Ah, the "Larry Monster." A man, myth, legend, tarnished legend, hero, simpleton, in the shadows, outspoken - he was (and is) a cunundrum of a dude. I have never seen somebody go up and down in other people's opinions. He is a human roller coaster, and though I think I only really see him once a year, he is an awesome person.
I met Larry when I was in 6th grade. I came out for the wrestling team in Cinnaminson Middle School. I was ridiculously small back then and needed an equally small partner. Larry was equally small. From how I remember, he was a svelt, lanky kid who knew his way around a wrestling mat and a high crotch (wrestling move). I actually really thought he was dick at first, then switched partners with another kid slightly bigger than me. I started getting very down on myself after my new partner constantly put me down and treated me like shit. Larry, being the 7th Grade sensei that he was, asked me what was wrong. I told him what my partner did and said to me. Larry chewed out my partner and told him to knock that shit off, etc. From that point, I went with Larry as my partner. My first match, and subsequent 7 years of matches, pretty much ended with me on my back. The first match was pretty crazy in my mind - the kid was slamming me after practiced letting our partners down easily, was sticking his chin in my shoulders, and pushing me down so he could stand up. It seemed rude, but Larry told me it was part of the sport and he would do it to me from now on. Larry would sometimes cross a line between partner and enemy, but looking back I realize every little button he tried to push and every insult was just to fire me up and make me better than I really was.
Larry would go on to have moderate success as a wrestler in middle school as I recall. I always remember his older brothers, then-Cinnaminson legends, would come out to the matches to taunt and yell at Larry. We always found it amusing, but I could not fathom how he truly felt from that. His brothers had no problem yelling that he was a "p*ss/" at any given time in a match. One thing Larry always did though was keep his cool. He is a guy who I see loves his family for the most part. One time, when he was living with his parents right after high school, I went to pick him up for a night on the town. When I arrived he told me to come in because his mom insisted on feeding me green beans for dinner. She insisted, despite the fact that I told her I just came from dinner. She then stated that she hopes I did nt get the poops like Larry had.
Moving on...when I got to High School, and on the wrestling team, not much had changed body weight wise for me. Larry and I were still partners as he was in the weight class beneath me. He worked hard though to drop weight and be all skin and bones on the day of a wrestling match. I remember one day I did NOT make weight, and the whole order got screwed up. First year wrestler Freshman Billy Hughes had to take Larry's spot, Larry jumped up a weight class after working his ass off to be 1/2 pound underweight, and I was bumped from the lineup that night. I don't know if we won that night, but I remember everybody in the start of the match struggling due to my mishap. Larry berated me and blamed me for his loss that day. It threw me into a spiral of depression and I barely ate then. Looking back I know that was not his fault and Larry was just trying to help me get into the team mentality. I let the team down and everybody else suffered.
As usual, Larry's brothers would show up at the matches and yell at him. He also played football but I do not know if anybody was yelling at him there. Anywho, one day Larry almost singlehandedly created a riot when we were wrestling Delran, our fierce rivals and known to be Dirty Bears. It was tooth and nail all night. First, I disposed of Jim Duda in the early goings of the JV contest, lost my varsity match and out came Larry to avenge my loss. Larry was older and more sympathetic to the loss after I wrestled twice in one night. It was a close and crazy match for Larry. Larry, if I remember correctly, had the match in his hands. It was clearly his match, until he made a mistake. It would happen all the time to anybody - lead big in the match and make one mistake and it could all be over. Larry got turned over by his opponent, and caught in what looked like an unbelievably tight cradle. Larry's brothers were yelling at him, and we were all yelling for encouragement on the sides. All of a sudden the ref counts Larry to be pinned as his opponent jumps off him, looking bewildered. Apparently, desperate and willing to do anything to prevent a pinfall, Larry "lashed out" at his opponent. That was crazy enough for Delran people to start going bananas in the bleachers. Later that day, as written in the article above, Sean Frasier nearly incited a riot again with his elbow to the nose of his heavy weight opponent. It was a crazy day (though I had my redemption against Duda).
