure how good this will be for the overall major muscle groups, but my deep deltoid muscles should get quite the hit today. I am also getting fatter and will attempt some form of cardio as well as perhaps, not guaranteeing anything, some form of ab work. I don't know...don't know if there will be enough time. 

Tee ball season is just about over, and the kids (4-6) years old have gone from being ineffective off the T to hitting balls thrown to them. Combine that with the kids now (finally) cheering each other on and it has become a LOT more fun than I first expected as the season winds down. I am grateful for that. 

I also have realized that as I get older, my recovery from poison ivy outbreaks has taken longer and longer. A small patch on my arm, treated with topical medicines, has taken almost one month to subside. It has been at the point of dried out skin for a couple weeks with the occasional bubble or two. Ivy Dry is the best medicine, but used to frequently I think this is what I get. 

Oh well. Like my blog header says, this entry served no function. I was just bored getting ready for the gym before work. Now I am about 10 minutes late. So long and have a save d(ub)ay. 

First Ever Dub-Over - Top 10 Things I Can Do Without

Well folks, I read it. I reviewed it. I edited it. And yet, I still was not pleased with my last attempt at this top 10 list. In fact, I am very not proud to have done the last entry. You may not enjoy this one either, but I certainly feel better writing it. So without further aduba, I re-present to you, while representing, the abridge, adjusted, accountable, accurate, academic, astute, all-encompassing list of....

The Top 10 Things I Can Do Without

10. The guy who absolutely devastates the mens room before 9 a.m. at my office. How does your body produce something so horrendous and vile that early in the day. There is only one guy worse than him...

9. The guy, who strikes between 9 and 10 a.m., who does his business, not as bad as the pre-9 a.m. human garbage dump, who finds it his environmental responsibility to turn off the lights/fan upon exit. Go green? The only green happening is the face of the first person to walk in there into an uncirculated air stink bomb. Thanks for nothing you unhealthy mother f*&^er.

8. Eli - ELIte talk - Yeah, he found a way to win two superbowls. He has done something right, a couple times now. Can we please just drop it already? Would I take him over Michael Vick? You know, I would have to say no. Just because that is a totally irrational question because it cannot happen. Let us all hope and pray that the next annoying football phrase goes from Eli - ELIte to Vick-Torious!

7. Beast mode - Yeah, a repeat from the last one, but I really hated this phrase. Especially when the over-hyper fan boys who have their own radio show use it like "Oh yeah, one time a guy got in my grill and purposely spilled his drink...So what did you do?...Well, I had to. Had to go beast mode bro...BEAST MODE!!!....Yeah that beast mode is great." Again, Seattle Seahawks you continue to provide nothing but terribleness to the NFL.

6. Adele - I think there is some accent somewhere on her name. I will admit it, that thing can sing. I even feel like one or two of her songs were actually pretty fresh. But then she slowed it down, and it got a little repetitive. Then she just flat out ran out of ideas. I actually looked right at my radio and said "That's enough, Adele". Maybe if you stopped looking for things to sing about thus making you a struggling musician, perhaps things with that guy would have worked out better.

5. Another repeat - The use of acronyms that somebody else decided was acceptable. It definitely was not a parent. LOL seemed like an innovation - but one I could have lived without. Nobody really laughs like that. I find "ha" to be more acceptable of a phrase. But the ROFL and SMDH of the world is just plain lazy. It then goes to words like probably to prolly, because to cuz, T U for thank you. Well, here is the only acronym I will use - YKHRTEL: You Kids Have Ruined The English Language.

4. These "E-cards"/"Some Cards" that people are posting everywhere on facebook. Ooh witty phrases on old timey pictures. Neat. If you live and die by these cards, I think you are half douche, half bag.

3. Johnny Depp movies where he does not look like Johnny Depp. Dark Shadows, the movie, came and went, and I know a lot of people, too many people, who wanted to see it. I should send them an e-card that uses a well placed curse word to express my hatred of it. Mr. Depp, you are a very good actor. I had no desire to see you as a pirate, a chocolate factory having child predator, and a homoerotic vampire.