This is by no means an entry to put Larry down in anyway. Larry was one of those guys who always wanted to help the younger and inexperienced guys. He led by example - both of what to do and what not to do. He would help me perfect a move, then say some smart ass comment to the coach. Our coach was very critical of Larry, because he knew no matter what Larry did, it always could have been better. When your coach has that attitude with you, it can be hard on you. Coach (while we are all lining up for our 15th sprint of the night) - "Hey Larry, where did you get that rash from?" Larry - "Your mom..." Coach blew the whistle and left the room accusing Larry of saying what I just wrote. I don't know if Larry ever admitted to it, but regardless he had a lot of angry teammates. I was on the other side of the sprint line and never clearly heard Larry's response. Larry was damned for this.
My first ever District wrestling match was against Larry's cousin who was from Delran. We were both wrestling each other in the preliminary rounds. Unfortunately I had NO confidence in my skills and was beaten by his cousin who Larry simply said "sucks." Regardless, we had one of the bloodiest matches ever as we ran out of blood stoppage time for both of us due to bloody noses. We both had tampons in our nose to hold the blood bath to a minimum. In the end, the other guy's hand was raised, and Larry was pissed I couldn't beat his cousin. Unfortunately, I could not tell you how far Larry actually made it in the Districts and beyond.
As the high school years progressed, we eventually became friends with Larry (aside from associates). He started out always wanting to challenge people to contests and feats of strength. His best friend was Vito, and we would tend to hang out at Vito's house on a consistent basis with Larry leading the charge.
After my senior year in high school I went off to the Coast Guard Academy and missed one of the best Larry stories ever. That summer, everybody was hanging out down by Tim's dad's wave runner rental place - everybody but Larry. Somebody decided to tell Chris Anderson that Larry killed himself. Apparently, Anderson ripped his shirt off and jumped into the river in shock while declaring all he wants to do now is write poetry. I cannot imagine that scene. I don't know how it ended or how it was revealed to Anderson, but I heard that and couldn't stop laughing.
When I returned from the Coast Guard to resume my civilian life as a regular old commuter college student, Larry and Ed from Philly had rented an apartment together. It was like the show "Perfect Strangers" - only Ed was the white-gangsta "Cousin Larry" and Larry was a landscaping American "Balki". Ed had like silk sheets and throw pillows, Larry would throw his pillows on the floor. As time went by and we were all mostly single men, Ed/Larry acquired one of those cable descrambler boxes. When it was just the guys, we turned on the Playboy channel to see the softcore stuff they had on in the early evenings (eventually becoming very hardcore at late night). As weird as it was watching this with other guys, Larry made it that much weirder when he complained about the lack of "penetration" shown on this channel. I know what he was referring to, but we still called him Larry Cock'n'balls for a while.
Larry also usurped the role of boat captain on the original Duba's Arc. It was a creation of Dave Bell and myself during Hurricane Floyd in 1999. We had the rafts tied together, set to go down the creek turned raging river behind Fountain Farms park. The camera was set. I look back at the camera and WHOOSH Larry belly flops onto the raft and it takes off downstream. Eventually a tree that fell down broke their rafting trip and their faces.
From what I recall Larry held several different jobs at this time. Landscaper, customer service guy at a landscaping store, mortgage guy. He did a bunch of different things. One thing he always knew was if he had trouble finding work, his brothers could take him into their landscaping company. One day Larry smashed his thumb with a hammer. It turned purple under the nail and he was in severe pain. He allowed his brother to drill a hole in his finger to release the blood and ease the pressure. Sure enough, it worked. I never once have allowed anybody to use a drill on me who was not a dentist.
This was who Larry was, though, deep down - a fearless maniac.
We used to go to the Vertical Reality rock climbing gym at night after it was closed. Nick always found a way to let us hang out. It usually required us having only a small group of people come over, but one night it got out of control. Me, Dave Jacobs and Dave Bell were trying to practice wrestling moves on the giant pads, then moves while jumping off the 15 feet tall rock wall. Earlier that night Larry's younger sister jumped off the wall as if she were jumping in a swimming pool, even holding her nose. She sprained her ankle really bad and had to rest on the couch. This injury to his fallen brethren did not phase Larry (nor the fact that I had eaten his sister's ice cream bar she asked me to hold - when she got hurt I ate it). Larry climbs up the wall, then proceeds to step up on something else like 5 more feet up. He yells, "Anybody got a match?!" Then he rips his shirt off, and yells again, "'Cause I'm gonna burn down this motherfuckin barn!" Larry leaps, like a Superfly Jimmy Snuka body splash, into the air, he comes barreling down to the blue mats below. The mats were from the gymnasium next door and were several feet thick - pretty comfortable to fall on. Larry sails down at lightning speed. There is a faint sound of human meeting cushion then a sick thud. Larry had a 20 feet span to land on, and he landed right in the seam of the two mats pushed together. He went through like a hot knife through butter. He got up groggy yet unphased from the fall. Thus, Larry was now the Barnburner.
Eventually, while living at the apartment, Larry earned the name "The Larry Monster." I don't know what sparked the initial moniker, but everything he did, always with the best intentions, found a way to ruin something. Ed probably gave him this name, but I saw the monster come out one night. It was the evening of his sister Erin's 21st birthday. Larry calls me up tells me to come over so we can go out for her birthday. They lived across the street from the bar. I get there and there are maybe like 5 people there, including Ed and Larry. Larry proceeds to tell us how this is kind of a surprise and he kind of messed up. Erin told him she wanted everybody to get together and come out for her. He responded by saying something like "Nobody likes you" and had hopes of planning the birthday celebration behind her back. I think the day approached and he had forgotten his plans. Needless to say when Erin walked in and saw a few of us sitting there, after fighting with Larry all night and day, and we were emphatic with our "surprise" - she got very upset and said how much she hates Larry. Everybody got over it though and we eventually went out to the bar and had a great time.
Larry was the first person to buy me a drink when I turned 21. I was over the apartment on February 1, 2001, and was getting ready to go home. It was just about to turn midnight and Larry said, "You know, by the time we cross the street it will be your birthday." Larry, Chris Kerr, and I cross the street to Whistler's and then I was given a shot of Wild Turkey. Larry said that night that no matter what I did that night (it was a Friday night) I would always know who bought me my first shot. That was my only shot as I had to get up early for school the next day. And, as Larry said, I could not even tell you who bought me my second shot. I don't even know if Larry came out that night. Kerr was there I think as he helped me out of a dumpster. But Larry, you were the first.
When I got my driver's license, Larry was the first of my friends I ever drove around in my mom's car. It was a Cutlass Cruiser by Oldsmobile - a large station wagon that I one time fit 13 people in - comfortably. Larry and I maybe made a run a to 711 or were headed to Bryan Berryman's house or somewhere like that. No matter, as we were on Route 130 northbound in Cinnaminson by the 711. Larry asks if he can smoke and I said yes as long as he was careful. He maybe had two drags of his cigarette before ashing. When he did, I saw out of the corner of my eye something bright red. It got bigger really quick and I felt heat on my eyeball, followed by an instant burning of my eyeball. His fire just flew out of his cigarette and into my right eye. I was going maybe 60 miles per hour approaching a turn. I put my hands up over my face, pretty sure my feet were still in their position - right foot on the gas and left on the floor. I yell at Larry I can't see who yells back at me to slow down. I was young and stupid and didn't listen and Larry proceeded to continue to smoke while steering a blinded me through traffic and told me when to stop at the traffic light. Never seen (I guess I didn't see him) somebody be so cool and calm in a moment like that.
Larry was (and probably still is) a very talented guitar player. He tried turning the attic into a jam room of sorts and I think he had some recording equipment and amps up there too...