2. People who actually have a thought and eventually the time to voice his/her opinion against gay marriage. I think the only reason you have so many people speaking up FOR gay marriage is because somebody actually doubts it should be allowed. It is the one last sanctity type of thing a real conservative person has left to hold on to. You guys lost the ability to hold down women. You allowed black people to become your equals. Yet, you have to hold on to one thing. You still need one group of people that you need to be higher and mightier than. If you put a religious point of view on it, then you are not valid and should not have any political influence on the matter. All men are created equal, whether they love a woman, another man, god, an animal god, nobody, or just himself. All men ARE created equal. Don't worry closeted gay friends. One day, you will get your chance to step out in public and not ever be judged for who you are.

1. Again, the same as the last one - the almightyly stupid #. I saw somebody on Facebook today use two #s in a status update, and gave him the finger. Workaholics is on right now. I'm sorry. #workaholics. I just self pounded my name on google. The results for #duba was a small town on the coast of the Red Sea, second result was the Michigan attorneys Duba & Duba. I do not know what to use the # for. Seriously. I still need clarification. 

Welcome, Additional International Readers

Brazil, Sweden, and a country I sympathize with - Cyprus.

The only countries I have been to that I have had readers from include Cyprus, Canada, France, Spain, England, and Egypt. Cyprus and Canada were the last two countries I was in. Maybe one day I will offer up my thoughts on the unfortunate Cypriot problem. The U.S. likes to say they involve themselves in humanitarian causes across the world, but they refuse to acknowledge that Turkey did something evil (with our assistance) so that we resume to raid Iraq from the north.

Some day, I will get political. About something.
-Jim Duba

The Top 10 Things I Can Do Without

10. "Beast Mode" - The most overused phrase I have ever heard last year. Marshawn Lynch earned that nickname because he revived his season by playing better in the second half of the season then the first half, and he looks like a beast. Just because you go to the gym and yell during your set work does not make it "beast mode". In fact, if you are an average Joe, you have probably never done anything in "beast mode" spare for Halloween when you were a kid. The phrase beast mode is just one more horrendous thing associated with football that the Seattle Seahawks have brought the world.

9. Anything that Supports George W. Bush - I see so many things that people put on the internets who strongly support George Bush, making him out to be a saint and Obama to be a buffoon, all in the name of patriotism. I did not like George Bush, but I do not make it my life's goal to put him down forever. The same people who post things that declare Obama to be doing illegal things are also those who act like Bush almost solved all the world's problems but he ran out of time. You think that makes you a Patriot? You voted, you lost, and you have to deal with it. Accepting that way of democracy is more patriotic.

8. Lindsay Lohan News - Yes, she is a mess, and that is no longer news to me. Oh really? A human mess is being difficult to work with on the set of a made for TV movie? In other news, the world may be round.

7. Zombie Apocalypse - This is not real. I cannot believe I had to type this. Anybody who thinks they could survive such an event is wrong. Jason Babin of the Philadelphia Eagles is going to run with the bulls in Spain in July. An event that many people think he may get hurt during, thus jeopardizing his football career and the Eagles' season. He thinks because he owns a bull and has watched tapes of bull runs he will be fine. I can watch and take notes on the movie Zombieland but I am pretty sure I will trip over something eventually or run into another zombie if I am fleeing from one. You cannot survive an end of the world scenario.

6. Text Speak - ROFL. LMAO, LMFAO, SMH, SMDH, CTFU, STFU, LOL, BRB, HIV - Okay that last one is a legit term, one of these terms is the name of a party rap group, and one of them I do not know the meaning of. Why and when do people text like this? Something happened in the drinking water 5-10 years after I was born that brought everybody's brain cells to a reduced size. I have never in my life tried to write like this. Mostly this applies to men who text or post on facebook. It is a cutesy thing for girls to do, but really odd to me for a man to write like that. The only exception to this rule is if Dave Bell himself typed it, as I can actually hear his laugh in head. Knock it off, young people. I will leave the country the day I see a tweet from a president that says "Iran just won't stop w nukes! There goes the neighborhood. SMDH"

5. People who leave sporting events early - I am very fortunate to get to go to one or two games of anything a year. I struggle to pay everything I pay for, but I get by. I afford myself very few luxuries at all in life. Maybe my own fault, but I would rather save money toward my future so I cannot repeat the past mistakes I have made. However, in the rare instance I get to attend a baseball, football, or hockey game, I cannot think of any instance where I would want to leave. I have left games before, but not because of my own desire, but rather at the will of the person I traveled with to get there. I rarely drive to these events, so I am kind of shit out of luck. I went 30+ years without ever having gone to an Eagles game, and when I did, I saw people leaving early. If you didn't intend to stay, perhaps you could have called me sooner to give me your ticket.

4. People who park diagonally - I saw a guy with a bumper sticker on a Honda Civic that said "I park diagonally in a parallel universe". No, you park diagonally because you are an asshole. The only person who can park diagonally and not be a douche about it is somebody who drives a smart car

3. Similar reality shows on different channels - How many storage unit reality shows must there be? How many pawn shop shows? Who actually sets aside time to watch these shows? Good news to fans who are SICK of the antics of Dog the Bounty Hunter...because Al Roker will bring us a new breed of bounty hunter. Hooray for TLC, discovery, A&E, and so on, and so forth.

2. New York License Plated-Cars - You cannot drive for shit, and I have been over it before. Is there no speedometer in their cars? I seriously will never understand their ability to go 40 to 80 mph to 40 mph in the span of 10 miles at a time on NJ interstates. You tail gate and then get right in front of normal people, only to stop to a ridiculously low speed again. Assholes.

1. #, Hashtag - I do not understand this. What the hell does it mean when you put # in front of something. It has been explained to me before, but obviously not well. When you apply the #, are you trying to start a trend with your shitty thoughts? Everything now, combined with the ROTFL, SMDH CTFUs and associated # has created a new language that I cannot nor will ever try and want to understand.

Okay. This all seemed much better in my head. Not my best work, but thats the way it goes sometimes. Hopefully I can have a better idea soon. 5 straight months of blogging, and I think I hit a wall. I need a 1 day break.

Philadelphia Eagles True-False-To Be Determined

Since my last rip off column went well and I am watching trucks load out dirt, I decided to do another TFD(uba) based on recent stories concerning the Philadelphia Eagles.

True - The offense should be back to 2010 form

I strongly believe this one. Vick will presumably start the year healthy, McCoy and Desean got paid, and despite an injury to the main cog of the O-line, a near pro-bowl caliber replacement joins an established line that worked well the last half of the year. I truly believe that if all the standard moving parts keep moving, weapons Vick, Maclin, McCoy, Jackson, and Celek should all explode this year and mount the competitions' back. Of course, if Vick goes down, things may be different.

False - The Eagles Coaches Will Break Mike Vick's Old Annoying Habits

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. He may improve on his bad habits as a QB, but will not fully stop them. Ultimately as long as he just leaves potential yards on the field as opposed to potential points, they should be fine. I do see some hair pulling moments, unfortunately.

To Be Determined - Jason Babin Running With the Bulls is a Bad Idea

Uh. Yeah. Only if he gets hurt though. Maybe avoiding bulls and other people will help him avoid blockers? If he gets injured, he can kiss his ass goodbye. He could have led the league in sacks last year, and with the front four playing out of their mind, he could potentially do it again this year. Unless he gets a horn in his ribs. As the wise Brandon Barrett said "Cullen Jenkins should punch him right in his asshole", followed up with "Have you seen the size of his fist". Well put.
-Jim Duba