I cannot recall if he was creator of the song, co creator, or what - but he had a song called "Fantabuloso". I never got to hear Larry's version, but only Big Jim Robinson's version. I do not think the song had much commercial success, but I thought it was neat. Larry and I would often be sitting in the apartment and he would play parts of the song and I would try to guess. I wasn't very good at this game as I did not quite appreciate classic rock yet and never did nor ever will appreciate a band like Phish. I had a guitar too. He would encourage me to come over and jam with him, but he was much better than me and I didn't want to look like a jerk, even though I am sure Larry would have helped me.
One time Larry fell asleep on a toilet and Ed made his sister wipe Larry's ass.
Larry was always kind enough to let us walk through his room to access the roof of the apartment. A lot of cool hang out moments occurred on the roof. Larry was also almost always my right hand man for traveling up to parties at The College of New Jersey. I will never forget the night I drank a bottle of Southern Comfort. Larry had a new girlfriend who he seemed to really like and who really liked him back. She was cool (not as cool as his wife, though!). I was already 1/2 bottle into my binge for the night when he introduced me to her before I was about to walk from the backyard down the cellar stairs. I must've said "I'm Duba...it's a pleasure..." I proceed to do what I think is a pat on the back. It apparently turned into a hard smack that knocked her down the stairs. I know I felt horrible then so I apologized profusely to Larry. We eventually went on to become beer/Southern Comfort pong partners that night.
Oh man, later that summer, I believe, Larry and I met Tim at a party in Rutgers. We had met some girls the night before who knew Tim who also were going to be at the party. So Larry and I go up there. We start partying it up and we were running the beer pong table for the longest time. Larry was great and perfect for yelling trash to the opponent. He also was not afraid to show a little skin to win. That night, I passed out on La-z-boy recliner holding a giant panda bear. Larry and some girl say they are going to 711 for something and if I wanted anything. I pass out for maybe an hour or two and wake up to the sound of a paniced Larry and angry girl walking back into the party house. Larry was shot out of a cannon. He proceeded to tell me he found the 711 but somehow ended up going down the New Jersey Turnpike...on the wrong side. He was southbound in the northbound lane. Fearless.
Man, so many good thoughts about Larry I cannot help but look back and smile. After September 11 happened, we all went camping. It was a party night at TCNJ followed up with a one-nighter. The day we were going to leave, we all decide to trek up the river. Some people stopped on the rocks that were barely over the water while Nick Scalise, Larry, and I traversed/swam the river to a larger rock formation. we climbed the rock. Again, maybe 15 feet minimum in height. The three of us start debating whether we think the water is shallow enough to jump or not. As Nick and I are discussing, Larry runs and says "Only one way to find out" and proceeds to jump in a pencil-dive formation. He hits the water and his body enters the water as it would appear he was going to shoot straight down to the bottom. Only half his body went into the water and the force of his fall made the rest of his body crumple onto the giant rock he unexpectedly landed on. He proceeds to almost doggy paddle off the rock he landed on to climb back up all the while muttering "it's not deep...it's not deep...it's not deep".
I keep wanting to end this but I keep finding more memories...At Big Jim and Rachelle Robinson's wedding in I believe November 2008, it was a serene and peaceful affair. The bride's music was starting up. Everybody turns to look for the future Mrs. Robinson. Larry comes fast walking/jogging, reaching his seat seconds before the new Mrs. Robinson would begin her walk down the aisle. I heard Larry was invited, and I totally expected to see that happen.
I'm sure if you had any interest in reading this you have many more memories or currently create memories with him today. Larry is crazy, awesome, and one of the most well intentioned people I ever met. I could go on to write volumes of embarrassing stories about Larry, but that is not my goal. I have done that enough in some spots I'm sure. If I had to pick a team - be it dodgeball, hunger games, darts, pin the tail on the donkey - I would want Larry on my team. I know I could depend on him to no end and would fear him if he were on the other side. You can't hurt crazy.
